To be feeling the absolute fear about 20 week scan?

[FlaminFlamingos]

I have this tomorrow and I can't relax.

I am absolutely terrified of something going wrong. I had a private scan at 17 weeks to find out the gender and everything was fine then, I've also had genetic testing for things like downs etc... Already which came back fine but I can't help but feel like I'll go tomorrow and they'll tell me the heart has just stopped or something.

I feel sick with worry.

I'm sorry your feeling so anxious about the scan. Are you feeling baby moving yet? Once you can feel baby it is reassuring.

@Mummyofboys88

I'm sorry your feeling so anxious about the scan. Are you feeling baby moving yet? Once you can feel baby it is reassuring.

I'm feeling what I think is the baby moving. It feels like bubbles though, low down so I joked with DH that it could just be gas and it's certainly not in any sort of pattern. Some days I feel it a lot, others I barely feel anything. I do have an anterior placenta though.

Oh op sorry to hear you're feeling so anxious.
I do think prehaps letting the midwife know how you are feeling may be useful.
Do you usually suffer with anxiety?

If you’ve seen a healthy baby at 17 weeks, the likelihood of seeing a healthy baby at 20 weeks is very very high (according to the probability, it’s 99.6% that seeing a healthy baby at 17 weeks will mean a healthy baby!) I know it’s so easy for me to say but honestly try to relax and enjoy the scan, I used to love seeing my little one wiggle on that screen. Best of luck for tomorrow.

@Wynston

Oh op sorry to hear you're feeling so anxious. I do think prehaps letting the midwife know how you are feeling may be useful. Do you usually suffer with anxiety?

I've tried to ring them but I'm not getting through unfortunately I wanted to double check the rules surrounding partners being allowed in before I came but no one is answering. I'll try again a bit later.

I do have anxiety yes, I've had losses before but they were very early ones up to about 8 weeks so it stems from this. I've had a few scans (although appreciate much earlier than this) where they've told me the heart has stopped and it just makes me panic every time I go now.

I feel like I could actually throw up every time I go in the room.

I'm only in early pregnancy but it's full of anxiety. I'm on a fb group for my due month and it's so common. If you haven't already you should join your months fb group, it's really helpful to be surrounded by others in the same position.

If you’ve seen a healthy baby at 17 weeks, the likelihood of seeing a healthy baby at 20 weeks is very very high

Thank you. It does reassure me somewhat and I've tried to tell myself this already however my brain goes off again thinking well they were only really looking to check the gender at that one, not in depth for problems like tomorrow.

I talk myself out of being logical with it, it's so frustrating.

Similar to you. I've had bad news at scans. In Jan heart had stopped beating at about 10 weeks and some chemical pregnancies previous to that. I think once you've had something like that you're hyper aware that anything could really happen so scans are really worrying and not an occasion for excitement as a lot of women seem to see them. I'm 30 weeks at the moment. I had the harmony test done that came back all clear but my heart was still in my mouth for the nhs 12 week scan and I couldn't stop trembling at the 20 week one. I don't even like it when the midwife does Doppler at my appointments even though baby is moving etc. I suffer with crazy anxiety though anyway. You may need some support going forward as tbh even when baby is here there will always be something to worry about if you're inclined that way. You can try asking gp or midwife for help.

You poor thing ❤️
Go easy on yourself.
I had several losses, including no heartbeat at 13 weeks. Well - with my (successful 🙂) pregnancy after that, I actually burst into tears on the street outside a private clinic at 7 weeks, and shouted at my husband, “I’m not fucking going in there just to be told it’s all stopped again.”
The fear is awful. I really feel for you.

I agree with @Lemondropsandgumdrops that statistically, the odds are very much in your favour. Knowing that helped me.

The other thing that helped, was accepting my fear. You’re not being stupid, or crazy - it’s a genuinely scary time. I focused on getting through it - thinking, OK, I’m so frightened, but by this time tomorrow / next week / wherever - I’ll know. I didn’t try to STOP being frightened (I couldn’t anyway!) so I didn’t give me the extra thing to feel bad about, didn’t try to stop feeling frightened. I just kept breathing, and kept putting one foot in front of the other.

Good luck tomorrow

You are not alone with these thoughts and feelings and I hope that in time it eases for you.
What do you think the rules are at the moment as regards to who can attend the scan??
Have you felt baby move yet???

It’s such a difficult time. The current climate really isn’t helping anyone’s mental health.

The odds of a good outcome are very much in your favour. All your screening is fine.

I understand though, I have my 12 week scan next Wednesday and shitting myself. These hormones don’t help!

What do you think the rules are at the moment as regards to who can attend the scan??

As far as I know the rules are that he can't come with me and I have to attend alone. That's what I've had to do with the other routine appointments including the early scans I had and my 12 week one. He was only allowed in for the CVS I had at around 13 weeks. However on the pregnancy board there are a few women who have been told their hospital have changed this now and they can have partners with them but I can't get hold of my hospital to check!

Thank you all so much for your replies. I'm trying to keep it together in front of DH so it's nice to just let it all out here and know I'm not alone in feeling this way.

I feel terrible, I'm not even sure I'll be able to eat anything between now and then! But I'll force myself.

Have you felt baby move yet???

I think I've felt it. I've felt what feels like a little flick or bubble quite low down. But it's not for a regular pattern yet it can go wild one day and then I can not feel it at all the next. I do have an anterior placenta though which they informed me at the 17 week gender scan.

I was allowed DH at my 20 week scan recently so some places are definitely allowing partners

I’m sure everything will be fine

I first felt movement at 17 weeks, and even without anterior placenta it was exactly as you described - little bubbles.

I've just reached the hospital and they've confirmed I can have DH in with me tomorrow so that's one thing that's made me feel better at least!

That’s great news I’m really glad for you

I was really nervous about it too. It's a good sign that the 17 week one went well. I hope everything will go well tomorrow. Pregnancy can be such a worrying time but statiscally most go well. Try to stay positive and distract yourself.

Hi! I have my 20-week scan tomorrow as well! I was incredibly anxious with my first pregnancy, far less so now. Would you like to check in here tomorrow so we can chat about the scan after it's done?

It is natural to worry it is an anxious time I'm glad your DH can go in too.
Try not to worry the private scan would have picked up issues.
Excited for pp's for tomorrow pls update.

Hi 👋
I'm corently 29 weeks pregnant and suddenly I start feel depressed 😔 I don't enjoy meeting my friends and kind of don't have motivation for nothing...
Do you think i should blame the hormones or i just got depressed?

Hope all went well with the scan OP x

How did it go @FlaminFlamingos?

I didn’t feel anything much before 25 weeks tbh, I had an anterior placenta. In my second pregnancy it was about 22 weeks but I knew what I was expecting then!