Age gaps...

[goldielox]

AIBU to start trying for my next baby only a few months after giving birth?

Please let me know your opinions!
Pro's, Con's... any advice? xx

Really not great for your body, especially if you had a c section.

Age gap wise, well there are pros and cons like with every age gap. It will be absolutely exhausting for a while especially if your second is not an easy baby (I’m guessing your first is quite easy if you are even considering this ) or your first baby turns out to have sleep regressions or be a nightmare teether or turns into a very demanding toddler. Unless you can shell out for help or have a lot of family help.

On the other hand there are pros to a small age gap, if you are only planning 2 children then you get the terrible sleep and naps and nappies etc all done in one go, you have only disrupted your work once, there is more chance they will play together and enjoy the same kind of outings.

Personally however I think a c. 2-3 year age gap gives these benefits whilst also allowing your body and life a bit more time to recover.

The stats do suggest it's better to wait at least 6 months and 12 months or more is better. But plenty of people do have back to back pregnancies. What sort of pregnancy/birth/recovery have you had? If it was plain sailing then maybe it'll be fine for you .

My first thought was, is this how you felt pre-pregnancy / whilst pregnant? I know a lot of women (myself included), start to get really broody a few months after giving birth. For me, it hit around the 4-7 month mark and then eased off.

The only other thought I had is to just make sure you and your partner are 100% on the same page cause it's likely to be a really tough couple of years. However, if you both want it then I'm sure you'll make it work.

What’s the rush?

Is it your first? Broodiness is very common but does not mean it should happen.

Increases chance of miscarriage and premature birth.

I wouldn’t do this personally. It seems fine thinking about having two kids close in age, say a 6 and 7 year old. But I don’t think it would be so easy having a 1 year old and a newborn.

Of course lots of people do it and manage but I think it would be really difficult and exhausting to give a 1 year old (still really a baby) all the attention they need while caring for a newborn baby. It’s different with a 4/5 year old or older as they have better understanding and can usually occupy themselves for a short time. A baby or toddler can’t do this.

What @minipie said. I had an easy pregnancy and straightforward vaginal birth first time, but this is pregnancy, 21 months later, I’ve had really bad anaemia which the midwife says is likely caused by not recovering sufficiently from my first birth and breastfeeding.

DH has a 12 month gap with his sibling (accidental) and MIL says she feels guilty that he didn’t have more time with her alone, and she wishes she’d had time to cherish his babyhood a bit more.

I have gaps of between 17 months and 4 years. There are no good or bad age gaps. Having an extra child is hard no matter what their age is as they go through diff stages. If u was honest the two year age gap was my hardest. Potty training and a newborn 😱. Your body needs time to recover after a baby. Personally straight after to me is too soon. Give your self time to heal.

I'm currently pregnant with my second, my daughter is 22 months so will be 2.5 years when baby is born ( fingers crossed all goes well). I am looking forward to it but I had completely forgotten how ill I was whilst I was pregnant the 1st time. I feel so guilty that I just don't have the energy at the moment to play with my daughter in the way that she expects. I feel so sick all the time and she just wants to climb all over me. She is able to play with her toys independently for 5-10mins so I can lay on the sofa on and off.

I know I would have really struggled being pregnant with a young baby that needs constant attention. But as others have said I think there are pros and cons for all age gaps and if you had an straight forward 1st pregnancy and and 'easy' baby and it is right for you and your partner then go for it.