AIBU to be utterly fed up with the AIBU board being a dumping ground for any old thread?

[SummaLuvin]

I have been a user of Mumsnet for a number of years, and although this has always been a problem I have noticed it get worse and worse recently.

Though there are a large number of smaller, topic-specific boards a growing amount of Mumsnet users are choosing to ignore this in favour of posting in AIBU or Chat for ‘traffic’. This is a cyclical problem, users guarantee that these smaller boards will be irrelevant, unused, and garner no traffic they don’t post in them them, and it also clogs up other boards with nonsense that does not belong there and cements those ones as the few that are used. Over the last 24hours in AIBU I have seen product reviews, requests for weight-loss advice, and wedding dress ideas, and many more I won’t bother to list. Valid threads, but they have nothing to do with AIBU.

Mumsnet do not seem to police the flagrant misuse of boards, and frankly I am getting fed up. (Yes I acknowledge that, ultimately, this post adds to the problem.)

AIBU ,especially lately, is the last place I'd direct someone vulnerable. In fact it's always been the case that vulnerable posters' threads are moved out of AIBU to the section they will be most supported.

Again, plenty do choose to post there, so it’s not for you to decide where they post.

What a surprise that you deliberately misread so you could reply within 4 posts and try to cause an argument MN AIBU bingo. I win!
I refer you to my previous post which answers your question. I'm not going to reply to you again. It's no fun when the pattern is so obvious and it definitely doesn't help the thread. Go well as some people like to say

@MardyBra

Yanbu. People who put non AIBUs on AIBU are cf queue jumpers.

I'm a proper old time MN gimmer, and this is so true I'm in physical pain.

AIBU used to be for when you genuinely didn't know if YWBU - and it ran alongside WWYD quite comfortably. Sometimes you got your arse handed to you, but for the most part, people actually gave advice/opinions without being actively nasty when someone had a dilemma. Now it's 'AIBU to ask you what sandwich filling you like best? AIBU to ask for supermarket voucher codes? AIBU to say I don't drink tea?'

In the meantime, all the other subforums wither & die... and so everyone starts posting in AIBU 'for traffic'. I am aware I am being a hypocrite to post on a thread in AIBU btw.

@MeridaTheBold what a surprise that when you’ve lost the argument you start making vague accusations of having misread posts and referring to previous posts.

Since I never addressed any posts to you and you’re the one that posted to me, I really couldn’t give a crap if you respond to me.

Go well Merida. Clearly AIBU is the not the place for you.

If you want to picture yourself as the forum police and rant, go for it. No one really cares.

If I want to post in YABU about my guinea pigs or the best way to remove pen stains from my kids school shirts, I will too. Ignore me or don't ignore me, I don't care, someone else will come up with the answer I am looking for...

I mean, you could ask for an instant ban for posting in the wrong category... how long would you like to be excluded for

YANBU at all.

It's very annoying to see a list of threads which are so awkwardly titled just to try and shoehorn an AIBU in there with the most tenuous connection.

"AIBU to not like this TV show"

"AIBU to not want to stick hot forks in my eyes"

"AIBU to ask..." - this is the worst fucking one.

No you're not being fucking unreasonable but you are being fucking annoying.

cf queue jumpers
This describes them perfectly! Some are also of the 'start a fight in an empty house' persuasion.
Maybe us oldies just need to leave the kids to jump about, pretend they're edgy, shout, invite their non-MN friends round... whilst we loiter in the quieter, more dignified threads sipping gin, eating the nice chocolate and waiting for them to get bored and leave.

Is there a MIL board ? There should be MIL support board

For MILs? Or to support people complaining about them?

@sadeyedladyofthelowlandsea has perfectly and succinctly said what I have been trying to, particularly about the sub-forums. It won't let me quote her as her post was a quote in itself, but see below this line what she said.
_

I'm a proper old time MN gimmer, and this is so true I'm in physical pain.

AIBU used to be for when you genuinely didn't know if YWBU - and it ran alongside WWYD quite comfortably. Sometimes you got your arse handed to you, but for the most part, people actually gave advice/opinions without being actively nasty when someone had a dilemma. Now it's 'AIBU to ask you what sandwich filling you like best? AIBU to ask for supermarket voucher codes? AIBU to say I don't drink tea?'

In the meantime, all the other subforums wither & die... and so everyone starts posting in AIBU 'for traffic'. I am aware I am being a hypocrite to post on a thread in AIBU btw.

I'll be honest the response here has been far more mixed than I expected, I didn't realise how many people would be fine and accepting of the disorder (that isn't a dig, just an observation). But for me, the lack of use of relevant topics does make the user experience worse, and a number of people have agreed with me, mostly those who have been on here for many years and have seen the problem worsen. I genuinely believe Mumsnet would be better if

a) stricter policing and use of correct topics
b) (as suggested by many others) some sort of refinement of the subforms, there are too many and can be confusing, weight-loss for example has 7 subcategories!

For MILs? Or to support people complaining about them? To support the MILs. So much nasty rubbish on here

I dont understand the need for WWYD AND AIBU. They're basically the same kind of threads, MN should roll them into one.

I see why you think that but the only way around the problem would be for HQ to delete Chat and AIBU because, surely, most topics could be covered by the other forums anyway?

I've been on here for 10 years or so with 3 different user names. I'm afraid I've not really ever understood all the rules but I do enjoy mining specialist threads (eg property). So I think using those categories is v useful. I've never however, really got what Chat is for...

TRIGGER WARNING - Thanks for this, it's an excellent point and something I didn't address in my OP for the sake of brevity. However, I am not the 'nazi' others have suggested I am, and I absolutely would agree that there are exceptions when it comes to needing traffic. For example, a number of months ago a lady posted after finding a suicide note in their sons room, was this belonging on AIBU - no, but I would support it being here due to the importance of getting feedback and traffic. These are exceptions though, and not someone wanting to loose 2lbs fast. It is a great point though, ultimately, this needs to be a site that supports women, particularly vulnerable ones.

Well I can definitely agree with your last sentence.

I rarely post threads but when I do I've had very few responses in the correct forums. And when I was in an abusive relationship, I preferred to post in AIBU rather than Relationships, I wanted the straight talking. IME Yes there a few idiots on AIBU who blame the victim but even Relationships isn't immune from that.

I see why you think that but the only way around the problem would be for HQ to delete Chat and AIBU because, surely, most topics could be covered by the other forums anyway?
That's true but I don't think MN will ever delete Chat or AIBU.

Yanbu OP but HQ will not do anything about it. I have been on at them for many, many years link to November 2012

[[https://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/site_stuff/1244989-Please-please-lovely-byootiful-mnhq-please-will-you-get-rid-of-AIBU link to June 2011
thread]]

And there are hundreds more. This is something that HQ will never address, they have ignored requests for almost 10 years.

But, still, yanbu.

Yes, I think it's because AIBU and Chat draw people to their site because of the traffic - especially the dreaded DM

@Havaiana you say you have had little response in the correct forums, that's entirely my point, by allowing AIBU and Chat to be used the way they have been the correct subforums have died off. Perhaps it's a little 'genie out of the bottle' now but I think do if this was properly monitored and dealt with those forums could thrive and the user experience would be better.

Relationships is generally better for those who are vulnerable as it tends to be a 'kinder' area, less trolls or just people out to attack for a laugh. Which for many vulnerable or abused women could be detrimental and cause them to not seek help, although not it your case. In AIBU people get eaten alive for 'drip-feeding', are very unforgiving if people may initially misrepresent something, and often they don't read the thread and just attack the OP without reading any clarifying posts. No area of Mumsnet is entirely immune from this, but from my experience Relationships has people who generally want to help, AIBU is for people what want to get irate.

I agree Relationships is generally better but a few of the recent ones where OP was experiencing domestic abuse, AIBU really comes through for those women and the support was nearly 100%. I think the trolls know they’ll be given short shrift on those threads.

I’m the opposite to you; I feel there are waaaay too many sub boards and sub-sub boards. You’d need a feckin’ printed out directory to work out where to post. The TES boards used to be the same. Way too many topics and the vast majority of them are dead. Mumsnet is not Reddit; it isn’t big enough or worldwide enough to support 100s of boards.

I understand the need for sub boards for topics people may find triggering or upsetting, but some of the subdivisions are stupid. I mean “Books” is split up into 6 boards. 6! Why not just have one feckin’ book board! There’s a telly addict board and a streamed telly board. Why not just TV?! There’s 34 sub boards in Other Stuff! 34! Argh!

I’d agree with you completely if the boards were streamlined a bit more. But the way it is now is a pain in the arse to navigate, so I understand why most stuff gets posted on a few boards instead.

If I were vulnerable no way would I post on Relationships. I don't agree that it's any kinder than AIBU. With many posters there if you don't LTB straightaway and immediately read Lundy Bancroft you get lectured and patronised.

Who gives a shit, read it don't.