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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not let my 7 year old go in a baby swing at the park

19 replies

TinaTraybake · 20/09/2020 22:44

Today I was having a rough day and I lost my temper at my 7 year old in the park. My 2 year old was in the baby swing and I'd told my 7 year old that he could go on the other swings, not the baby swings after he'd already asked to go on them several times on the way to the park. I understand he wanted to be close to his brother but other people wanted to go on the swings and I had told him not to go on them several times. I turned around for one minute and when I turned back around, my son was in the baby swing laughing at me. I've been confronted before in parks for my son climbing on things he shouldn't be and I feel like he should know better and play nicely. I shouted at him in the park and he cried which I feel really bad about. I'm 6 months pregnant and I was feeling really overwhelmed today. I think I really overreacted but I think my son should have known better and listened to me. He is short for his age and has no problem getting in and out of them but in my opinion he is too old for them and needs to be on the other swings if he goes on them at all. Am I being unreasonable for telling him to stay out of the baby swings?

OP posts:

DelurkingAJ · 20/09/2020 22:46

With you all the way, OP. It used to drive me mad when much older DC were in them and my toddler couldn’t go on the swings when there were big kids swings free.

CherryPavlova · 20/09/2020 22:49

I’m pretty sure we used to go in baby swings as teenagers and some struggled to get out. We survived.
No, he shouldn’t ignore you. No he shouldn’t go in if little ones are wanting to use them but the going in the swing isn’t the problem. Disobedience and inconsiderate behaviour are the issue. You are right to rein those in.

FloreanFortescue · 20/09/2020 22:49

I'm going to say this in the nicest possible way, but it sounds like you went way OTT and the pregnancy I'm sure will have been a factor of losing your rag! You're right, the older swings are the right ones but there's no harm in using the baby ones. I can't imagine a 7 year old would be interested in using them for more than a minute while the novelty wears off!

Perhaps try a bit of a debrief with your kid - tell them you overreacted but that you were very clear in your instruction not to use the baby swings. The main reason being that other children who cannot use the big swings were waiting a long time to use the ones that are designed for them. A 7 year old is capable of understanding that its unpleasant to wait and they're causing the delay!

NailsNeedDoing · 20/09/2020 22:52

If he’s still the right size for them I think he should be allowed a fair turn the same as every other child. It’s not up to us to stifle how children naturally want to play. But that said, I can see where you were coming from after you’d said no, and it’s so easy to get overwhelmed become snappy at times. Don’t be too hard on yourself, but also realise that it really isn’t doing any harm for your son to use whatever swing he wants.

purpleme12 · 20/09/2020 22:52

I let my almost 7 year old go in the baby swing

But I wouldn't if someone was waiting for them no

Otherwise if they're not going to get stuck it's just a bit of fun

Original poster

TinaTraybake · 20/09/2020 22:52

@CherryPavlova I remember me and my friends going in the baby swings for a laugh when we were teenagers but we lived round the corner from a tiny playground that was always empty. If there was nobody else in the park and he had a good attitude I maybe would have let him but it's the fact that there were other people in the park and he was being disobedient that upset me

OP posts:

WorraLiberty · 20/09/2020 22:54

You told him no several times

He not only ignored you but he sat there laughing at you

Hell no, you shouldn't feel guilty for shouting at him.

I know raising your voice to kids makes you one step down from Cruella De Vil on Mumsnet, but in real life parents scold their kids.

TheDuchessofMalfy · 20/09/2020 23:00

I think you were wrong to shout at him. I mean we’ve all picked the wrong battles before, and it must be tough with two still young and being pregnant with your third.

I don’t think I’d object to my 6yo ds going in the baby swings tbh, unless there were babies (and their parents!) coming along and having to wait. But it’s mainly because I know he’ll get sick of them really quickly!

RealityExistsInTheHumanMind · 20/09/2020 23:00

I would say totally ignore the pp who said you overreacted.

He disobeyed and then cried when you told him off. Crocodile tears, he knows, at 7, how to get to you.

There needs to be defined consequences for disobedience. Consequences defined before you go.

"When we get back from the park you can ...(reward tv, tablet, biscuit, whatever), if you disobey then when we get home you will not have xxx. And make sure you stick to it.

Quaagars · 20/09/2020 23:46

@WorraLiberty

You told him no several times

He not only ignored you but he sat there laughing at you

Hell no, you shouldn't feel guilty for shouting at him.

I know raising your voice to kids makes you one step down from Cruella De Vil on Mumsnet, but in real life parents scold their kids.

This I sympathise, I have two now older kids but this is exactly what my 7 yr old would have done in this scenario! He was told no There were people waiting to go on, there were other equipment available for him more his age. It's really hard with an age gap when it comes to stuff like this but you have to (general you) employ common sense and rules

Feelingconfused2020 · 20/09/2020 23:52

I have children the same ages as you. If there was no-one waiting I would let my DD(7) go. If there are people waiting I would say no. She's old enough to understand than an actual baby/toddler gets priority.

My dd1 loves her sister dearly but sometimes has a little bit of an issue with not being the baby anymore (she's the middle one now) so.ive learnt to sometimes indulge her but only if it's appropriate.

greenteafiend · 21/09/2020 02:09

My niece used to think it was super funny to get into the baby swings at advanced ages--until she got stuck! I still have memories of her yelling in panic as she flailed her giraffe like limbs trying to free herself (yes, we did help her out.... after waiting a minute or so...!)

Never again!

Bikingbear · 21/09/2020 02:27

Op I think you over reacted. He's 7, I don't think he really wanted to go in a baby swing, he wanted to be with his mum and sibling. Who wants to go away and play on their own?

Hes possibly feeling pushed out for little sibling and their is a baby about to turn everything upside down. Cut him some slack.

Original poster

TinaTraybake · 21/09/2020 07:51

I didn't mention that my 9 year old DD was also with us at the park but she was playing on a climbing frame with another girl at the time when my son was misbehaving. I was pushing my toddler on the baby swings and the other swings were right by us. There was also other equipment close to us that he could of played on and I just feel like maybe he was trying to push my buttons.

OP posts:

Emeraldshamrock · 21/09/2020 07:56

If it was a busy day I agree with you. Like a pp as a teenager we squeezed ourselves in once or twice.

SuzieQQQ · 21/09/2020 08:41

He’s far too old for baby swings. Good on you Op!

Kanaloa · 21/09/2020 09:28

I agree that the baby swing isn’t the issue. It’s more that you told him not to do something several times and he then did it and laughed at you. He is seven years old so should know better than to ignore what his mum has asked him to do then laugh at her.

If he cried because he’d been told off I wouldn’t feel too bad. Obviously it’s never nice to see your child cry but in future he might listen to what he’s been asked to do. I don’t think you can indulge this kind if behaviour although I agree he might be feeling a bit jealous. Children need to learn how to confront and deal with these feelings, rather than just being indulged. Letting him play in a baby swing after being told no while actual babies are waiting would have been wrong.

midnightstar66 · 21/09/2020 10:12

You told him no several times

He not only ignored you but he sat there laughing at you
*
Hell no, you shouldn't feel guilty for shouting at him.

I know raising your voice to kids makes you one step down from Cruella De Vil on Mumsnet, but in real life parents scold their kids.*

This! Ok maybe he still fits (my 7 year old would probably get stuck) but the point of them is for safety for those not able to support themselves on a standard swing. You were absolutely in the right if others were in the park and the fact that he laughed shows he was just pushing your buttons. Don't feel guilty OP.

SunbathingDragon · 21/09/2020 10:15

As long as no other child wanted to go on it, I don’t see the issue with an older child on the baby/toddler swing. However, you made the decision he couldn’t go on and he didn’t listen which is the issue. He’s old enough to listen and obey but I’d say to choose your battles and a baby swing wouldn’t be one I’d opt for.

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