To dislike it when people act like they were best friends with someone after they die.

[tryingmybest29]

Trigger warning.

I have a friend (not a close friend more like a friend of a friend) and every time someone dies young or in tragic circumstances locally she acts like she's knew them very well posting it all over her social media even before their family has. Mainly for sympathy for her. But the thing is most of the time she doesn't know them

I love how in terrible circumstances that the local community rally together for the family, raise money for the family for a funeral and pay their sympathies. That is lovely in sad circumstances.

This friend will act like she knew them really well when she does. Gets dressed up for the funeral etc when she barely knows them.

It could be that it's her children's friends cousins aunt or something - just got an example or she may have seen them before in the street but she does not know them.

I know this because it happened recently. She was messaging a friend asking who it was saying she didn't know her etc. Yet an hour later they were supposedly friends! It's like she likes the attention. It's bizarre.

I don't get it? Aibu to be annoyed by this and think it's dam right disrespectful the grieving family and friends?? Maybe I'm just in a foul mood but I just feel the family when she posts it on social media with the 'gossip'.

Grief tourists is polite. I call them grief wankers. Enjoying the grief for their own self gratification.

My ex husbands passing was the worst I’ve ever seen, lots of posts all over Facebook, huge attendance at his funeral. Lots of ‘friends and family’ who couldn’t wait to fawn all over DS promising him the world. Insisting on taking my number to keep in touch with DS and haven’t heard from a single one since, though all very quick to flood social media when it suits them about how much he’s missed.

I can’t stand this. My two godsons (brothers) have lost both their parents very young. First their dad passed away really young 5 years ago and then their mother got ill and she passed 3 years later. Awfully tragic, in lots of ways. We come from a small town and there is so much gossip. How people are “heartbroken for the beautiful boys”. It makes me feel sick. There is also some voyerism at play. As if talking about this horrific situation and how awful it is makes them feel better about their own lives. Not many things have caused me more anger than this. Whilst they sit and talk over cheese and wine about this “tragedy” the rest of us are having to pick up every little bit of strength that we have left to carry these two young boys into adulthood as intact as we possibly can. They will need every little bit we have left. And we will give it, we love them so much

It's the same as people who see a major incident at a place and post that they were there three dats earlier or whatever, it's horrible.

@qazxc

Ah grief tourist. If you get some together they will also start competitive grieving. About ten years ago, my demise was announced on Facebook ( no idea why) and the outpouring of grief from people I only vaguely knew, hadn't heard from since school, or cannot place was huge. Along with cringey " RIP Angel" type messages.

I added someone on Facebook a few years back and they apparently nearly fell off their chair. They had been told I had died. By my mother. That was fun.

It’s also called ‘grief thief.’

I just expect it to happen now at funerals - some randomer will turn up and wail all over the place.

At a family funeral a woman who barely knew the deceased got annoyed that I was mentioned in the eulogy and came over to ask what exactly my relationship was to my aunt.

Generally at a funeral people are too drained to even care about the lunatics.

She's a grief thief. People like that are pathetic and I won't have them in my life.

I’ve never heard of grief tourism but now I know the expression I can apply to many!

The attention is sickening. The “I’m having an awful time” because someone who was a friend of a friend once attended a night out for 2 hours 5 years ago, sadly passed away and they can’t get over it.
The worst though are those who slate a person to the ground, call them worse than enemies but when become poorly and pass away “rip my angel” get the fuck. I sometimes really like a person then see that behaviour and that’s it over for me.

‘About ten years ago, my demise was announced on Facebook ( no idea why) and the outpouring of grief from people I only vaguely knew, hadn't heard from since school, or cannot place was huge. Along with cringey " RIP Angel" type messages.‘

Actually if people are going to role play the bereaved I am up for faking being the deceased. That’s far preferable.

As redlockscelt said, it’s akin to those who try to make an event about them. If you weren’t there then it really isn’t about you. A bomb on a tube line that you routinely take makes you stop & think that you’ll pay more attention to your surroundings in future, but unless you or a loved one is affected SM posts are just attention-seeking.

I cannot stand when a tragedy happens and people lay endless bunches of flowers at the scene.
I can't stand it when people clap when a hearse is leaving funeral service.
I can't stand when people you know vaguely hug you like they are your best friend

Family flowers only and stand in dignified silence.

Stripesgalore. You'd think there would be perks to being the fake deceased, I didn't even get the day off work. Instead I had to ring family and friends going "Hi xxxx, it's qazxc. Just ringing to let you know I'm not dead." Which makes you sound insane.

Before my Brothers funeral (only young) we were ready waiting to in my parents house with close family. Then three distant family members turned up and came in. It was really bizarre as we never had anything to do them and my Brother didnt even get on with their Son who came too. The Mum started asking what dress size I was and saying how much slim was I was just stunned that they were even there.

Made it even worse when the Jehovah Witnesses knocked on the door even though the flowers that were to go on the coffin were on the front garden.