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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if 26 is too old for halls

66 replies

thedaywewillremeber · 19/09/2020 11:45

Ds1 has decided to defer another year as he doesn’t want to attend university as he feels he won’t cope at the moment. He would like to go into halls so he can live independently before properly moving out.

OP posts:
CoronaIsWatching · 19/09/2020 11:46

I think a houseshare would be better. When I was at uni, most people in their first year went to halls then moved into houseshares in their second years. Therefore most in halls were around 18/19

zafferana · 19/09/2020 11:47

Personally, I would say yes. Halls are great for students who are young and away from home for the first time and want to meet lots of others. For older students or those who've already been away from home for some time (boarding school, for instance, and/or a gap year of travel and living away from home), a shared flat is much better. I fall into the latter group and HATED halls. Full of 18-year-olds crying (the first week), then going crazy (thereafter), yelling and running up and down the corridors half the night. Drove me bonkers. I soon moved into a shared flat with others who felt the same.

GoldfishParade · 19/09/2020 11:47

Halls are better for younger people they could get on his nerves. A houseshare is better

CanIHelpYou · 19/09/2020 11:48

I guess it depends on what kind of 26 year old he is?

I was married with a child on the way at 26 so yes it would have felt too old for me. However, I also know some others who would still have been okay with hall life at that point mostly men tbh 🤷‍♀️

turkeyboots · 19/09/2020 11:49

Do they have a mature students hall? There was one when I was at uni many many years ago

NameChange9824 · 19/09/2020 11:49

I'd say definitely too young. At my university, kids who had had a gap year (so, 19+) got put in shared flats as it was felt they were a bit too old for halls. He'd be surrounded by teenagers.

NameChange9824 · 19/09/2020 11:50

Oops! I meant too old. Stupid fingers.

Cakeandslippers · 19/09/2020 11:52

Agree with other posters but worth looking into if the uni has a specific halls for mature students (usually over 21), as this might be the answer.

I think when I was 18 and in halls I'd have struggled to know how to interact with a 26 year old.

ToastyCrumpet · 19/09/2020 11:53

My first year in a uni-run house there was one 23 yo and the rest of us teens. It didn’t work, basically. She tried to boss us and we loathed her. Mature students would be ether for him.

ToastyCrumpet · 19/09/2020 11:53

*better

Dionysus78 · 19/09/2020 11:53

I lived in halls for a term when I started university at 27. It was hell. I had plenty of 18/19 year old friends from my course who were perfectly mature, but I had bad luck with the hall I ended up in. A lot of the students there were cliquey and bitchy. I ended up living with my parents and commuting.

LouHotel · 19/09/2020 11:55

I was 22 when I went to uni and maturity compared to 18 year olds was striking. By year 3 this gap was smaller.

I would suggest he looks at a self contained flat or shared house.

ItsReallyOnlyMe · 19/09/2020 11:56

Is there a hall specifically for post grads - it may suit his age better ?

Generally, I think it depends if he minds socialising with 18 years olds or not. They may be immature for him.

When I was at uni - back in the 80's there was a lady in her 40's on our corridor. ( I thought she was ancient !) She was from Iceland and had left her two children and a husband there - she was just doing a year (which in reality is 9 months) on a specialised course which presumably she couldn't do in Iceland. Everyone was really nice to her - and she to us - but she didn't socialise with the other students.

KetoPenguin · 19/09/2020 12:01

If he is not coping well would the OU be better and stay at home, maybe get a part time job and end up with way less debt.

AlrightTreacle · 19/09/2020 12:06

I lived in halls for my first year with 4 other teenagers and one 27 year old. He hated living with a bunch of 18/19 year olds, and moved into a studio in second year. When I got to 27 I couldn't think of anything worse than living with a group of teenag strangers either tbh. Will your son enjoy potentially (most likely) living with a group of nocturnal, noisy, emotional teenagers? I loved it at 18, would have hated it at 26.

GreatestShowUnicorn · 19/09/2020 12:06

I’d ask if the uni has mature student halls. Have you posted about this before? Does he have ASD?

movingonup20 · 19/09/2020 12:08

Most universities have blocks set aside for mature students, masters and PhDs. Dd is 22 and going into one next week- unlike the main halls they only share 2 to a flat and have a noise policy

DrDreReturns · 19/09/2020 12:09

When I was in hall (I was 18) there was a 30 year old in the room next to me. He thought it was OK. Personally I wouldn't have liked it at his age though.

AintNobodyHereButUsKittens · 19/09/2020 12:13

Depends whether he can get an appropriate house share. A house share with teenagers would be far worse than sharing halls with them I’d have thought.

Original poster
thedaywewillremeber · 19/09/2020 12:15

I have yes but now he will be a year older and a know a year isn’t a lot in the grand scheme of life but it does change peoples views sometimes.

OP posts:
KarlKennedysDurianFruit · 19/09/2020 12:15

It depends on the set up, I went to an old collegiate uni so in 'halls' in first year (including a 31 year old mature student but he was up for all the socialising etc) only 16 in our whole building but shared bathrooms, small kitchens as we were catered. I moved out for years 2&3 with friends which is what most people did, then because I was there for 4 years the people I lived with were graduating in the main and I had friends in other years before but as a finalist wanted some space and quiet if needed. I moved back into halls but in a more modern set up, huge building but the corridors were sectioned off into flats of five rooms, each was en suite with a modern pod type bathroom, we had a large communal living room/dining room/kitchen with a shared laundry downstairs and were all self catered, there was a mix of ages. It depends on what he wants from his experience

Miriel · 19/09/2020 12:16

Definitely too old for regular halls. Mature student halls would probably be okay, if the university has them.

I went to university at 28 and would never have considered sharing with 18-year-olds. It would have driven me mad (and I don't imagine they'd have liked me much either)!

ivfbeenbusy · 19/09/2020 12:21

I'd say it's too old too. Personally I'd feel uncomfortable with a 26 year old man in halls with 18 year olds

holdmysocks · 19/09/2020 12:28

When I went, they placed all the olders together. I don't think they would chuck him in with a group of 18 year olds.

ZeldaSmelda · 19/09/2020 12:30

My best friend at uni was 25 when she moved into halls. It was a bit of a shock to the system for her but she fully embraced the whole fresher thing and had a blast. If she’d have gotten a flat alone or a house share her experience would have been totally different and many years later we are still in touch and talk/laugh about our time at uni