To think I could have a friendship, should I arrange a meet up?

[rainbowbrite16]

I went to a baby group last week and during the break I got speaking to another one of the mums.

We were saying we hadn't gotten out much with the babies and it would be nice to get out more.
I gave her my number and told her to message me if she fancied a coffee one day.

She messaged the next day and we met up today with the babies and had coffee.

We're the same age, both first time mums.
But I'm not sure if we had anything else in common.

All we really spoke about was our babies, weaning, sleeping etc.

We did discuss ourselves a little, she told me she's a Dr (paediatrician)
I'm an admin assistant.

She's very smart and well spoken, Im not really either of those things and I felt a little intimated in her company, though she did absolutely nothing to make me feel like that.

It was really lovely to be out with another mum, but I can't help but wonder if being mums was the only thing we actually had in common.

I've been thinking of messaging her and suggesting another catch up, but I don't know if we could ever really be friends.

Should I message again or does it not really sound as if we could be friends?

Give it a try, OP. What’s the worst that could happen? Just because she’s a doctor doesn’t mean you are somehow not worthy of her friendship!

Definitely arrange another meet up. You'll never know unless you try

Did you talk about any of your interests to see if she had similar ones?

If all you spoke about was your babies how do you know you have nothing else in common?

There's no harm in arranging a second meet up, maybe try to change the subject and get to know each other outside of being mums?

Did you enjoy it? Sometimes friends can be slow burners. I would message her if you'd like to. It might fizzle out or you could make a good friend.

I agree, give it a try. It might not turn out to be a lifelong friendship but it could be a good support for you both during the early years. More of a “stage of life” friendship

Absolutely message her and hang out again! My research is connected to this kind of thing (parents at baby groups), and it is often very much the case that parenthood is a far stronger connector than differences are dividers, if you see what I mean.

Oh, do it! One of the nicest things about having a baby is getting to have mum friends who you just get to know because you both have children the same age. I bet she just wants to chat to someone, as you do.

There’s no harm in trying. If you find you’ve nothing in common, the worst you’ve lost is an hour and the price of a coffee.

Yes of course! I’ve got a doctor friend, professor friend and accountant friend! We’ve got the same interests Go for it

I made really good friends at baby group because we were all finding our way together. Very different people and at first it was all about the babies and it grew from there. Trust me, being the one everyone in the group thought was the ‘cleverest’ does NOT make you any better at the actual business of parenting!!

I remember writing my number on a piece of paper when I met a mum who was a similar age to me and seemed nice. I was more nervous than asking someone on a date. I bottled it
I was pretty lonely on mat leave. We lived in south east London and the flat was a base, I didn’t know people. I found it really hard to meet other mums.
If I’d had a friend or two, mat leave would have been v different.
Sorry, that was really rambley. At the moment, all you have in common are the babies. Doesn’t mean to say that’s all that you actually have in common.

On the face of it I have nothing in common with my best friend other than we have a child the same age. She was married at 22, didn't go to uni, didn't have a career, is not interested in art or houses or interior design. I got married at 40, have a masters degree, a career and now make a living renovating houses. But we just gell.
Give it another go, ask what her passions are. See if you get on as people, rather than what you do or are.

I work in the city and my best and brightest mum friend is a dinner lady. It doesn't matter at all, compatibility isn't based on education and money.

Go for it!

My two closest mum friends have very little in common with me outside of parenting. It doesn’t affect our friendship, and it keep things interesting hearing about other people’s lives I think. Also, just because you don’t have much in common now doesn’t mean you never will- one of said friends is currently moving house (we are too!) and we’re talking almost daily checking in with each other’s moves.

If you get on with someone, then that’s that!

Give it a go!

If you've only met once, I'm sure there will be a lot you dont know about her.

See if she fancies meeting again, and among the baby talk, find out what films, music, tv, social activities she likes. I'm sure they'll be some common ground somewhere.

One of my best friends now is a mum I had/have little in common with. But she's absolutely lovely. Her kids are lovely. I now class her family I didn't get through birth. We met at baby massage and it's now 12 years and 3 more kids later.

Go meet this lady again. See if you share a love of TV reality shows....or whatever you like.....at worse you are both new mums and can provide a break in the day to each other.

I have some “mum friends”. We have nothing in common apart from our babies but I enjoy seeing them.
They won’t be anything like my old school friends who I’m very close to after 38 years. But that’s ok-you can have different types of friendships and Mum friends are very important!

When you have a new baby that is your overwhelming interest so you'll have plenty in common.

@Marlena1

Did you enjoy it? Sometimes friends can be slow burners. I would message her if you'd like to. It might fizzle out or you could make a good friend.

@Marlena1

I did enjoy it, it was so nice to be out of the house and with another mum and baby.
I just became really aware that all we spoke about was our babies though.

I also think when she told me she was a Dr I felt a bit strange. Not really sure why. But I just did.

I'm a doctor & most of my friends aren't - all sorts of jobs including admin! Profession isn't important, connection is. I would hate to think people are intimidated by my job & I'm sure she would too, since she clearly wasn't put off by your job!

That sounds quite normal to me - you met at baby club and both have babies, it's the obvious thing to bond over!

The more you meet up the more you will get to know what's going on in each other's lives - make sure you ask what she's been up to the past week, it's a non-intense way to find out more about her and what you have in common.

Definitely contact her. You might end up being life long friends, or your friendship might fizzle out once your babies are older. Either way right now having a friend to chat about and do baby stuff with is invaluable.