To be terrified of another national lockdown **Trigger Warning**

[Noti23]

I don’t think I can cope with another one. I’ve been through some challenges before so I’m not some over emotional snowflake, E.g. was raped and went to high court (was told I was asking for it), cheated on, very close family member has schizophrenia (the last few years have been awful). But lockdown presented the worst time of my life. My dad died of Covid and I couldn’t access any family support while caring for my toddler. I’m in my early 20s and I honestly didn’t think I’d make it to my mid twenties during this time. I felt so hopeless, I buried myself in alcohol. I am prone to low moods anyway but the level of hopelessness and depression I felt pushed me over the edge.

I’m terrified of being taken back to this place. As soon as i could see my family I felt better. Does anyone understand where I’m coming from? I can’t cope anymore

I've already decided if there's another lockdown I'm going to see my family. I work at home all day alone, won't see my friends and I need something to cheer me up.

They only live round the corner so it's not like I'd be travelling across the country to do it.

This is all so hard isn't it OP? There has been so dreadful stuff written about people who are struggling but for what it's worth I think it sounds like you are enormously strong for surviving what you have, so you hold your head high. This is a scary situation and the media have consistently been spreading fear (I know it's a serious situation but there has been constant speculation about the worst case scenario all through this). It is completely natural to be struggling. Humans aren't meant to be forcibly kept apart for weeks on end and you have a toddler too so frankly you've been superhuman coping up to this point. Give yourself lots of credit for the fact you've survived it all please.

Personally, I'd say take heart from the fact there are many thousands of people who feel the same way you do, me included, and we will all stick together through this even if just virtually. I promise you you are very unlikely to get fined if you see your family in that you are vulnerable. You matter too. Day at a time for now and try to keep away from the news. As awful as this all is, pandemics do pass so it's a case of trying to get yourself through it however you can and then life will open up again and there will be much happier times ahead. I'm very sorry you lost your dad. That's very hard in itself.

@Noti23 - how does your doctor suggest you deal with this?

We don't know at this stage for sure, because it is undecided, but as far as I can tell it is only going to be circuit breaker lockdown just for two weeks to try and slow the spread, not the months on end it was last time. At the moment there are no plans to make it longer, and hopefully this will work.

Go and spend all weekend with your family now; and continue to see them if you need during the lockdown, as a support bubble. Your mental health is very important, and I am so sorry you have been through so much already. No police officer in the world is going to fine you given the circumstances.

If you can possibly why not make a plan for those two weeks just in case? Download box sets, buy some delicious food, make a menu, take baths, include outdoor places you would like to walk to. Try to see it as something restful and positive rather than something looming. I know that is easy for me to say, and it might not be possible for you given your circumstances. Positively embracing, planning and feeling organised will help you feel more steady and stable, and talking to your GP so they can offer you some proper medical advice as well.

Look after you.

I’m sorry you’ve been through so much.

The idea of another lockdown feels me with dread too

If possible, can you add a trigger warning because your post suddenly mentions rape with no warning which is very triggering to some.

Yes that is a good point, it shocked me to suddenly read that too. OP can you ask for a trigger warning in the title?

I don't know if there are any mental health services running at the moment, but could you call one and they might be able to advise you. E.g do some things in advance to prevent it getting overwhelming, like many have suggested isolating with someone else for example.

Given the police apparently have not got the resources to investigate (or even visit) burglaries and even assaults sometimes, I fail to see how they will have the time to swan around fining people a hundred quid for daring to see their parents

But they did, didn't they? They wer sitting in laybys pulling people over and asking where they were going,; they've also got a "dispersal order" in place in my town (yet can't investigate burglaries or hit and run incidents).

However, if you are seeing family for care reasons you can't be fined. And I doubt that they will ban childcare by family this time as they still people to go to work and pay tax. It won't be a lockdown like the last one, it would be more about stopping people going out to pubs and bars and "mingling" inside.

If you know you will struggle badly under another lockdown, you need to put plans in place now to mitigate its effects. What were the worst things, and what can you do to minimise their impact?