Is DH racist

[CAOIMHEBEHL]

DH is sri Lankan and has made a few comments in the past about white people, specifically about white middle aged men. I think this comes from when he was younger , he and his family lived in east London and received quite a bit of racist abuse.
My parents don't like him due to these comments and also the fact he wants our son to grow up in London rather than Scotland as it's more diverse.
They say he is racist. I am not sure ... Let's face it white middle class men do have the upper hand in society. Also he has many white friends and I am white scottish. He is v supportive of BLM and similar movements

Just my experience DonnaQuixotedelaManchester Where I live now and where my extended family come from (two very different parts of the country but both rural) people wouldn't be openly rude about it, in fact they would probably go out of their way to appear the opposite! It would definitely be talked about in hushed tones though. I've heard it time and time again.

This was a very homogenous country up until fairly recently and most of the people I'm referring to have little experience outside of their hometowns/villages so I can understand the mentality. It's changing for sure but very sloooooowly in some areas.

@DonnaQuixotedelaManchester London Irish are VASTLY Different in terms of attitudes and acceptance on certain issues compared to rural Ireland in my experience. My dads family is rural Ireland and the absolute uproar when my folks got married! In London you have so many different types of people, whereas as pp said, Ireland was largely homogenous for so long.

Even now in 2020 in my dads hometown there is still a lot of ‘chat’ when someone marries a person of colour. Nothing nasty in public, but I do wonder what they say at home.

Yes, I agree that there is a public voice that says one thing but other stuff gets said in ‘hushed tones’. Particularly when it gets too close to home.

I’ve just read my original post back and for the sake of clarity I meant racism wouldn’t be tolerated in the London Irish community I know. But then I wonder if any community is different with some knowing just not to say things rather than really thinking things through.

He's probably prejudiced which I probably am against the same group! He's not racist. Racism against white people isn't a thing. As racism is structural as well as about having prejudiced views about the demographic in question.

One of the reasons I live where I do is it is more culturally diverse than where I lived in my partners home town.

We are both white, does that make us racist against ourselves?

Depends what he is saying but if they are derogatory then yes he is racist,

Are you trying to frame your DH as racist rather than admit your parents are?
From both threads I’d say your parents are the issue and your deference to them.

Racial prejudices are currently seeing a revival thanks to the highly racialised thinking of the new woke left. Being divisive along racial, sex and class lines as many in this thread are is a huge step backwards in my opinion.
Sorry OP, your husband is probably not racist based on what you have said.