I'm anxious during school drop off and pick up

[Alxandra]

Feeling so anxious and lonely at school drop offs. DC is at Primary in a new school, other mums hang around and chat- I literally have no idea what to say or how to contribute to their conversations. They look so engrossed in their chats that I feel too intimidated to just walk up to them and join in.

How can I be more involved with these casual catch ups? What kind of conversations can I instigate? Please help!

I wouldn't worry too much, if parents are hanging around chatting it won't be long before the school shuts down anyway.

Do you recognise any of the parents of children in your DC's class or year? Smiling and saying hello is a really good start, try doing that whenever possible. You could ask if their DC is 'Johnny' and say your DC is in the same class, maybe ask how they're finding it or ask about reading books?

Wait & see who your child makes friends with, spot which parents those kids go up to and get chatting to them. Ask how there child is finding the new school year or chat about the weather

At mine, it happens that some of the other new mums are familiar faces from nursery so we have been chatting (at a slight distance) as the kids know each other/to help figure out the rules.

So it might be that some of the people you are seeing knew each other a bit beforehand. Is there someone else standing by themselves that you can lurk near and smile at?

We're not exactly being encouraged to hang around at the moment anyway so it might turn into drop and run fairly soon anyway?

I felt the same way when DD started a few weeks ago. Now I turn up at the exact pick up time and walk straight out saying hello only to my neighbours and their kids if I see them.

If it happens, it happens. If I doesn't then I'd rather not look like the mum desperate to make friends with everyone. Does your school have a whatsapp group you can join.

@Waspnest

I wouldn't worry too much, if parents are hanging around chatting it won't be long before the school shuts down anyway.

Haha this could be my dd school.

This is not the best of times unfortunately to be making new friends. Masks don't help as people can't see your reactions.
Do the parents have a Facebook group? If so introduce yourself on there.

We’ve been explicitly told by the head not to chat at the school gates

This is a tough one. Try your best to seem relaxed, and approachable but not desperate, if you see what I mean. You might find over time that one or more mothers will latch on to you, or there may be other 'lonely' people.

Go slightly early and chat to the first person to show up.
I don’t see the issue of chatting in a small group (under 6) outside as long as you’re 1m apart.

Perhaps there is a class whatsapp group where you can introduce yourself first?