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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Neighbours Ring doorbell

138 replies

Mumz3 · 17/09/2020 09:21

So I live in a block of flats and noticed earlier my neighbour has installed a Ring doorbell which directly faces my flat door. There’s a fire door between our flats so unless it’s open she won’t be recording my actual door all the time but as far as I know these doorbells record any motion they sense for 20/30 seconds? So she’s recording the communal close area whenever someone passes her door (which is very often because her flat is directly to the left of the main door) and I do have to walk past her door to get to the letterboxes or to take my bins out. She’ll inadvertently record anyone that comes to my flat thru the main door as well (so that’s everyone that visits me) and my son at primary school age will be recorded every time he goes to school and back. There is a back door to the flats that I can use but it means a detour round the car park to get to the letterbox or to go to the bin shed. Am I being unreasonable to want her to take the doorbell down?

OP posts:
Cissyandflora · 17/09/2020 22:27

@Mumz3

I wouldn’t buy one because I’d be concerned that I’d be invading peoples privacy that’s the point 🤦‍♀️😂 I didn’t say anywhere that I thought she was intentionally recording my family’s every move. What I said was that she will inadvertently record me and my family’s every move, which I’m not alright with. And just because no one YOU know does that doesn’t mean that no one does that 😂
The thing is she won’t watch your every move. No more than anyone you pass during your day can. If she wants she can monitor when you go I’m and Out and any visitors. But I bet she won’t. I never ever look at mine. It’s just there for security and for answering the door when I’m not home. I never watch my neighbours.
StoneofDestiny · 17/09/2020 22:27

I'd see that as additional security, can't see a disadvantage at all.

Cissyandflora · 17/09/2020 22:29

And I’ll tell you what’s worse though. The camera doesn’t give a flattering picture.

Cissyandflora · 17/09/2020 22:33

@Kinneddar

Shes probably got it set so that it doesn't detect you. When I set mine up it shows you the view from the camera split in zones. You can activate or deactivate as it suits you. I cant for a minute think she'll have it covering your door it means shed be getting notifications on her phone when you or anyone else come in and out. That would drive you nuts. Shes probably just got it set to cover her door. As pp said there's also a good chance its not recording all the time. I switched that feature off because it drains the battery

Instead of going to the HA etc why not ask her about it. You could do it in s 'I'm thinking of getting one' way and establish how she has hers set up.

Yes this is a great idea. I have been trying to think Of a way to reassure my neighbours that im not recording them. I wish they’d ask me how it’s set up just so that we could have that conversation. I’ve also set unit so that it doesn’t notify me when it’s further neighbours. And it doesn’t record all the time. I didn’t even know that was an option. I thought it only records when activated.
Dee1975 · 17/09/2020 22:35

It may not be bad thing? A bit of Security for you?

Original poster
Mumz3 · 17/09/2020 22:42

@Danni91 she possibly is paying the £150 to watch us but we’ll never know unless she admits it eh. I’m sure a previous poster had said u don’t need a subscription to use the motion sensor feature anyways? And I don’t believe she’s got a Ring doorbell specifically to record my comings and goings but I do think it’ll come as a perk to her because in the 10 years we’ve both lived here she’s always been nosy on another level.

OP posts:
Original poster
Mumz3 · 17/09/2020 22:52

@Kinneddar yeah she might have it set up that way but if she has the motion sensor on to detect anyone passing her door (I’m assuming this is a setting) then it would pick me and visitors to my flat up as well because after entering the main door to the flats I then have to pass her door to get to mines.

OP posts:
BumbleFlump · 17/09/2020 23:10

My neighbour is extremely security conscious (lives on her own) and had a ring doorbell as well as a camera which overlooks our garden. So I could have written a very similar post. At first I was wary of it all and it felt quite overbearing but it doesn’t bother me at all now. In fact I feel much safer with all the extra security....I recently had to get a camera myself, it was a novelty at first but I quickly got bored of checking it every time a bird flew past. I really don’t think your neighbour will be spying you in the communal hallway - it won’t be very interesting...unless you’re drug dealing or have a stream of different men entering your flat!

Original poster
Mumz3 · 17/09/2020 23:47

@BumbleFlump yeah I can see the benefits of it but I feel safe enough that we have a buzzer entry system and it’s a decent area. No but if I was/did I’m sure she’d know already, bloody knows everything about everyone I swear and that’s before the Ring doorbell was installed 😂😂

OP posts:
nexus63 · 18/09/2020 00:30

neighbours complained about a relatives ring doorbell, housing said it was not a problem, it is only activated when the doorbell is pressed, they buy a lot online and parcels kept going missing, it pings on there phone and they can see who is at there door when they are out, the housing told the complainers that is was perfectly legal for them to do this. everytime you go out your door you will come up on a camera somewhere, either from other neighbours, shops etc

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 18/09/2020 10:10

Well ours came in useful yesterday. Our path was damaged by a workman who flatly denied it was him despite it being impossible it was anyone else. Thanks to the Ring doorbell we know how he did it.

justmakemeacuppa · 18/09/2020 17:41

We paid a fortune for a ring Camera, don’t worry she’ll get sick of charging it and in 6 month it’ll just be a glorified expensive doorbell.

IRIELADY · 18/09/2020 17:46

I have one as I have dodgy neighbours at one side and have had to call the police several times. It does send a lot of alerts. It's useful when you're waiting for something in the post too. I don't look at the app constantly but it gives peace of mind. It does also pick up the other side but I've no need to monitor them so don't spent my time scrutinising that footage! Its really not very interesting. Any recordings get deleted from their server in the Cloud after a month anyhow. I did have some recordings of the idiots at the other side which came in use when reporting their abuse to the police.

Twinkled · 18/09/2020 18:27

It would bother me if she can tell when I'm leaving home etc . Talk to HA/ landlords . Do you feel okay to ask if you are being recorded? Also isn't there a main entry phone for all?

Ilovecornwalltoo · 18/09/2020 18:57

I wouldn't personally be bothered by this, but you might be interested in what the information commissioner says: ico.org.uk/your-data-matters/domestic-cctv-systems-guidance-for-people-being-filmed/

FelicisNox · 18/09/2020 19:48

FYI it doesn't record unless you pay for this as an extra feature.

Why not engage her in chit chat and find out if this is actually the case before you make waves?

It's difficult as she clearly doesn't feel safe and that's a need that requires acknowledgement and addressing. I can understand your issues re: your child but this situation isn't all about you and your wants and needs so it would be nice if you could find a middle ground, what that is depends on the features of the doorbell.

As a mother I get it, but our wants do not automatically trump other peoples just because we have kids. This sense of entitlement needs to stop.

It may be that you live in a rough area and she is genuinely frightened so why ahould she give up the one thing that makes her feel safe just to satisfy your paranoia?

Food for thought.

ameliajoan · 18/09/2020 19:54

I don’t understand how anyone could possibly find this an issue. I wouldn’t be taking my ring doorbell down for anyone.

browneyes77 · 18/09/2020 19:59

I live in a block of 6 flats, housing association and we also have a buzzer entry main door system downstairs.

I’ve been contemplating having the Ring doorbell system myself for when I’m away on holiday or away from home for extended periods of time.

As PP’s have said, in order to record you have to pay a subscription fee. I don’t feel I need that, but I liked the idea of being able to be notified when someone was directly outside my front door, be able to see them and talk through the intercom to let them think someone is in the house to deter them if they were contemplating breaking in.

Possibly your neighbour has the same idea? If she hasn’t purchased the subscription for the recordings, then she won’t be recording you.

I can understand why the thought of being recorded is unsettling for you. So I think the best option would be to talk to your neighbour, explain your concerns and just check what set up she is using, to see if she is using the recording feature and if she has it set up to record a specific range. You can at least then discuss some options that would make you feel more comfortable.

Persifleur · 18/09/2020 20:10

YANBU. Who wants to be monitored by a random neighbour? Clearly some MNers are OK with this on the 'nothing to hide' principle. There are a lot of people who aren't OK with it: eg, who grew up in in a totalitarian country, or fear waking up in one. Or who just have gossipy or creepy neighbours.

What bothers me most about your post, OP, is that you came here first rather than talking to your neighbour.

No, I'm not talking about un-neighbourliness but about the tendency to second-guess oneself, the need to check with other people first. It is perfectly OK to be creeped out by a neighbour's nosiness, or even the risk of it given their previous behavioyr. It is perfectly OK to object to some random recording every time you arrive or leave home. Trust yourself.

I guess this post goes against the spirit of AIBU, but I can live with that.

Persifleur · 18/09/2020 20:19

OTOH, I realise that if the average view is that you'd be unreasonable to complain there might be a risk that the neighbour would become violent if you did. In which case, the problem is not the Ring doorbell.

gingerwhinger0 · 18/09/2020 20:37

@Persifleur

YANBU. Who wants to be monitored by a random neighbour? Clearly some MNers are OK with this on the 'nothing to hide' principle. There are a lot of people who aren't OK with it: eg, who grew up in in a totalitarian country, or fear waking up in one. Or who just have gossipy or creepy neighbours.

What bothers me most about your post, OP, is that you came here first rather than talking to your neighbour.

No, I'm not talking about un-neighbourliness but about the tendency to second-guess oneself, the need to check with other people first. It is perfectly OK to be creeped out by a neighbour's nosiness, or even the risk of it given their previous behavioyr. It is perfectly OK to object to some random recording every time you arrive or leave home. Trust yourself.

I guess this post goes against the spirit of AIBU, but I can live with that.

Well I am hoping you've disabled your google accounts, don't use facebook and other electronic devices that collect and process your data, because they know far more about you than a neighbour with a ring door bell ever could.
Persifleur · 18/09/2020 20:46

That's whataboutery. Different monitors for different reasons. People don't have to be happy with any of it (let alone all of it) to object to some of it.

Persifleur · 18/09/2020 20:52

You might as well say: the NHS knows you have a STI and anyone on the system can access that, so why should you mind if your next door neighbour knows?

gingerwhinger0 · 18/09/2020 21:09

Whataboutery? and you are asking 'what about' people that grew up in a Totalitarian state in your post. Hmm

achapman · 18/09/2020 22:03

I would also be concerned that the police might have access to video from this doorbell. Perhaps not now, but it is possible see www.telegraph.co.uk/politics/2020/03/29/police-recruit-householders-create-network-doorbell-cameras/
In the US it is routine for local police departments to access video from Ring doorbells to gather intelligence.