Should I do 'sensible' move to area i don't like?

[Jet888]

Myself, dh and two dc currently been living long term with family ( long story involving nightmare sale of prevuous property, job loss etc)
Anyway now need to move out by Jan.
Have offer in on house in area we like. Dh hates house and agreed offer on condition we move in 2 years which I agreed to as a)agree house not ideal for our family and b) dc1 would have got into the good local school. We'd stay in the same town.
Property is below our budget so low mortgage every month.
Dh now seen properly he thinks is perfect. It's much bigger and has very good schools too. £100k more so absolute top of our budget. Problem is I hate the area! Boring, nothing really there. Nice, middle class but dull. (I currently teach in that area. ) couldn't imagine going for walk with dc in pram as nowhere to walk to!
Dh says location doesn't matter as I can get in my car and drive somewhere else whereas he can't leave the house he hates and go elsewhere. If we moved here I wouldn't want to move again for long haul as wouldnt be fair uprooting schooling and Dh says he couldn't bear another unnecessary move.
What would you do? Can't tell if I'm just being stupid and should go for sensible 'head' move to big house, good schoos etc and totally ignore my heart. Ps, I'd also have to move job eventually moving to the cheaper property as commute longer and could be tricky to find another pt teaching post.

Keep looking

Choosing a house is a bit like dating I think. You should definitely consider all the options, but when you find 'the one', you know. You haven't found 'the one' yet!

I'm trying to picture the area that £100k extra house is in. It's naice and middle class but with nothing to do.

The only places I can think of where you have to get into a car are rural ie surrounded by nothing but fields. Most naice middle class areas are teeming with mum and baby classes, play parks and cafes.

When DC came along we found that that sort of thing was more important than restaurants and bars.

If rural I'd say avoid. My DStepM spent all her time driving her DC around.

If just a MC suburb there may be more going on than you think.

I agree, it should be something we both want. I think really im worried at the back of my mind about dh being made redundant again. We were meant to buy last September then dh lost job got one again months later just as covid shut everything down. I'm worried if we moved into rental then he got made redundant again we'd be months and months off buying again whilst paying a whacking big rent. On the house we've offered i could cover the mortgage on my pt salary if he did lose job.

If I were looking with a school-aged/younger child, after size of house and avoiding high crime areas, I would prioritise school followed by being able to get to places on foot. Having to drive places is really annoying. I have never much liked my current house, but the location is really good for the town centre and other amenities and not having to get in the car all the time.

I live in a boring commuter town but there is quite a lot going on and during lockdown we found far more places to walk and cycle than we really knew existed. You might be surprised about the more expensive house's area.

But I agree with pp's that it doesn't really sound like either house is quite right. I wouldn't' want to go up £100K for the sake of it, either, having a lower mortgage and more flexibility has a lot going for it. But neither would I want to plan to move again in 2 years.

What's tying you to the area or areas you're househunting in? What does your DH hate about the house you've offered on, is it something that you could change in due course? It's awful to live in a house you dislike, whether it's because it's too small to be comfortable or an odd layout that harder to use day to day, but it's not so bad if you know it's only temporary... I would personally stick with it though, as it's easily affordable if the job situation changes, and you must have seen some possibilities to it if you made an offer on it?

I do think that it will help if you consider it a short term solution; you've already explored the idea of staying there for a few years and then moving to somewhere more suitable. Of course buying and selling is horribly expensive, but at least at that point you will be able to househunt without the terrible pressure that a deadline imposes and find something that suits you all without an eye on the clock, as it were. By that time your family may have changed in some aspects and have different requirements, it might be easier to find something that suits your lifestyle better by then.

I'm really finding it so useful seeing what people are saying.
Regarding why we're looking in set areas, my parents have (amazingly!) offered few days a week free babysitting for the dcs so we need to be within reasonable journey of them (and I do want to be near my family too for non child minding reasons as my kids are very close to them.) Unfortunately, dh needs to be on train line for work as cant drive due to medical reasons and within my parents travel time that leaves 2 areas that are either not retirement villages or too rural. (I wouldn't expect my parents to move closer to us as they already moved closer to where my sister and her dh chose to live to help them with childcare a few years back - that's a whole other issue with my husband as he feels the areas we have to choose from have been dictated by my sister's choices but there you go - it's just a side effect of bring the 2nd sibling to have kids I guess! I'm very grateful my parents are able/ willing to offer childcare help at all and dh doesnt realise how much harder if would be for us as a family without this help, both practically and financially. ) we did look at possibly of extending this property but could only go sideways which doesn't address his main concern of small master bedroom as extending wouldnt give us a bigger floorspace.

Thanks everyone. Going to end this thread now but appreciate all your views and ideas.

We moved to the house in a boring middle class suburb. I find it all kinds of dull. The village has basically nothing but charity shops, a post office and two branches of Sainsbury's.

However. It's very easy to get babysitters. And the train line proximity (which was essential for us) helps a lot as we can easily change scenery for a night out. The schools are fantastic and we are in catchment of four good schools. The house itself is better than I could afford in another location. I have really appreciated living in a comfortable home with naice neighbours during lockdown.

For me: It's been the right decision. I miss my old life and friends living more centrally and don't get on with the tennis mom crowd but as I work I don't have to hang out with anybody I don't want to and I have started to make good friends.

I think house matters more overall especially if you have a young family and are going to have quickly changing needs, and marital harmony is important. Don't underestimate what a source of tension it can become (although I'm sure after your current circumstances you might be thinking "anything is better than this!"). I have school mum friends who have spent way more years in their 3-year starter home than they intended because life and market forces got in the way of their next-step plans. One of the couple hates the house, only moved to make the other one happy, and hasn't stopped mentioning that since they moved in.

If your husband hates the house you've offered on, pull out. If neither of these houses are right, so be it, but life is too short to hate your home and moving is too expensive to waste money on an unnecessary extra step! Take the time and get it right. What's for you won't pass you.

I wouldn't move to either house, you will both be miserable. Either short term rent for a while or wait until both of you are happy with your choices