Edgelord

[sweetnsaltypopcorn]

My DD has just turned 13 and has changed completely. She used to love pretty dresses, horse riding and drawing. Now she's wearing weird black clothes and listening to awful music. I know she's a teen and going through a phase but I don't know who she is any more. Any advice?

Normal

Yes, totally normal. You can shorten the phase by showing approval of it.

Goths are cute

Congratulations! You’ve raised a teenager. She obviously feels confident in exploring her identity and trying new things. You’ve clearly given her the tools to think for herself (even if she’s dressing exactly like all the other girls she knows!) and not to be afraid of not conforming to stereotypes. This is all very normal and healthy.

One day she’ll have tried plenty of different identities on and found the one which feels right. All you have to do is keep loving her in the meantime. She’ll always be your daughter. And when she needs you, you’ll be there and she knows that.

Oh thanks Alice, I asked her if she was goth and she yelled at me haha. I don't know what's happened, but I think she thinks goth is an offensive term.

She's experimenting with who she wants to be - let her get on with it unless it's something totally unacceptable.
The best reaction is none at all.
At the same age, dc1 dyed their hair black. The only reason I said anything was that they had managed to dye the bathroom grouting and had dripped it on the landing carpet..... That took some shifting!

She's asking to go to a my chemical romance concert with her 15 year old boyfriend,it's 2 hours away. Should I let her?

I wouldn’t be keen on a 15 year old boyfriend. That’s the only part of this I’d have any concern about. Why are you allowing that, at 13? In any case, you can just say ‘now to her going to the gig at that age.

MCR are touring again? Is this for next year? Tell her she can have tickets for her Christmas present and decide who she wants to take nearer the time.

Edgelord does not mean what you think it means.

Funny what does it mean?

Her boyfriend is the son of my best friend and they've been best mates since they were nine. He's a lovely boy but we keep a close eye on them

Please don’t call her an edgelord to her face 😂

This thread is weird.

I started liking black clothes at six and punk/alt music at 10. I still love it and see no reason to change at almost 40. My mother is a bit like you and still hates it.
YABU to let her to see MCR, but only cos they are not the best. So many better cool bands out there that you'll disapprove of even more. :D

Edgelord is a bit like Emo from what I gather. I feel like an old has been now.

Sure she is.

Thanks Stormy,I didn't say I hated it, I just asked for advice. But well done not having changed since you were 6.

I think edgelord means a person who deliberately says dark/disturbing things in order to shock. It's not a compliment, and afaik not a subculture.

No school uniforms where we live, so my 15yo DD went to school in a Korean Star Wars t-shirt, mini skirt, fishnets, legwarmers, armwarmers and trainers today. I think she is aiming for Punk. I'm not even trying to object anymore as long as major bits are reasonably covered. All her friends are experimenting like this. Perfectly normal teenagers.

DD is currently trying to convince me that she needs to go to a The Neighbourhood concert a 2-hour train ride away. But restrictions are that all under-16s have to be accompanied by an adult (and neither my husband nor I feel any desire to go), so that's a No. Are there similar restrictions for the venue your DD wants to go to?