I don't like adding "shaming" onto the end of everything but...coughshaming?

[LetMeJustLookAtTheFuckingHam]

Admittedly I am in a fucking foul mood.

I have lung disease. I am also in my 40s and like to have a life (well as much as we all can at the moment). I wear a mask and am very careful to maintain social distancing etc - for myself as well as everyone else. I try to be as active as I can be (I was on the CEV/shielding list but need to balance this with keeping healthy, mind as well as body). It's only really walking in the fresh air and going into shops occasionally.

Sometimes I wheeze a bit. Unfortunately I also cough sometimes. This isn't a "dry" cough though. It sounds "chesty" and throat clearing if you know what I mean? It's worse in cold weather and I had pneumonia last year which made it worse. I know it's going to be a crap winter and I won't be out much when it gets colder.

I do understand that if people hear someone coughing it may make them nervous and I do sympathise with that, if someone moves even further away and I accidentally catch their eye and see they're worried (especially elderly people) I will usually just smile at them and say "I have lung problems, it's not coronavirus" and it's fine. But what fucks me right off is the nasty unpleasant unconcealed judging and being rudely questioned. Just this morning someone said to me (I was keeping my distance and just looking at some ham) "should you be outside?" and their tone was almost disgusted. It felt horrible.

Funnily enough this never happens when I'm with DH who is about a foot and a half taller than me and has a terrible resting bitch face. I really don't want to have to make a general announcement I don't have CV before or after I cough and like I said I don't mind explaining myself especially if someone is vulnerable like I am, but I don't want to be treated like a piece of shit who is stupid and irresponsible.

AIBU to feel if people really feel they must question me they could at least be fucking pleasant about it.

I always always keep my distance and actively avoid people. I try to cough as infrequently as possible, wear a mask (and a scarf if cold) and cough as discreetly as possible into my elbow. I have tried sucking sweets, chewing gum, carry a water bottle, have even tried not wearing a bra

Oh that was long Also, I was so upset I didn't even buy the fucking ham and now DC will have nothing for sandwiches and they are fussy fuckers

I have a long term cough too. If someone says something I will explain. If they are rude I will be rude back. My resting bitch face is strong even masked though, so no one has said anything yet!

Oh the rudeness and meanness of some people never fails to amaze. Sorry this happened to you.

Ooh unmarked imagine if we met in a supermarket aisle and coughed and looked understandingly and sympathetically at each other.

Clearly I need to work on my resting bitch face. I am convinced if I was taller and more "intimidating" people would STFU. I do have hair which you think would make me seem scary but usually elderly women love to talk to me (usually about the hair) and everything is just so different now.

I have a post-nasal drip. So I'm always coughing as I have phlegm in my throat. Every cold I get gives me a horrible cough as it all builds up in my throat and lasts for weeks. I am using a steroid spray and waiting for an ENT referral.
I wish I didn't cough but I do. The week before lockdown I remember being at work and coughing and getting dirty looks from colleagues. I had to keep reassuring them it wasn't covid.
I'm so glad I'm working at home now, the stress of trying not to cough and getting those looks would be horrible. I wish I wasn't like this but not much I can do about it at the moment!

It does make you paranoid about coughing in public. I sympathise. My hay fever sometimes makes me cough but I make sure not to do it near anyone.

Sounds really awful OP, and this really isn’t on or reasonable of people at all.

It’s nothing like in the league of what you’re putting up with, but I have a GERD cough, so this can also be a bit of an issue, and I feel worried about coughing if I’m out. Dd also gets an asthmatic cough so we’re a right pair!

If people are that worried about you coughing, then they are too close
🤷

Just say “I’m doing a public service, carrying off the mean and nasty!”

I am in school with a cough, having tested negative. I look forward to being blamed when pupils come down with a cough and their families having to self-isolate.

I'm a hayfever suffering asthmatic with a cough triggered by pollen and even running in windy weather and it's making me a bit paranoid!

I think if you are wearing a mask, you are doing your bit. People are hyper sensitive at the moment and unfortunately there are enough of the mask free crowd about, that people are on edge. For example, there was a woman in the supermarket, without a mask, coughing. It did upset people, in that case, as no one is to know if its a medical issue or just selfishness. So it's a tough one, OP.

Some do think they've the right to comment on anything remotely COVID-related looking to them, and I've noticed far less comments when either my spouse or beanspout son are around. Very sad that that's what it takes at times for people to be less rude. I don't have a cough, but I've POTS, which has meant I've needed sometimes to hold a wall or shelf to steady myself and oh the comments on touching things, I've been tempted to ask what they'd think I'd touch if I fell on the floor...

I've seen the joke of where someone used to cough to cover a fart, now they might fart to cover a cough.

I've also seen picture pins, I think it was Japan, that people could wear and said things like 'Hayfever, not contagious' because people were nervous about this.

I have acid reflux and get a bad cough at nights. It's OK atm as I'm on medication and as it usually happens at night I've not had any negative looks or comments from people. But yeah, I know what you mean, it's not a new cough so it's not coronavirus!

I take a common medicine that has a dry cough as a common side effect. Oh what fun and yes it's not nice when you're trying to suppress that cough

Hay fever this year is much worse and seems to trigger a cough

I inhaled a bug a few weeks ago on my way to the supermarket. Full on coughing fit no-one said anything but they did give me an extremely wide berth.

People cough for a myriad of reasons. If someone next to me was coughing I'd move away (but I'd do that before covid too) but I wouldn't tell them off.

DH has cough variant asthma, meaning he hacks and coughs continually. At the end of February, he was returning on the EuroStar from business in Paris. As the train pulled into London, a Mandarin-speaking Chinese woman (we lived in China; we can tell from the accent) said loudly: Who was coughing? And when he identified himself fearlessly, she handed him a face mask. I am sorry to say we laughed and laughed afterwards... Times have changed eh?

I went for my first meal out since before lockdown last week. We had Mexican food and a rogue bit of chilli hit me right on that sensitive spot at the back of the throat. Queue huge coughing fit (which I was careful to cover with a tissue and then went outside to recover from). The looks I got from the table of old(er) ladies were something else.

Not just me being coughshamed then - there are clearly a lot of knobheads about who love to rush to judgement possibly just like all of us on AIBU 

Working in a school with a cough though @SaltyAndFresh. Props to you. You're a braver person than I am! The schools round here would probably drag you out and tie you to a lamppost and throw stones at your head. And I mean teachers too not just students

@LetMeJustLookAtTheFuckingHam, I was tested yesterday and they wanted me back in. We'll see how that goes.

YANBU, ots cold season so everyones got abit of a cough atm. its more acceptable to fart out loud in public these days than it is to cough