How to raise my confidence and self esteem

[Genie92]

I suffer from low selt esteem. I always feel inferior to other people and especially towards other mums. I do everything for my two lovely kids but somehow I think it isn't enough. This is really starting to affect my life. Tips please as I would love to love forward

It depends partly on why you have low self-esteem. Have you suffered childhood trauma or abuse?

CBT can be really helpful with this. There are certain things you can do on your own positive affirmation etc but it helps to get started with a professional.

It's about a) rewiring your brain to see yourself in more positive terms and b) learning to take a step back and see the negative thoughts you have about yourself as just thoughts, not observable reality.

I had at one point a copy of a book called CBT for Dummies which was really helpful. But if you can get a few sessions with someone its really worthwhile.

If you are dealing with the effects of childhood trauma you might need something more in-depth to get to the bottom of it. You should see a GP ans find out what your options are to start with. Could you afford to go private?

Counselling has helped me a lot!

Spending time with good friends / meeting new people has also helped me but I think counselling or CBT probably needs to come first.

I'd definitely look up some CBT, if you search for counselling in your area you might find you get a quick appointment (especially if one of your kids is under 1). I've personally never been able to get on with positive affirmations but when I started hula hooping found that my confidence sky rocketed and I could suddenly envisage myself trying new things. Do you already do some exercise? I like hula hooping because you can do it to music and don't have to go outside / be seen.

Do one scary thing a day. For example, if you’re self conscious about your body, wear a bright top one day. Speak to someone new one day. Compliment someone. Then slowly increase your daily challenges until you unpick your insecurities and address them.

Also try to achieve something. For example do a course that addresses what you feel insecure about. Or run a half marathon etc. Just press on and achieve one thing, then another, then another and before you know it, you will look back and see how amazing and strong you are.