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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be so upset that exercise has effectively ruined my figure?

179 replies

MyBodySucks · 21/09/2020 19:26

I was a size 6-8 until about a year ago, when I started Pole Fitness classes, as well as a few other classes at the same club, things like Body Pump.

I've eaten the same as always (clean!) but the exercising has given me a body that I hate and I'm so upset about it.

Basically my thighs and upper arms have beefed up, for want of a better expression. I can barely even get size 10 jeans over my thighs now, and my arms look like men's arms. My waist, and tummy look good I suppose but everything else is just horrible and I hate how I look!

I'm quite short at 5ft 4 inches and so in clothes I just look large and stocky.

Has anyone else found the same thing? I am stopping classes and going to just walk and do pilates in future and hopefully my muscles will shrink and I'll look ok again.

AIBU to be upset?

OP posts:
Eckhart · 22/09/2020 21:15

@Emmie12345 I'm not in the slightest bit cross, I don't know why you think I am. I'm a bit baffled as to why a person who didn't want to get muscly would continue doing muscle building exercises, though. I mean, even if you've read that you won't be able to put on muscle, surely the fact that you are putting on muscle would be enough to stop you? And if not, why not?

GoatCheeseTart · 22/09/2020 21:30

OP says she's been taking the classes at the gym though

BogRollBOGOF · 22/09/2020 22:13

I'm a muscular, pear shaped 5'2. It's best to embrace it and feel proud of what your muscles do for you. My muscles run up to half marathon distance and do yoga and they deserve appreciation.

It's a pain that it's awkward to buy trousers for my thighs and bum that aren't voluminous on the waist, or I buy tops for my small bust then struggle with tight arms, but that's not my body at fault. My body does its job well and it's never going ti be the supposed "ideal" that media favours, even as imagery diversifies, you just don't see short musular women with big glutrs and small breasts.

Bodies also change with age. I'm not going to be size 6-8 again like I was 20 years ago. As long as I'm a healthy size without too much wobble (I'm watching you mum tum...) the actual sizing doesn't matter as long as clothes fit well. A quick change to body shape can take a while to adjust to (even you mum tum, still a newbie after nearly 10 years)

S00LA · 22/09/2020 22:47

I know totes how you feel OP. My life and figure have been effectively ruined by exercise too.

I ’m also a size 10 and 5’ 4” and look short, stocky and fat. I’m so humiliated at having to squeeze into my size 10 jeans because I’m so gross. I can’t imagine what life is like for women who have to buy size 12 jeans, I know I would just die of humiliation.

Every time I meet a new man and I try to have sex, he sees my huge fat size 10 thighs and runs a mile. I’ll never get a shag again.

My life is not worth living now I’m no longer a size 6 and I can’t sneer at women who are size 8.

I’m thinking of suing Les Mills for not explaining that fitness activities could make you fitter.

Mincingfuckdragon2 · 22/09/2020 22:57

@S00LA I got very cross reading your first two paragraphs, til I worked it out. Grin

YellowandGreenToBeSeen · 22/09/2020 23:06

@GreySkyClouds & @toconclude

Fair points both. I guess a) I hate any ‘ideal’ being pushed on anyone. To each their own ideal! And b) I am a natural apple shape - I work hard to maintain a shape I like. It don’t come natural!

But I didn’t mean to offend - my post was ill worded.

Theradioison · 22/09/2020 23:24

Gyms have been open since July 4th in UK with Bodypump classes on.

I never seem to get past lifting really light weights in Bodypump, agree that if you can press up over your head then it's too light for your legs. I do love it though, a class helps massively with motivation

S00LA · 23/09/2020 08:15

Grin @Mincingfuckdragon2

G5000 · 23/09/2020 09:17

I don't get why some posters seem to have such a massive issue with BodyPump. It's better to work out with a personal trainer? Of course it is. It's also better to go running with a proper running coach, but I don't see masses of people on C25K threads telling everybody they should not go jogging as it's not as efficient and won't teach you how to pole vault or something (like this one blog post complaining BP won't teach you how to rack - of course it doesn't, you don't need to, why would it?).

Ullupullu · 23/09/2020 16:46

@Theradioison no, gyms reopened on 25th July in the UK (England, anyway). I remember being there on the first day. Not sure where you got 4th from.

Guineapigbridge · 23/09/2020 17:09

@EmilySpinach

Your feelings are your feelings and they are valid but there is some pretty complex internalised misogyny going on when healthy, fit women feel so upset at the prospect of looking strong and taking up a bit more space.
Amen!!!
Bwlch · 23/09/2020 18:21

@Theradioison no, gyms reopened on 25th July in the UK (England, anyway). I remember being there on the first day. Not sure where you got 4th from.

I started back at my gym on the 2nd July. In England, this year.

Outdoors sessions.

Ullupullu · 23/09/2020 19:00

Outdoor exercise classes are not "the gym" though? The gym is a building.

Theradioison · 23/09/2020 19:11

Outdoors, indoors, streaming or in person, 4th or 25th July? what does it matter?

The fact is you've been able to access Bodypump in one form or another in 2020 continuously 🤷

Lemonyfuckit · 23/09/2020 19:29

I'm short, and of a slightly muscly / athletic build - ie I build muscle quite easily and also gain weight quite easily, so I think of myself as somewhat stocky (albeit I am trying to lose weight, but like some
muscle definition and definitely subscribe to the strong not skinny look, I don't think I could be skinny if if tried..). I I injured my knee several years ago and was on crutches and was so surprised to see how very thin the leg I wasn't using got in just two weeks (as in in literally two weeks it went skinny looking) - given that just walking around normally day to day gives me 'sturdy' legs. Surely not doing the exercises that have built up muscle would in time make you less bulky?

Bwlch · 23/09/2020 20:59

"Outdoor exercise classes are not "the gym" though? The gym is a building"

Your gym has no outside space?

Ullupullu · 23/09/2020 21:19

My gym has no outside space. Can't think of any that do and I've attended plenty in my life. What an odd thing to say.

Ullupullu · 23/09/2020 21:20

But fine, @Theradioison makes the more pertinent point that the OP somehow has been doing body pump all year.

Emmie12345 · 23/09/2020 21:34

My gym has outside space fwiw

Bwlch · 23/09/2020 21:52

My gym has no outside space. Can't think of any that do and I've attended plenty in my life.

That probably explains your very narrow minded view of what a gym is, or can be.

It's amazing wat you can do with tents and a bit of imagination.

Theradioison · 23/09/2020 22:53

My gym has no outside space. Can't think of any that do and I've attended plenty in my life. What an odd thing to say.

My last two gyms have both had plenty of outdoor space, go figure as they say in the States 🤷

Theradioison · 23/09/2020 22:53

But fine, @Theradioison makes the more pertinent point that the OP somehow has been doing body pump all year.

You could do it on-line all the time though, gym or no gym.

MissMessy12 · 23/09/2020 22:54

.

Theradioison · 23/09/2020 22:55

I live in the sticks and although my gym is in a town it has a lovely outdoor seating area which cleared of chairs could easily function as an outdoor exercise area no problem.

JohnMcCainsDeathStare · 24/09/2020 14:47

I understand if being muscular isn't your asthetic but I wonder if women not wanting to be muscular has some elements of retained misogyny?

Certainly my GM thought that any women more than a size 10 was garbage and had a horror of being 'overmuscled' from too much exercise.

I'm 5'2" and I like the fact that being muscular means I DO take up more space - it is a way of being 'big' without being too heavy or growing taller. I think it keeps me physically younger and who doesn't feel like a bad-ass when doing pull ups or the monkey bars?