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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To go to a wedding without my husband

38 replies

couchpotato1 · 15/09/2020 18:18

My husband and I were invited to a wedding of a family member of mine. It was postponed due to Covid and has been rearranged for October. The bride has told me that although I am still invited, my husband is not. I’m not particularly close to her and was surprised to still get an invite as she obviously has very limited numbers.

Should I suck it up and go without him or politely decline the invitation and risk upsetting her?

OP posts:

Sciurus83 · 15/09/2020 19:48

Suck what up? It's a wedding, you put a dress on, watch ceremony, offer congratulations, eat some food and have a drink, go home or to hotel. Done. Lovely job, why wouldn't you?

lyralalala · 15/09/2020 19:51

I think to not go just because he's been uninvited would be really petty. If you are close enough to be invited in the 30 then go.

It's not like she's uninvited him randomly or through real choice.

Bluntness100 · 15/09/2020 19:53

What exactly are you ‘sucking up’?

I wondered that.

Redcherries · 15/09/2020 19:53

I rarely go anywhere without the grumpy sod but I’d go, it’s not normal times, the bride has had to make tough choices and is trying to have a special day. If she felt I could contribute to her day I’d do all I could to make it happen.

Aquamarine1029 · 15/09/2020 19:56

Why all the angst? If you want to go, go. I seriously doubt your husband will give a shit.

lifesalongsong · 15/09/2020 19:56

Is there something you've missed out, why would you not be able to go without your husband, is there some kind of practical issue Thames you need his assistance? What are you sucking up?

Regularsizedrudy · 15/09/2020 19:57

Go if you want to, don’t if you don’t

ClickandForget · 15/09/2020 20:03

I've been to a few weddings without dh when the children were very young - we had no childcare and most of the weddings necessitate hotel stays. DH preferred to stay home anyway and do a bit of bonding without me there. In these circumstances I would definitely go.

Nyclair · 15/09/2020 20:31

Depends on who the family member is.....
If its a cousin and I only seem them once every while at family occasions and my OH didn't mind I would go.
If it was a sibling, I wouldn't go without my OH

StillCoughingandLaughing · 15/09/2020 20:35

So you’d ditch a sibling’s wedding because they had to make a difficult choice during a global pandemic?

Glad you’re not my sister.

Thurmanmurman · 15/09/2020 21:43

I'd love that. DH and I always fall out at weddings, I absolutely hate going with him!

PurpleDaisies · 15/09/2020 21:45

I would go.

Also interested what there is to “suck up” in this situation.

DappledThings · 15/09/2020 22:01

@PurpleDaisies

I would go.

Also interested what there is to “suck up” in this situation.

Exactly.

I was meant to be at my cousin's wedding this weekend. They are going ahead with the 30 guests and we haven't made the cut, totally understandable. Had I made the cut I can't imagine DH would have done as well. So I would have gone without a moment's thought (bar ensuring he was able to finish work early on Friday to pick up DC).

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