Not allowing Grandparent to see grandchild

[Tophy124]

Hi all,

So I’m currently 38w pregnant with first baby. I am having a really hard time weighing up risks vs staying safe currently, and I may be veering into pfb so would appreciate some opinions.

This week we have cancelled plans to see my immediate family, due to other young family members coming down with viral illnesses. My mum has been deeply upset by this and I feel incredibly guilty. She takes care of the young family members twice a week and both her and my Dad work in busy, public facing roles. I feel so guilty that my instinct is to keep them away for the first few weeks post-birth, due to worries about colds and coronavirus. When I pictured having my first baby I always thought I’d have my Mum in the room (this is now definitely now allowed due to trust restrictions) and that I’d have people around to visit us as soon as we came home. I know that I need to take care of my mental health as the last thing I want to do is end up with postpartum anxiety or depression due to isolating myself, so I guess I’m asking what others would do?

I wouldn't worry too much right now. A lot can change in a fortnight. It's just been on the news that there's more areas about to go into local lockdowns with a few days notice.

If the rules permit and everyone has good hygiene and takes appropriate measures then there's no reason for you not to see your parents after giving birth, but it would probably be wise to avoid passing your newborn round and close contact.

I too would be keeping my distance from anyone unwell for the time being.

For after the birth I would personally keep an open mind and see how you feel after the birth. Some women like myself prefer more space and minimal visitors and support. Other women prefer lots of support and visits. Neither is right or wrong, and they way your birth goes will likely also have an impact on this. So I would see how you feel at the time, do a risk assessment that includes your own mental health and go from there

Thank you! We aren’t close to any local lockdown areas, but as you say, these things can change so rapidly!

Your post was very reassuring. I appreciate it.

I would definitely keep them away too.
I didn’t enjoy having visitors in the early days anyway so it would be a great excuse to avoid those but in the current climate I would be very cautious about early visitors.

As long as they are in good health at the time and wash their hands I would let parents visit. Pre covid you would not visit a newborn when you had a cold either . See how you feel at the time though - there's no right answers to this.