Is this unreasonable?

[punter]

DH is getting forgetful and somewhat cross when he cannot log into certain websites or bank accounts because he can't remember the passwords etc. Usually calls for me to help him. So I do but I run out of patience sometimes and it ends in a niggly row. Now my problem. We have a Sky box and watch a lot of TV. He now wants to order Sky Q and have a mini box in the bedroom. I know that a new screen interface and remote will throw him and I will get involved in making the stuff work. Which I don't want to do. He called me selfish and controlling and says he will order it anyway. Am I being unreasonable not to cave in? We have been married many many years.

Is he quite elderly? My FIL is 92 and has massive issues with these things now having been very good with tech when he was younger. My DH has written down all his passwords and simplified what tech he has access to.

My 39 yo dh has the worst lack of day to day memory..
Drives me to despair at times.
Dr said it could be stress related.

Do you like your husband?

Looking at the other posts by op I think the short answer is, no.

Write the passwords down somewhere.

He's basically telling you that he EXPECTS you to take on the mental load of doing his thinking and sorting out for him.....to hell with how you feel.

why is it hard for him to choose easier passwords/write them down? learn to use the interface?

stop enabling him. let him sulk - throw him out if he carries on

Don't write the passwords down. Get a password manager.

@monkeymonkey2010

He's basically telling you that he EXPECTS you to take on the mental load of doing his thinking and sorting out for him.....to hell with how you feel. why is it hard for him to choose easier passwords/write them down? learn to use the interface?

stop enabling him. let him sulk - throw him out if he carries on

Overreaction much?

poor fella, help him out.

‘Boo hoo - I had to plug in a TV!’

He’s hardly asking you to go and work down the salt mines.

We use Last Pass too, you only have to remember your master password.

Once I printed out a photo of MIL's remote for the set top box, and drew arrows pointing to the buttons and wrote what they were. Even the Play button. I kid you not, she was referring to it for a couple of years... I do think she has some learning difficulties though, and technology just doesn't come easily to her. She did a basic computer literacy course some years ago but she didn't pass, she couldn't remember where each thing like Copy or Paste was on the screen, and had to look through them all each time. Often she couldn't find them and got timed out. She is OK at other things but technology is just frightening for her.

I do think you should cut him some slack if he's genuinely struggling. If he's competent but lazy, that's a different matter. He should get checked out if his memory is deteriorating, that's concerning.

I do understand the frustration of constant demands for help, and just how wearing it is to be around someone with memory problems, particularly if they get angry with it.
If he kept a note of passwords, would he remember that he had done that? If he had super-clear instructions, would he remember they were there?

I’d be inclined to let him go ahead, but keep the password and super-clear instructions somewhere safe but accessible. Every time he asks, you tell him where the information is.