Phones at the dinner table

[Chewbecca]

I lost my rag tonight about, initially DS (17) scrolling through his phone, then DH checking his emails, followed by DS muttering and huffing and puffing at what he read but wouldn’t actually tell us what the problem was.

AIBU to expect the family to sit and eat the meal I have cooked and converse and not check phones until we have finished?

And a follow up question, if I am NBU, how do you make mealtimes phone free?

We don’t allow this! If I see a phone I just challenge it straight away in a lighthearted “ooh is that a phone? At the table? You know better” and it gets put away. It’s fine if we’re having a casual take away type meal on the living room floor but if we’re sitting at the dinner table then no screens, music only.

Tell the family what you expect of them and then stick to it. It’s really not difficult to go 30mins without checking your phone

They're just banned from the dinner table in this house. DH hates phones at table and so do I.

They're allowed at breakfast, as people come and go, but when we all sit down together the No Phone rule is unbreakable.

He’s 17, not 7.

No phones at the meal table.

@StillCoughingandLaughing

He’s 17, not 7.

Right, so he should know not to use his phone at the table.

All.devices are deposited in a basket on a shelf in the hallway leading to the dining room. If you can't be bothered to put your phone in the basket you are free to eat a sandwich and fruit in the kitchen

@StillCoughingandLaughing

He’s 17, not 7.

Your point being what?

Well I’d have thought it was perfectly obvious - that it’s a bit late to be ‘telling’ him what he can and can’t do at the dinner table.

All.devices are deposited in a basket on a shelf in the hallway leading to the dining room. If you can't be bothered to put your phone in the basket you are free to eat a sandwich and fruit in the kitchen

You really need to take the stick out.

No, I’d not like phones at the table unless it was waiting on news of particular import - birth or death imminent, hearing about a job after interview etc.

@StillCoughingandLaughing

Well I’d have thought it was perfectly obvious - that it’s a bit late to be ‘telling’ him what he can and can’t do at the dinner table.

I'm in my 40's and my mother wouldn't hold back on telling me what I can and can't do at the dinner table!

@StillCoughingandLaughing

Well I’d have thought it was perfectly obvious - that it’s a bit late to be ‘telling’ him what he can and can’t do at the dinner table.

I happily tell DS no phone at table and he's 26

Yes!!!! This is so rude. We have a rule of no phones at the table and I have to remind DH when our children are old enough that will be a condition of them having a phone.

I see (pre Covid) families out for dinner all on iPads and phones and not even talking what’s the point? I would expect all adults never to use their phone at the table unless there was a good reason as it’s rude and disrespectful.

No phones at the dinner table, even my mother now would lose her rag if i was checking my social media etc at the table.

No devices at the dinner table.

Don't get me wrong, we don't insist on intelligent political debate, or witty repartee; during the week we usually have Richard Osman House of Games on in the background

But no phones or iPads for the short time we're all eating together.

Our only house rule was no toys at the table.
A phone is just a grown up toy.
My family dont do it but I have (otherwise lovely) friends who do! Even in nice restaurants.

@StillCoughingandLaughing

I'm 50 and I would respect my mum's rules in her house. That's what you do, isn't it?

We're also a no phones at the dinner table kind of family.

Also no phones out if we're out for meal (the only exception is to take a photo or two if it's a special occasion/meal, but no editing, posting, sending etc. until we've left the restaurant and come home).

@StillCoughingandLaughing

All.devices are deposited in a basket on a shelf in the hallway leading to the dining room. If you can't be bothered to put your phone in the basket you are free to eat a sandwich and fruit in the kitchen

You really need to take the stick out.

No. I don't. People need to realize that there are times and situations where phones are not acceptable. At the table is one of them. Just like in real life. There are societal norms and expectations. This is one of them. If you want to be rude and have a phone at the table then there is absokutely no point in you being at the table. You van eat in the kitchen

No phones at the table IS my rule. But it is ignored. Hence losing my rag.

I guess the real question is how to get a 17 yo to do as they’re asked isn’t it?

He would very happily eat alone in another room with his phone. I’m not happy with that though.

People need to realize that there are times and situations where phones are not acceptable. At the table is one of them.

But making people put them in a bowl? Jesus.

@Chewbecca just tell him to put it away. Every.Time. He’ll learn to leave it in his pocket just to save the earache. Your house = your rules

YANBU! I’ve been thinking of banning them full stop when my parents visit. I have two toddlers who are excited to see their grandparents yet they are constantly on their phones when they are here. It really pisses me off. My youngest gave up talking to my Mum the other day after multiple attempts because she kept getting her phone out when he was talking to her. You’d think they could cope 45 minutes without their phones.

You need to get your DH to start by setting a good example then speak to them about it. Perhaps if it came from your DH who seems equally addicted to his phone it might be more of a challenge for them all to do. Place bets on who can do it. Once the cycle is broken it might get easier.