To feel like this life is a practice run?

[hopefulness]

I really can't shake the core belief I have that this life of mine is just the practice run. Obviously, I know logically that is not true. Yet the belief that this is just the dress rehearsal version of my life before the "proper one" is really affecting the way I live my life. I don't know why or how this belief even developed.

It is hard to describe but I feel like it shows itself in both big life events as well as little everyday things. For example, when I graduated from university I sort of rushed through the day like I was going through the motions and learning my lines ready for the proper version "next time".

I do it with little things too. Like making the effort to see people, or make things "special" like celebrating the changing of the seasons. I feel like others live a lot more mindfully and consciously than I do.

Does anyone else feel like this?

I do know what you mean. Part of me thinks there will be other chances when logically there won't be.

I never used to feel like this but have done recently and it’s a scary and sad feeling. Was actually thinking of speaking to someone about it in real life as it’s troubling me

I'm sure there was a thread about this fairly recently...

Yes I feel like this a lot in recent months. I think that maybe I'm losing a grip on reality. Have you been isolated? I have, and think that could be why. But I don't want to mix with others.

I wouldn't say it's too far off from religious beliefs except that it's not a practise run its real but the forever life is after death and resurrection - as a believer in God and His holy books, the 'real' forever life is when we go to Paradise or hell. Some will go to hell to pay off the bad deeds and eventually be admitted to Paradise. Some will be placed in a world similar to this whilst others will be in Paradise eternally.
So whilst it's not a practise run, it is the making of our forever life.

I think it’s a protective mechanism possibly, a kind of mental dissociation to avoid acknowledging discomfort - what I am experiencing is too big/too scary/too grim/just too awful, if I accept that This Is It then isn’t that just fucking depressing and what’s the point, but if I lull myself with the promise that there will be a Next Time when everything will be better, then it’s not so bad, just grit my teeth and get though Right Now, don’t think about it too much because it doesn’t really matter. Rinse wash repeat.

I wouldn’t worry too much about how other people are living their lives though, comparison being the thief of joy and all that. How would you like to live and experience your life? How might you be able to achieve that?

This is interesting..

I have probably 'wasted' a lot of my 59 years on this Earth. I've always been 'that'll do for now' as if next time it'll be the real deal.

Living the life I want is not possible really. I want to be surrounded by a close knit family/community, I'll never have that

OP there's no practice run on life. You live once and you die once.
However most people have lots of experience in between to make the most of what they have. Some days are harder than others for sure.
But no, you only get one shot at it and you don't normally know if or when you've run out of luck. 🙂

Of course if you’re Buddhist it’s just one of many 🙏🏼

OP this is not far off from my belief. Although I don't feel the practise run part of it, I do believe in God and believe this is not all there is. Its part of eternal life and therefore the part on earth does seem like a practise run for the other part to come come. In saying that, I have appreciated things much more this year and been more mindful than I normally would. Its been a tough year but I wouldn't have changed it.