To wish my mum and dad would stop offering help and not following through with it

[Guys753]

My husband works away long periods of time - 8-10 weeks at a time usually and home for around 3/4 weeks.

While he’s away I really struggle with the kids, they are 6&3. They aren’t bad kids but it’s absolutely non stop, I also work part time too.

A couple of weeks ago they told me they would take the kids overnight on a Friday to help me out (it’s never been brought up again since)

They said when my eldest started preschool a few years ago they would watch her 1 night a week so I didn’t have to make the trip in the morning with my youngest, then a baby (never happened once)

If I have an appointment they tell me they can manage weeks in advance and then a few days before hand ask me what my plans are for childcare for my appointment and act like they know nothing about it

Sorry, I think I’m just needing abit of a rant.

If they never offered I wouldn’t be angry about it, but it’s because they bring it up and I actually get excited for some peace. It’s been between 1.5/2 years since both kids went away for a sleepover and I was able to relax in the house in peace. I just wish they would help me out more, especially as I’m on my own a lot of the time.

Can't you get a fixed date out of them when they offer?

Do you pin down arrangements when they offer?

"We can take the kids one Friday evening if you like?"

"That would be great, thanks. Shall I drop them at 6pm on x date?"

Why not just ask them? They have offered a Friday night, so next time you see them, just say is that offer of having the kids on a Friday night still on offer? If so, can we make arrangements and pick a day.

If you wait to be offered the details on everything, you will clearly be waiting a long time

Years ago when my children were small, I was in a babysitting group. Each month one of us had the diary. The others would phone and ask for a sitter for a specific night. The Diary one would phone round and fix it up. A record was kept of the hours each person did the babysitting and then they could have a sitter for the same number of hours. Sometimes someone would be in credit, sometimes debt but on average it worked out. Once a month we all met for an evening at someone's house and hand the diary over to the next person. About 10 of us. Worked well.

YANBU. Next time they 'offer to help' tell them 'no thanks, you never follow through with it.'

Do they have phones? I’d send reminders to add into google calendar personally.

For whatever reason they make all the right noises but don't deliver. I'd stop taking anything they say seriously & make your own arrangements. Maybe they're people pleasers so make the offer, but then think actually, i don't want to,why on earth did I offer, so 'forget'.