All these threads about genetics have got me thinking. My family member (not immediate family but still close relationship) found out when in their that they are adopted and are now their sixties. I'll call them M. M was adopted by their grandparents and had no inclination that the person they thought was their sister is actually their mum until later on. She gave birth as a teenager just as the family moved house so people in their new neighbourhood never suspected and always kept the identity of the father to herself she died six years ago. The relationship with the "sister" has always been fractious as she got married (to a different man 12 months later) subsequently having two more children only one of them now being aware that M is their sibling. M has always felt like the family secret.
M's adoptive mother (grandmother) has mentioned the name of a lad of his birth mums age who was she was hanging around with at the time and mentioned that she has always thought that he is the father of M. M is aware of this name but is not so tech savvy. I know M would like to know who their birth father is but we have never had any conversation about what would happen if the did find out in terms of relationship.
I have googled the name and the specific area where the family lived at the time, its not an unusual surname but not common. I found a man of about the right age who is pretty well known (his address telephone number and family details including his son's names are very publicly mentioned.) This man looks scarily like M especially as the picture was taken some time ago.
I have looked up the sons and have been shocked as they are extremely like M looked at that age. The youngest of the two sons even has the same health condition and disability as M although this could be a coincidence but my gut instinct tells me I have the right man.
If this man is M's father he would have no knowledge that he has another child and his wife and younger children would not either. If I was M's position I would want to know but im in two minds. This could really upset the sons and wife. I thought maybe if M did want to know he could call the number and ask to speak to the man and ask if he had ever known anyone with his "sisters" name and take it from there. There is no email address on the contact details and a letter could get into the wrong hands. Would you leave it and never mention it or fess up.?