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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

12 year old DS just wants to be with me

1 reply

Midlifelights · 20/09/2020 06:09

I am really worried about my DS- lockdown hit him hard & he’s lost all his confidence. I am particularly worried about friends for him. He’s always had a close circle of friends but they seem to be drifting as he doesn’t want to contact anyone to arrange things himself.

He’s in a massive secondary & finds that pretty overwhelming although he likes the school.

He just wants to be with me at the moment which is obviously lovely but I am worried he’ll become more isolated from his friends too. His friends go out to the park a lot etc & I worry DS is getting left behind.

I managed to get him some emotional health support from the local wellbeing team after lockdown so they have been giving him techniques for when he feels sad etc which is good. He’s also in a footy team & scouts so has stuff out of school.

It’s just socially he seems to be struggling- it’s such an awkward age too.

Aibu to worry or should I let it play out. He saw mates yesterday but that’s because I am friends with the mum & she invited us to the park for an hour so he went (within the rule of 6) but he wouldn’t have organised it himself.

The mum said that her son arranges his own social life now but my DS has no confidence to do that.

Aibu to worry?

OP posts:
ilovepuppies2019 · 20/09/2020 06:50

I feel for son OP, lockdown has been a huge change. It's great that he's getting some support through the school. Is he back at school yet? If so then this might help over a bit of time as he'll be socialising without you for a few hours a day. Hopefully he'll ease back into things. 12 is still young and some kids at the age just aren't that bothered about social events. Did he organise his own things pre-covid? Or was it always others? You might be able to support him by suggesting specific ideas that he could invite others to and encouraging him to send a message to Bob and Harry to do X. If he finds that anxiety inducing then maybe keep the events short and close to home or drop him off and make a time to pick him back up so he has some certainty. Hopefully after he's reconnected with his friends, it will all come back naturally. Best wishes to you and your DS.

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