AIBU to take this further?

[Mumthedogsbeensick]

I work for an independent opticians and deal with eyewear sales reps as part of my job. One such rep rang today to book an appointment to show me his company's new range. Now I've never met or spoken to him before so listened to his spiel and agreed to see him. Firstly I asked him to remind me of his name to which he replied 'Richard but you can call me Dick' then said 'Okay I've got my diary, when can I do you?' followed by a laugh. At this point I told him that I thought he was being completely unprofessional and inappropriate and told him to forget it and hung up. I rang my manager who is also male and told him what had happened and basically got told 'oh you know what sales reps are like, it's only a bit of banter'! Am I being unreasonable in wanting to put in a complaint to his company or is my manager right it's just a bit of banter?

YABU You say "no thanks, I'll call you Richard". I really couldn't get worked up over this

I think you did the right thing. His poor phone manner lost him a potential sale...actions have consequences

Complain to his boss. A director once said similar to me ("do you") in front of a large audience and laughed. All the men laughed with him. I was young, humiliated, and said nothing. Eventually he left under a compromise agreement because more senior women complained about more hands-on stuff. I wish a) I'd complained and b) more people had challenged him earlier. It's completely unacceptable.

Sad to say, but if you point out it's costing them sales they will probably do something

I'm at all those telling you to say nothing. IME men who make comments like this are vile to women in other ways- it could add to a pattern of complaints about him. He was a complete stranger and it was inappropriate.

Based purely on what was said, then I think you are on shakey ground. If it made you uncomfortable then that is probably a fair reaction to the tone - but you can't prove tone. On the other hand, you took umbrage at sentences that, on the face of it, are entirely innocuous (his name and when he can get an appointment) and hung up. Which also seems rather unprofessional. You complain to his company, he comes back with your unprofessional behaviour and they complain to your company, and before you know it, it's you that has the problem, not him.

Personally, I think you did the correct thing, but I would also draw a line under it having done so.

Tell his manager it's everyday sexism and leaving unchallenged just perpetuates it

I'd be leaning towards taking it further. He made you uncomfortable with innuendo. This kind of thing still lands OK with some people but a lot of people would find it inappropriate and out of place.

Harassment is a real problem, and it's partly a problem because people excuse 'minor' instances of it. I wouldn't blame you for not complaining further, based on some of the reasons PPs have given, but I think that complaining is perfectly reasonable here.

I might suggest framing it as 'I was surprised that your representative would be so cringey and inappropriate; I thought you might want to know he had lost a sale by not being aware of current workplace norms, and I wouldn't like to think of him making other women uncomfortable in the way he made me'.

To the people saying 'you can't prove it' - she doesn't have to prove it. She's not taking him to court. She's merely reporting an instance of inappropriate behaviour, and if I was his manager I would want to know.