To feel a bit annoyed at someone watching TV on full blast when I'm working at home

[peasantfolk]

I'm stuck working at home, and unfortunately I am staying with my parents for a couple of weeks until I get back on my feet.

They refuse to turn the TV down (it's very, very loud) when I'm working, saying it's their house, their rules and that if I don't like it I can go upstairs.

That's fair enough but I find it depressing to spend 8 hours a day sitting in the cramped spare room then spend another 8 hours sleeping in it, if you see what I mean.

I think the reason I feel annoyed about it is because if I was in their position, I wouldn't even think of having the TV on while someone else was working.

I can see both sides to be honest, you can watch TV as loudly as you want in your own house, but AIBU to feel a bit sort of, dismissed? I have a tough job which requires a lot of concentration and my work is suffering quite a lot.

Luckily I will be moving out soon but I'm feeling quite hurt by it to be honest and it's bringing up a lot of emotions from when I was dismissed in childhood.

So you expect them to do something else with their day because you're there working from home? You can go upstairs, use noise cancelling headphones, go to a cafe.

It’s not unreasonable for them to watch tv in their own home..are they hard of hearing and that’s why it’s so loud?

Are you working in the same room as them downstairs and that’s why the tv is so loud?

To be honest you should probably just work upstairs, it’s annoying but hopefully it won’t be for too much longer

Sorry but you want to sit downstairs because you don't like bring upstairs, but by sitting downstairs they can't watch telly.

If you go upstairs to work they can watch telly and you can do your work in peace.

YABU to expect everything to stop for you when there's a perfectly good solution of you working upstairs.

Have regular breaks, go for a walk, have lunch downstairs.

of course YABU, you should be grateful they're giving you a place to stay not demanding they change how they live to suit you! The cheek

Sorry but YABU

Balancing competing needs is tricky, OP, however I’d say you’re being pretty unreasonable here. Assuming that watching TV is how they pass the time, and they need it that loud to hear properly, you can’t really expect them to pick up a new pastime just because you’re working from home.

Have you looked into noise cancelling headphones? You can get some pretty decent ones for not too much money nowadays.

You really expect them to not have the TV on at all because you're working?

You cannot expect to stay in someone elses house and for them to change their daily habits to suit you. Would be nice if they did but frankly it's tough tits really especially if you can go work elsewhere. Like Starbucks.

Op what do you expect them to do while you work you should work upstairs that's what I do so things can continue as normal downstairs

Just work upstairs op, pop out for a walk at lunchtime. Its not fair your parents should walk on egg shells in THEIR house.

So instead of going upstairs, you feel two people should make adjustments to suit you?

And also you are extremely lucky to have your parents house to stay at in the first place; I wouldnt have that.

Headphones?

My DH is wfh, set up in the main living area. First and foremost, it is our living area. While I am mindful of his work, particularly when he is on calls, and keep background noise to a lower level, I get bloody annoyed if come the depression session (aka the news), I cannot hear the TV over his booming voice on yet another sodding call.

If he finds the noise level too loud, he can take himself off.

Looks pretty unanimous then. I suppose in my defence, they're not actually watching the TV they just have it on as background noise. They're working too. But it is true that it's their place so they can do that if they want to. I feel like such a spoilt lazy teenage bitch now :D

Nah, it's a stressful time, and you're all piled up on top of each other. And obviously you're not lazy, you're working!

YABU as you already know

just give yourself breaks and force yourself to go out twice a day (walk, job, gym if you book, whatever fresh air or exercise you find).

Working in your bedroom is absolutely fine as long as you make the effort to get out!

I realize now that it was quite unreasonable. Feeling very stupid, selfish and embarrassed now . I think the noise and stress were just getting to me, I do wear noise-cancelling headphones but they were no match for that TV!

At least you can see it now though! It’s easy to become unreasonable when crammed up with your parents and all working from home. I think at a certain age (especially after you’ve lived alone) you just crave your own space.

I think the last bit of your original post - where you say it’s bringing up feelings of childhood hurts, is the bit that is on the mark... sorry it is affecting your work

Try to wear headphones & hang in there for next few weeks. I use wave / beach sounds (loads of 8 hr plus tracks on YouTube) as background noise for working, find it quit helpful, is that an idea?

Thank you, that sounds like a good idea

I completely disagree that this is ok. It sounds like your parents are pretty unreasonable. Why on earth can't they turn it down, or even better, go out and do something more productive with their day than watching inane daytime TV?

As for having it on as "background noise". FGS. We have music and radios for that, and you can use headphones.

Presumably if it's that loud you'll be able to hear it upstairs anyway.

Yes it's nice that you can stay with them (well maybe it isn't) but if someone is working you make allowances. It's only two weeks, they can go back to Homes Under the Hammer or Car Booty once you've gone.

I do know that obviously it's unreasonable to go to someone else's house and expect them to sit in silence or something while I work.

The reason I was getting annoyed I guess is because if I was in their shoes I would probably suggest a compromise like turning it down to a reasonable level.

it would be unreasonable if the OP HAD to be in the same room. When there are choices, they are not BU

Also the upstairs room is a tiny box room and I sort of have to kneel on the floor and have the computer on the bed and then my legs go numb, which is why I was initially reluctant to go upstairs.