A drain on the household?

[smileyfacestar]

Just wanted some perspective. I currently work 28 hours over two part time jobs. DH gets updates for jobs in my field ( and his) he says this is normal and everyone does it in case something better is out there. Today he got an alert for a job for me. He asked me if I was interested but I wasn't enthusiastic although was looking at the details. He said it would mean I could contribute more to mortgage etc and we could manage with one car. He said at the moment I'm a drain on the household. I'm out walking the dog now because I feel quite hurt by this and he's annoyed and thinks I cant have an adult conversation. I haven't stormed out, just left calmly but he knows I'm upset. For context, he earns a great deal more than me and we'd agreed i would pay a certain smount from my credit card each month (which I am).

It was rude to say this. But I definitely think you need to give more details so people can reply in a more informed way.

Are you coming back with an update, OP?

you are not a drain as you are contributing.I think you need to explore what is going on here. Is he expecting you to live a more champagne life styl (to match his) is he contributing more to the household than you - ie the norm is if there are sep finances you contribute proportionately.

28hrs is a 4 day week - what are you using the other day for? If you are like any other woman its the shopping, cleaning and house related stuff. If you do work more hours then is he prepared to contribute physically or financially for someone else to be doing that?

He sounds frustrated that you don't earn as much as him - is there ever the potential for that to happen? Is he being realistic about that. Is there a reason you work less/have two part time roles etc other than it spreads risk in these uncertain times which seems a little odd.

What he said was nasty and hurtful. There were other ways to word how he feels.

From what I can see you’ve not asked for our opinions on how many hours you work though.

I read it as op was using CC to pay her share of household income

I was married to a man who considered him working to be optional and it pissed me off big time. I expected him to work full time and contribute to Bill's, pensions, mortgage etc etc. We eventually divorced because I was sick of his attitude.

That’s one long walk to take, or are you avoiding answering the questions.

If you can work part time and are choosing not to, you are a drain on the household.

*work full time.

Sorry fir being thick but are you actually using your credit I’d card to pay your way each month! And if so, how is increased debt helpful? Or are you paying off your credit card debt each month?

I wouldn't care what the circumstances were, that is no way to speak to the person you're supposed to love.

If you're using the extra hours you gain by not working FT, to contribute to the household in other ways eg doing all the housework, looking after children or doing all the school runs etc then you're not a 'drain' because you're contributing in ways that if you outsourced them would be a financial hit. If you have no kids, split housework 50 50 and pay proportionately to bills so he is subsidising you then maybe he has a point...but it's hard to say from the info you've posted