To wish parental awareness around children gaming was geared more towards informing rather than hysteria?

[PasstheBucket89]

That really, a lot of parental information given out by schools and other bodies are often quite scaremongering in there tone.

Yes, things like don't give out personal information, dont private chat, don't play violent, age innappropriate games and so on are very important. that can be transferred to films and meeting people in the street its not solely for internet games.
I recieved an information sheet about Roblox that may as well have been a Howler going PAEDOs! on the INTERNET! Don't let them play PAEDOs!,, yes of course its a risk, but its a risk anywhere! the percentage of convicted paedophiles that worked in education is massive! its like 60%,,if i suggested on mass people should now pull children out of education for that reason, id be viewed as barmy!
We all know overwhelmingly CSA is someone you know, an Uncle, a Neighbour etc, the idea that mungusfingus2000 who probably hasn't left his mothers spare bedroom in a year is a much larger threat., its bad information! there has to be a line between informing and scaremongering, focus more on screen time limits and how it impacts sleep and the mental over stimulation etc. AIBU to notice that a lot of information aimed at parents is not about keeping them informed but keeping them hysterical?

bumpx

YANBU. These days internet safety should be on par with road safety. We don't stop our kids from ever crossing the street in case of a car, and we shouldn't do the same with the internet. DS has known since well before he was old enough to go online unsupervised what behaviours are safe and what are not, and what to do in case of an approach by someone who may not be what they seem.

My older DC go to two different schools. During their internet safety week in January one of the schools sent out a leaflet like you describe, the basic gist of it was that only shit parents let their kids game and you should discourage it as much as possible or else they will be doomed. The other school during their internet safety week in February sent out an information pack that guided parents through the basics of the online activities popular with their pupils. It had a page about Minecraft, what the point of the game is, ways to join in with your child while they're playing it, things to be aware of. Same for Roblox. And Fortnite. And YouTube. It had a guide on how to set up parental controls on home wifi and how to talk to your child about internet safety along with links to helpful websites. It recommended playing the games your child wants to play in order to get an idea of what they're about and whether they're suitable. It talked about how games and videos can be educational as well as fun. It was very balanced and I much preferred their approach to the other schools approach.

@PasstheBucket89

the percentage of convicted paedophiles that worked in education is massive! its like 60%

Interesting statistic. What’s the source, please?

Thanks for the responses, @Gacanny yes! im. glad im not alone in thinking this, ive had ones regarding roblox, minecraft all very doomy i wish their was more balance.

Dont get me wrong they try their best i. e mentioned to parents about the suicide video doing the rounds and momo etc. its very difficult for parents to have sensible suggestions of age appropriate internet usage and how to ensure peer relationships arent isolated too much, all you get is, get them off the Internet you disgraceful parent!!! ,

i found this overlapped a lot of Facebook ASD groups with people who though no screens and diet can cure autism, about what screen times limits for a 10 year old for example? and the replies, the sanctimonious attitude was unreal, people living off grid is fine obviously each to their own, im addressing here sanctimonious attitudes, it quickly descended into a very tedious circle jerk about who could be the most punitive parent. "My Timothy, isnt allowed any screen time other than half an hour on the weekend! no tv during the week, no sugar, no gluten and no additives he's much more subdued now " " im not surprised the poor little bugger! what a joyless existence, probably broken him. Like i said why not focus on the best time to come, mental overstimulation, impacts on. bedtimes etc.

@ItsGoingTibiaK,, Its been well known a long time also education doesn't just mean school, a few years back they closed the legal loophole in which sports coaches could have relationships with students, as paedophiles exploited this loophole.

I've just allowed my two juniors age Roblox. It turns out that you can actually get too much Minecraft during 5+ months of lockdown. Their friends genuinely are playing it, and I've asked about it with parents.

My fundamentals are if you see something that bothers you or upsets you, tell us. Even if you did something stupid, tell us.
Don't friend people you wouldn't friend in real life.

The genie was out of the bottle years ago. It does concern me that unlike my 386 PC in my bedroom 25 years ago when I could play with paint and making jokes on screensavers, everything is interconnected now. I'm probably more generous than average with screen time, but for DS1 in particular he has SNs and benefits from interactive worlds where he can create anything and not be held back by pesky rules like gravity, and he doesn't have to use mental energy on social conventions.

As long as there is balance and boundaries, there has to be a bit of trust and there are benefits to gaming.

We have similar rules to you, I also have a rule that if anyone says "don't tell your mum/dad" or "it's a secret so don't let your mum/dad know" then the very first thing they must do is to tell us.

I am autistic and I used to be a monstrous gamer. I'd do twenty hour sessions without a break, no food, just a large bottle of cherryade by my side. The house could have fallen down around me and I would not have left that screen.

It must be pretty terrifying for parents of asd children to witness the kind of focus and obsession that I had, I'm not surprised they panic.

Once on a group minecraft game my sons and their friends were on, a man apparently would sometimes enter and refuse to tell them how old he was, apparently he didn't say much of anything else but definitely wasn't a child.it happened twice, the second time my son yelled to me "Mum, that creepy man is on again!" of course he flew offline never came on again. When i told some people, their knee jerk reaction was oh have you banned mine craft??? Erm NO why on earth would i punish a child for such an immediate and sensible response .

DH and I both game. We have no problems with DS gaming, though we obviously research any games he's interested in to ensure they're suitable. He's only allowed to access YouTube while one of us is in the room and he knows why to an age appropriate extent.

Gaming isn't inherently bad, it's done wonders for his reading, for example. I used to come homw and watch TV for an hour, DS rarely watches TV, he plays Minecraft or Animal Crossing instead.

So you haven't got a source for your 60% figure, it's just something that's 'well known'.

Talk about hysteria - Limiting access to screens, even significantly below average or with a narrower diet, doesn't break a child and is not automatically a joyless existence. I wouldn't go that low or eat that way, not my thing, but plenty of people have joy without screens and e-numbers. Making up a meaningless stat that's "well-known" is not informative in the slightest.

My DDs' school mainly just sends out rare leaflets on the technical age requirements for popular games, social media, and so on, alerts on things like the suicide video, and links to resources on the topic. In the parents group, it's the regular 'check your kids phones because this form in Y7 are passing around X on WhatsApp' or 'Y dodgy game is gaining popularity with Y9s'. I think there is a medium between riling people up about paedos (like with made up stats) & other horrors of gaming and what feels like lip service and constanting putting out of fires because of free access. I grew up with the latter since I was 7, and I don't think kids should have more unsupervised access online than they have unsupervised access outside (even living in a city), but I've long accepted I'm in the minority on that topic.

Yeah, most abuse happens in the home or with people we know well, but online communities can feel very known and close too which leads to the same dangers. It's not just the dodgy creepy guy online anymore that it's just the creepy guy on the corner or dodgy sports coach. Personally, I think things like should be shown, same with and similar at the appropriate ages and parents should be encouraged to watch them with their teens.

Plenty survived making really fucked up internet choices in the '90s-'00s, some thrived doing so, but some didn't, some face long-term consequences. That's reality, one we can hopefully learn from, and part of risk-assessment that I think needs to be taught. We can do that without catastrophizing or taking it to any extreme.

[quote PasstheBucket89]@ItsGoingTibiaK,, Its been well known a long time also education doesn't just mean school, a few years back they closed the legal loophole in which sports coaches could have relationships with students, as paedophiles exploited this loophole.[/quote]
Right. So you decided to illustrate your post about hysteria with a “well known” but baseless statistic that maligns the educational professions. Nice one.

Its not a baseless statistic, i said "like 60%" not definitely, its very well known that many people with sinister interest in children go into jobs with high access to children, do people really not grasp that? the American Athletics scandal is a good example of that. its sad but not surprising that someone who get riled up about it.