I'm bored of my partner

[Blabla7777]

Together 9 years. We've got kids. Our relationship has become soooo boring. He's quite a negative soul these days. Obsessed with the real intentions of the government. Always waffling on about bill gates, prince Andrew, the elite, the control behind coronavirus, data being collected. It's literally just misery, misery and more misery. I literally switch off now to him. If he isn't on about the above he's boring me with long winded work stories. I just want to shout at him that I don't fucking understand networking and I'm sick of hearing about Barry in Kent not listening to the instructions you emailed.

We've not had sex in months. When he tries to kiss me I don't want to kiss him back. I literally don't feel I want to snog him or get down and dirty with him because he's not making me feel happy in other areas. He's turned me right off. He sleeps on the sofa anyway as his snoring drives the household mad.

I have never cheated and I am not saying I want too. But my mind's starting to get flattered by any tiny bit of male attention I get. Even a wink from the binman made me blush last week.

I am in such a pickle. I worry I'll never feel alive again. How can I be turned on by a man who mopes about in his joggers and even suspects Meryl streep now. I want to just enjoy a film without him telling me someone is a part of the problem.

This sounds bad but I want to feel attracted to someone again. I want to have a fresh sex life and go out having fun again. But I know I can't because I am a mother with responsibilities. But how can I stop feeling like this. My mind's always elsewhere thinking of a better life.

You sound unhappy. Do you think there is any way you could get the spark back? Why not explain how you feel and see what he says. Maybe try couples counselling.
Boredom in a marriage could be like a slow death so you need to either try and do something about it or leave.

You can do better than this paranoid conspiracy theory obsessed slob, I’m afraid, and you seem to be realising it. Unfortunately this might require some destructive changes..

Hi. I try and tell him. I have picked on him about his obsessions to try and let him see it really is dull. He spends most of his time thinking and researching so far out of our box. I feel he is walking around convinced he's smart and everyone just living is stupid and needs to wake up. I feel like he's forgotten about us. I have tried to say this to him too. But he gets really upset and says everything he does is for me and the kids.

The thing is I know I'm not innocent now. Because I don't try. I don't enjoy weekends with him. I'll be taking care of the kids all week. Then weekends I feel I'm stuck in the house feeling pissed off with what he could be doing.

He works hard and I won't take that away from him. He's a good dad. He does try as I say to give me a kiss. But there's been no laughter leading up to it and it feels so unnatural because he will just lean at me for a kiss on his way to make a drink. I can see he's trying to get that part back. I just really wish he would stop with the consprioacies and things. I have told him that he is weighing himself down with stuff he can't control. Missing the parts he can. Like gardening, taking the kids for bikerides, focusing on everyday normal things.enjoying music. Enjoy a shower every morning instead of it becoming a chore just before we want to go out. Living in our box is so much healthier. Ofcourse we all worry about the future for our families. Things are a mess and 2020 has really put a limit on things. We have been untouchable for so long. But people have been through wars and viruses with high death rates in all ages. Even this is watered down compared to what our ancestors have been through.

I was having a chat outside yesterday to a bloke working on our street. He kindly gave my son his football back when it went across the road. He was talking about diggers to my toddler for a couple of minutes and just being friendly. I went out to the car abit later and just said hi across to him again. I went to put rubbish in the bin after tea and my partner walked up the path behind me and I am pretty sure he was letting that man know I wasn't single. It was so weird as he's never followed me to the bin.

I feel terrible. We have a mortgage but I'm not currently working for a couple of years as I just can't afford the nursery costs and I can't rely on anyone to collect my other from school etc. It was my house first and I added him on. We have two little children. I can't see a way for me to actually leave the property and start a new life. It's an absolute nightmare to think about.

I just don't know if this is some bored coronavirus/ housewife thing. I don't know if he is ever going to lighten back up. I don't know how to feel happy because I feel smoothered. The mundane routine of two noisy kids at home (eldest has a cold and isn't allowed to school) and him working from home means getting on with things is really hard. I just never get any peace and quiet. I never get to think and work out how I can be happy. I feel like telling him I don't like his personality anymore is so cruel. Because he has done so much for me. I've had anxiety in lockdown and he has taken over the school runs as I try and build back up. So I know I'm not perfect. But I still have the need to laugh and feel I'm connected to someone. I feel like something is missing and that's adding a weight onto how I feel. I need someone to remind me what humour is. Although my partner has humour, he twists words and can sometimes say something funny he's mostly just depressing himself over the world. I just want to chat about light things. I want to focus on a project like painting or sorting the garden. I wish we could be happy and be in a lighter world or I honestly don't think we will ever be ok again.