Are cheaters always cheaters

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@OlympicProcrastinator

With the mug that forgives them the first time 100%

With another person who they truly love & who respects themselves enough to ditch them if they ever dreamt of cheating? No.

100% this. I cheated in my early 20s. Would never ever EVER cheat on DH. I don't even look at anyone else, have absolutely no desire or interest in doing so.

Depends. I think some people cannot be faithful and they get bored in a relationship therefore have an affair and seem to enjoy living on the edge.

Then there are people who have made one mistake and never do it again.

My partner or 8 years has been nothing but faithful to me. I know that because when he isn't at work, he's at home. He doesn't really go out. We share phones (not that I check his phone but we use each other's).

Yet he's always been open that there was cheating in a past long term relationship. They weren't working out and they had some the same and ended up splitting (so slight different scenario)

So no I don't think once a cheater, always a cheater tbh.

Oh @PigletJohn re Boris

I think someone who has cheated in a past relationship can change and not cheat in future relationships.

I'm not sure I'd ever 100% trust someone again who had cheated on me though. In your situation, OP, I'd trust your instincts and do some digging. It's not just the previous cheating, it's how he's behaving now.

When he was cheating on me a few years ago joe he would have little cheeky comments for no reason then turn things into an argument now he's saying I easily anoy him and I ask how as we are both so busy with work we hardly see each other he said for example i come in late ( which I have always done since we have been together bcz I finish work late ) he said he gets anoyed he can't make the bed in the morning cz am still sleeping ? Wtf !! It was raining one day but got quite sunny last week but most furniture was wet and he blamed me that I didn't take in the garden cushions I asked why he didn't as I didn't think it was a problem they were out he snapped and said bcz I took them out so you should have put them in the shed

I think when it comes to men, yes, once a cheater always a cheater.

Yes ... I think cheaters can go long periods of time when they don’t such as when they enter a new relationship as they are genuinely happy but they are still cheaters.

The ones I've met or worked with were all serial cheats. They were all easily bored,insecure (though outwardly flamboyant extroverts) ,liked/needed the attention & thrill junkies: so the the thrill of the chase was their high. Once the chase was over boredom set in quite quickly & the cycle started again.

No. I was a terror in my 20’s, I’d never behave like that now.

If they do it once, maybe, if they do it again, looks likely.

If person A cheats on person B and gets away with it, they’ll do it again.

But person A could later meet person C and be faithful.

So, it depends on the partner.

It’s why I think that people who forgive cheats need to make peace with the likelihood that they’ll do it again, and if they can’t make peace with that, they need to leave.

No, obviously they're not always.
I also believe that everyone has it in them to cheat, given the right set of circumstances.
So I'm basically a barrel of laughs.

I have cheated. It was wrong, and I never thought I would - ever - but the circumstances were what they were, so I did. I know that's vague and I can explain if you want but it'd be really long.

I wouldn't agree that I am 'always a cheater' because I have cheated once. However I would also say that I can never say for sure that I wouldn't do it again, because NOBODY knows what life will throw at them, or the situations they'll find themselves in.

I am very happy with my partner and have been for three years, have never cheated on him and believe that I won't - but that's judging on the way things are now.

Hopefully that makes sense!

Everybody is a potential cheater. Those who have cheated before are usually more likely to do so again, although a very few learn their lesson and are less likely.

Will someone who stole once always steal? Will someone who lived once always lie? Will someone who killed once always kill?

I think it depends on a range of factors: circumstances around the cheating, work done post cheating, personality, etc

Alcohol and immaturity led to lots of my social circle cheating in their early 20s most have now gone on to have faithful relationships. Prolonged cheating in a relationship would be a deal breaker.

No..I cheated when I was younger and was cheated on. I would never cheat on my husband.

I think that if someone has done it once then crossing that line again may not seem such a big deal.

The ones I know of have gone on to do it again and then been outraged when their partner cheated on them.

I think once a charter, always the possibility if being a cheater. The reason being us tat they crossed the line once, it’s easier to do it again

I’m also not one to believe in ONS to not be counted as cheating. Drunken or otherwise. If they were too drunk not to give consent. it’s not a ONS but assault.

Cheating is about making the decision to cheat, to cross that line.

yes and anyone who thinks otherwise is kidding themselves.

When I was young I cheated in most relationships until I met my now DH. I would never cheat on him. I think if someone has cheated on you before they already have a level of disregard/disrespect for you that's unlikely to change. If you let them get away with cheating once then they are quite likely to do it again. In your case OP I imagine your suspicions are warranted.

I cheated once when I was 18. He found out but we stayed together for two years after that, I didn't do it again and we broke up for another reason.

I've been with DH for 8 years and I have absolutely no desire to look elsewhere. I love the bones of him and it has never even crossed my mind.

@LadyEloise

Oh *@PigletJohn* re Boris

Yes, and don't forget the cheating he does on a daily basis in his line of fuckery work

People have needs that need to be met, sexual, emotional, cerebral etc. If a relationship meets your needs you don’t need to look elsewhere. People cheat when their needs are not being met.

@amusedbush

I cheated once when I was 18. He found out but we stayed together for two years after that, I didn't do it again and we broke up for another reason.

I've been with DH for 8 years and I have absolutely no desire to look elsewhere. I love the bones of him and it has never even crossed my mind.

I think this is the difference between those with the potential to cheat and lifelong non-cheaters.

A potential cheater doesn't cheat because they don't feel like it at that time, they're happy, they love their partner, etc etc.

A lifelong non cheater doesn't cheat not due to their own feelings about their partner, but because they choose not to cause that sort of wretched pain and harm to another person (their own partner and any affair partner's family). It's a choice not to do harm to anyone at anytime.