Can I ask for my money back?

[JimmyJabs]

I need some outside perspective on whether I'm being massively entitled and unreasonable here - I don't think I am, but I've been getting myself wound up about it and I might have lost sight of what's normal.

I have a cleaner who, until lockdown, was coming in once a week. I only have a small flat but I have a painful joint condition and I can't really use my hands properly to do a decent job of cleaning by myself. The cleaner was reliable and thorough, so when she was unable to keep coming because of Covid, I carried on paying her every week. I really wanted her to stay in business so she could come back, and I felt bad for her losing her income overnight. I've been wfh full time and was saving money on travel anyway, so although I'm not especially well off, I could afford to do this.

My cleaner was supposed to be going back to work from the beginning of July, but what with one thing and another, in all that time she's only been once. She keeps having family emergencies, or else her car breaks down, or her childminder lets her down, or she gets held up at another job. She always has a good reason but at the same time, it always seems to be me that misses out - she is obviously still going out to other jobs. I understand that I'm not a very lucrative customer, since it's only a small flat and it takes less than two hours. I just thought that I was worth a bit of loyalty since I paid her even though I got nothing out of it for several months (I stopped that when she was meant to start work again).

Today she has failed to turn up and hasn't even messaged to let me know she wasn't coming, so I'm definitely going to ask her to give my keys back and find another cleaner. I'm just wondering, though, if I have any recourse to all the money I paid out over lockdown. I don't want to be vindictive and I don't really need it back, but I did it on the understanding that I was helping her stay in business and that she'd eventually be returning. I feel a bit upset and taken advantage of, if I'm being honest. WWYD?

I sent her another message stating that I would like the courtesy of an acknowledgement and an assurance that she was sending the keys back. I laid it on a bit thick about how reasonable and patient I had been, which must have worked, as I got a reply saying she would return the keys at the weekend. We shall see, but at least I have something in writing that confirms she has the keys in the first place.

If it came to it, I could probably change the lock barrel myself, but would prefer it to be a last resort!

I’d change the barrel anyway. She could easily have had a copy cut.

Just change the locks. It sucks, but it's not difficult or expensive to get keys cut. Safer to change the locks.

I would change the locks for Safety op

OP I would change the locks anyway. She has clearly proven herself to not be a nice person end it is very inexpensive to get a key cut.

I would however still try and get my key back to prove a point. 😂

Yes, you're all right. I'll change the barrel of the Yale one. I'm just so annoyed that I'm having to incur yet another expense for no real benefit to myself because I was a naive, overly-trusting twit.

It was silly of you to pay her during lockdown. She wasn’t doing a job; there was no need for her to be paid, and it wasn’t the “right” thing for you to do.

I would insist on the keys back but change the locks anyway. She can’t be trusted.

I don't think you were naive and overly trusting. You handed over keys and paid in good faith because she did nothing butbprocev that she was trustworthy l, until she wasn't. Don't beat yourself up about that.

I think if the keys aren't forthcoming I'd send a very formal letter recorded delivery mentioning having taken legal advice you are asking for both return of the keys and of the retainer that you paid. You're unlikely to get either but you'd be within your rights to get strongly worded about both. Might make her less likely to mess somebody else about.

And do try to see her when she pops your keys back, and ask for return of your retainer or you'll be making what she's done public. Again, I doubt you'd see it but worth a bash.

I would then be posting on the Facebook groups for "advice" about a cleaner that you paid a lockdown retainer to. It's not libel if it's the truth, and her actions should have consequences.

You're not naive or a twit. You trusted someone to do their job and she's quite possibly started taking the piss. How were you to know that she would suddenly change because of a pandemic? Not like you knew the pandemic was going to happen and change people.

You can’t expect a refund on your generosity during lockdown, but please make sure she knows she will not get paid for cleaning if she doesn’t turn up. Let her know you really appreciate her as a cleaner and you really need her to start prioritising you, just as you did to her during lockdown. Basically guilt trip her. But don’t pay her for missed sessions.

Just to help you feel better here’s what happened to my friend: she paid her (not especially good or reliable) cleaner all through lockdown. Same as you she asked her to return in July and got various excuses. Eventually it transpired that the cheeky cow had moved to a completely different part of the country and had no intention of returning.

It doesn’t inspire the milk of human kindness.

NB my current cleaner doesn’t have keys at all but I appreciate that’s not always possible.

@MatildaTheCat

Just to help you feel better here’s what happened to my friend: she paid her (not especially good or reliable) cleaner all through lockdown. Same as you she asked her to return in July and got various excuses. Eventually it transpired that the cheeky cow had moved to a completely different part of the country and had no intention of returning.

It doesn’t inspire the milk of human kindness.

NB my current cleaner doesn’t have keys at all but I appreciate that’s not always possible.

Just why??? Why are some people so amoral and grabby?

I agree, Whitney168, there was a lot of guilt-tripping on MN in March/April time about how we should all be paying our cleaners for income lost. I think there's an element of inverse snobbery that hiring a cleaner in the first place is all a bit Lady Muck, but my hourly rate is actually less than hers and I only pay for the service because I'm not physically capable of doing it properly myself. Living in a clean home is one of the things that helps me maintain decent mental health so I do prioritise and place a lot of value on it. Perhaps one of the reasons I got taken advantage of!

I would stop paying now but no i doubt you can ask for a refund in what you paid her before