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Original poster

Partner being frustrating

19 replies

Cecelori · 16/09/2020 23:28

I am about to move cities to finish higher education after a few years out and since I announced I would be going back to conclude my studies (due to the state of the economy currently) my partner has been foul towards me. I have tried to talk to him and it is like walking on eggshells some days he is nice but others he is nasty. Yes we live together. Also when I try to have civil conversations he seems to say things like 'if you don't stop being a bitch I'm not going to talk to you for a week'. I pay most bills and own most electricals in the house, including shopping and cooking. I feel he's realised that he will soon be stuck supporting himself and without most things in his every day. FYI yes I did invite him to move and gave him ample opportunity he refused. When I left studies I contemplated buying a house or even trying for a child but obviously my education and career is priority now. His mother sometimes makes me feel bad for moving back aswell, telling me how she thought she was going to have grandchildren soon. We have been together 5 years and idk what to do because it's making me feel crap but I've put so much in.

OP posts:
gamerchick · 16/09/2020 23:32

Sounds like you've outgrew him. That's ok.

bethany39 · 16/09/2020 23:35

He does sound foul but did you really just "announce" to your partner of 5 years that you're moving out without any prior discussion and expect him to be ok with that?!

purpleme12 · 16/09/2020 23:40

@bethany39

He does sound foul but did you really just "announce" to your partner of 5 years that you're moving out without any prior discussion and expect him to be ok with that?!
This is what I thought too

Something about the what OP says just seems a bit 'off'

Original poster
Cecelori · 16/09/2020 23:40

@bethany39 you clearly didn't understand my post, we met, I moved to uni, he came with me, we moved back, under the premise I would probably finish my degree at some point, he has quite obviously been up to date on every decision, I used the term announced as in I announced it to my family and friends. I shortened the post to not make it to obvious to anyone who knows me but my family aren't keen on him and it started fantastic the first 2 years but now he expects everything, gets aggressive, demanding and has paid 20 percent of bills in the past years.

OP posts:
Kleptronic · 16/09/2020 23:42

Leave him behind.

LovingLola · 16/09/2020 23:43

So what’s good about him?

bethany39 · 16/09/2020 23:46

Your post is still not clear OP. Even there was the expectation you would move back at some point I'd expect two adults in a long term relationship to have a discussion about whether it was the right time. Did you have those discussions with him or just decide yourself?

I'm not saying you're in the wrong, he's an aggressive cocklodger and you should leave him. But there is a very odd vibe coming across about your whole relationship from what you've posted.

Original poster
Cecelori · 17/09/2020 00:49

I've clearly kept it vague for basic help and support due to being in isolation and lockdown and you're claiming its odd that I wouldn't spill absolutely every detail to strangers when I'm just simply looking for a wwyd? As stated the discussion was had and it was him continuously changing his mind well after I have a contractual obligation with my university. Secondly you're wording it as if if he says no I have to bow down and succumb.

OP posts:
wedidntstartthefires · 17/09/2020 02:00

You know this relationship is shit, in the nicest possibly way what do you want from this thread?

You know they never get better only worse, you know his is an emotionally abusive cocklodger and you could do a whole lot better.

Best to be single if you are going back to uni, lots of opportunities for fun or a nice relationship.

Happynow001 · 17/09/2020 05:33

Hello @Cecelori

Have you decided what you will do if he decides his bread is better buttered with you, and now moves with you?

Or, given his anger about moving with you, maybe it's time for you to make a clean break from someone who is "foul" and "nasty".

Do, please, take him up on his offer

'if you don't stop being a bitch I'm not going to talk to you for a week'.

but make the not talking permanent.

There's a new name I've seen on MN today "hobo-sexual" - AKA cocklodger. Sounds like you have one of those.

I hope you don't give up your plans for this person. What sort of future would you have with him? 🌹

FortunesFave · 17/09/2020 05:48

He's obviously annoyed he's going to have to stand on his own two feet. I'd end things the moment I moved out.

Or now if that suits better?

seayork2020 · 17/09/2020 06:18

If you don't want to be with him fine, but your post is coming across to me as 'I have decided this and you need to go along with it or I am going without you'

if true and my partner did that I would leave them.

So why not just leave him?

SnuggyBuggy · 17/09/2020 06:34

Have you just grown apart? Most long term couples discuss and decide these things together and your decision to move out and go back to uni seems like something you've just decided to do yourself. He isn't obliged to be happy that you are moving out.

dontdisturbmenow · 17/09/2020 07:21

Why is he only paying 20% of all bills? You didn't mention rent, does it include it?

Does he work FT?

AlwaysCheddar · 17/09/2020 07:24

Leave him. Simple.

Sanitisethat · 17/09/2020 07:25

He sounds like an arsehole who has enjoyed taking financial advantage of you. You’re better off without him - see this as the good opportunity it is to make a fresh start without him!

Nottherealslimshady · 17/09/2020 07:45

Sound like you dont like eachother. But you cant jump down peoples throats for picking up on how you said you told him. It's a big important detail how it decided youd move and go back to uni, a relationship of 5 years this would be a joint decision. Not just one person saying "I'm moving and taking everything with me, you can either come or find your own place".

RoseTintedAtuin · 17/09/2020 08:31

It doesn’t sound like much of a partnership to me. Good luck.

Cocomarine · 17/09/2020 08:42

Are you as rude to him as you are to posters on here who didn’t understand your first post? Which certainly did give the impression that you made a unilateral decision quickly, and just announced it as a fait accompli.

Your relationship is clearly shit though - dump him, move, don’t look back.

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