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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Would you challenge this further or just leave?

5 replies

TheSunshineTrain · 19/09/2020 17:44

name change as my username has my name- but I am a regular poster!

I started a job a year ago- that has always been home based, apart from meeting with manager every so many weeks- since then, this has now become everyday meetings via zoom (which is fine as I like having colleagues of some sort).

The problem is that I believe my manager is favorably treating another colleague over me. Essentially there are three of us in a team, my manager, another colleague and me. Other colleague started a month before me, manager has been there six years. This company has a high turnover of staff (found out since I started).

My manager requests we join her for a morning zoom call everyday at 9am to go through the plan for the day. In the past six months, I have been late on the zoom call twice

9:06 one day as my charger had broken and 9:15 another time as my partner had tried to commit suicide the night before and we'd spent the night in A/E. Manager reported both instances to HR straight away, which is fair enough and I do not dispute that I was tardy and have not made the mistake since.

I did explain to my manager both times and her answer was simple ''There are no extenuating circumstances- its tough luck''. I was told that if I was to leave this would be included on my reference- again, fine.

The issue is that the other colleague has been late so many times, around 30 in total- including 2 this week where he did not turn up for the morning call at all. Manager was ringing him and asking me if I knew where he was etc and I said no- turns out he had overslept twice!

I wondered how other colleague was still here since he's been late so many times and he openly admitted to me that he's never been reported to HR at all for his lateness. I believe him as he seemed genuinely confused when I brought it up in conversation- and there is a three strike policy, so he'd definitely be gone.

I spoke to my manager about this, and highlighted that it felt unfair and she told me to essentially mind my own business, and what other staff do is none of my concern and not to undermine her. In the end, it really got me down as I've begun looking for other jobs and i'm aware that mine will be on my reference. I spoke to my managers manager about my feelings towards this and she again said I should mind my own and she cannot discuss other staff members.

Perhaps I should mind my own, I'm not sure, it just feels incredibly unfair. Manager has always been a bit more tight on me with deadlines etc and lenient with other person when we've been completing the same work.

Thanks if you made it to the end!

OP posts:
Gizlotsmum · 19/09/2020 17:47

Maybe take it to HR? Ask to see the policy where lateness is required to be reported? When they don't have one raise it with them about the inequality.

trying4number2 · 19/09/2020 17:48

Holy shit girl! Have you got a union ? Or can you get into a union ? I suggest you do straight away,the low membership fees are so worth it!
This isn't correct and needs to be addressed. The union will soon make her change her mind when some of that power is stripped back.
It's happened to my partner and his boss dare not behave like that anymore as there would be a court case looming soon after

yeOldeTrout · 19/09/2020 17:48

(if you are entirely sure of the facts) I dunno if it's gutless but I'd just look for another job.

TheSunshineTrain · 19/09/2020 17:49

I was only concerned because I'm in probation still (extended due to covid not for performance) so wasn't sure if I'd have a leg to stand on, and i took it higher to her manager and still got ignored!

OP posts:
MrsPinkCock · 19/09/2020 17:54

She’s a terrible manager. We’ve all had them.

Unfortunately you can’t argue with stupid!

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