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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think a combined salary of 60k is really comfortable?

440 replies

BathedInLavender · 14/09/2020 18:56

OUTSIDE of London. But still in the South East. This isn't a conversation about London because that obviously won't go very far there full stop.

AIBU to think a combined salary of 60k is actually comfortable and not 'meh' at all.

DH earns 30k, I earn the same but I'm part time so it's less because of pro rata. We aren't struggling by any means. If I returned to FT we would have a lot more spare cash, and we have a fair bit now. We don't have cheap housing costs, £900per month just on that.

I spend a lot of money on ridiculous crap Blush and we holiday every year with DC.

It's not bad money if you're not paying out for an excessive mortgage or rental costs, I'd say.

OP posts:
Ginger1982 · 15/09/2020 09:09

Honestly? Who cares? If you're happy with what you earn and what you can afford to spend then that's all that matters. You sound a bit insecure though, as though deep down you don't think it is enough and want validation.

LittleBlueBee · 15/09/2020 09:23

We have 4 children and dh earns 32k
I don't currently work and we don't have spare cash and don't run a car but we always have food and go on days out occasionally. Hoping to work soon but even then I'll only be bringing in an additional 10k probably

Rightthen24 · 15/09/2020 09:26

Again, a hate these pointless threads. Who cares, why compare yourself to others.

UnfinishedSymphon · 15/09/2020 09:27

@Rightthen24

I dont really understand the point of this thread 🙈 all responses from OP are 'showy and look at me'
Totally with you on this
LuckyAmy1986 · 15/09/2020 10:14

It's over 3800 a month take home

Not everything is always as it seems though is it? You can pop in someone's salary and think you know what they take home, but you might not, especially when it comes to higher rate tax payers etc. Child benefit is lost, or you have to pay for it out of your PAYE if you want to keep it, so that could come off someone's salary. A lot of people have student loans that can be quite a bit if they are earning that much, so that comes off. Etc, etc. You can't just assume you know what someone brings home by putting their salary into a calculator!

Megan2018 · 15/09/2020 10:26

This is our rough breakdown:

Mortgage and bills £1350
Nursery £700
2 cars £500
Food £500
Horse £500
Credit card £250

We get just under £4k take home, leaves about £200 for clothes, gifts, eating out, holidays, repairs to house etc etc.

If we didn’t have horse then definitely easier (but boring), when we don’t have nursery it’ll be great!

The credit card funded my mat leave - unexpected but much wanted baby. Unfortunately we’d just moved house which wiped out all our savings when she arrived. Bad timing but no regrets!

Florencex · 15/09/2020 10:36

I am outside London but in SE. It would be hard to find a rental for £900 around here, I think £1500 more realistic for an average 3 bed house. If that is a mortgage payment then there must have been a very large deposit available.

I would think a combined £60k manageable rather than “really comfortable”.

EinsteinaGogo · 15/09/2020 10:43

It's comfortable for you, yes, OP, which is lovely.

However - You are both earning that income, so you benefit from personal allowances etc. Your take home of the 'same' amount from a single earner would be a lot less and you also wouldn't qualify for child benefit.

I think you have to also factor in life situations, OP.

You only have one (Young) child.

some people have student loans.

You've not got other responsibilities - eg, If you / DH could be paying maintenance costs.

dontdisturbmenow · 15/09/2020 10:52

A fair amount is paid into our pensions, mine more so than DH but that's him hmm silly man
What's a fair amount? Sounds like not fair enough.

Low childcare costs, not as much into pensions as should. Yep, that explains why you're ok in that amount and many are not.

BathedInLavender · 15/09/2020 11:19

How have you got 15 free hours now and then expecting 30 hours in January? Are you actually talking about a change in circumstances which will make you eligible for 30 instead of 15?

DC gets 15 hours funded from when he was 2. He gets 30 in January because I think anyone earning less than 100k gets them if they have a 3/4 year old

OP posts:
theemmadilemma · 15/09/2020 11:22

It's reasonable, not very comfortable, no.

Also SE, combined 110. Still wouldn't say that was 'very comfortable'. Comfortable certainly.

MillieEpple · 15/09/2020 12:18

Maybe its better to consider whats uncomfortable? So are your shoes wearing thin, are you cold because you cant put the heating on, are you limiting showers so a bit uncomfortable that you smell, are you a bit hungry because your stretching food out. Or is it a feeling of discomfort that its all very precarious - you've covered those comfort but you are just 3 pay checks from homelessness or one broken boiler away from struggling and it leaves a feeling of mild discomfort even though its ok right this second.

Im a bit bemused at the idea you need foreign holidays to be comfortable. I love a good holiday but they dont effect my comfort level.

BritneyS · 15/09/2020 12:43

Low childcare costs, not as much into pensions as should. Yep, that explains why you're ok in that amount and many are not.

Yes I’m not really sure the specifics here but I am just not convinced by your maths.

I would assume your take home is about 2800 (but could be wildly wrong).

1000 housing
350 car
150 childcare
30 phones
80 swimming lessons
50 gym
Which is £1760 before you’ve even included anything else. I can’t see CT, utilities, insurances being less than £400 and I’d be shocked if your food bill was less than £75 /week so another £300. Thats £700. Total £2460. Leaves you with £340. I can’t see that stretching over everything you’ve mentioned.

I think that’s why I’m struggling with this. All the “oh no another comparison thread!” posts are frustrating because I think openness about money and spending is a great way to combat some of the issues at hand. But we have another thread that isn’t open and honest, quite the opposite. I see smoke and mirrors. Not just here, but everywhere. So many people seem to want to show off how much they spend and how far their holidays were and how big their DCs Christmas present mountain is or whatever and it baffles me. I have hairdresser “friends” in 50k range rovers. Where’s the honesty? Why does it so often feel like a competition?

DH lost his job this year and we were so lucky to have been saving about 15% of our earnings. We also both put 10% into our pension pot. We’re now on around £60k take home and are affording the 15% savings by sacrificing some of the things OP has. Which is fine for us. I’d still love to know where the discrepancy is but fear I’m not going to get it.

OP you obviously are comfortable because you can afford so many of the wonderful things you’ve mentioned. I would indeed say that is “comfortable”. I just hate the tone that others should be comfortable on the same when I don’t see a particularly useful or robust awareness of what your incomings and outgoings actually are. It’s a half assed conversation.

bakereld · 15/09/2020 12:48

It's always interesting reading the replies on these threads.

Me and DP are in our mid to late 20s and earn just over 60k combined, just starting out in our careers. We live in Yorkshire and feel extremely comfortable.

However, our lifestyle and choices aren't extravagant, we bought at the lower end of our mortgage affordability, second hand cars owned outright, shop at Aldi and Iceland mostly with a Waitrose shop thrown in every few weeks, no expensive hobbies etc. We are definitely 'savers' rather than 'spenders', so I think this adds to our feeling of being comfortable?

I am also aware of the fact we don't have any children, which seems to eat up a lot of people's money. However this is a conscious choice of ours as we would prefer more money for 'us' to spend how we want.

SandysMam · 15/09/2020 13:07

I think what the OP is trying to get at is that 60k a year is a decent family income. I totally agree but decent doesn’t seem good enough now days. As pp said, normal people driving around in top of the range designer cars which are usually reserved for celebrities, insta lifestyles. It’s all bullshit and a perfect storm for mental health problems.

CorianderLord · 15/09/2020 13:08

I'd say it's fine and comfortable enough but it's not lots. It's average.

It depends what you're used to though, I'm on £28k before tax and honestly think it's a shit wage. Compared to most of my friends and my partner who are on £40-70k alone.

We do spend too much money on holidays and crap for the house though tbh. I've survived on £17k in London and it was not fun whereas now I am able to save quite a bit.

SJaneS48 · 15/09/2020 13:27

@BritneyS - they are going to be on more than £2.8k take home. I’m on £30k and my take home is £1924 after my pension deduction. They are going to have more like £4K. In the South East with the average house cost starting at £347K for a terrace, of a £60K joint income for many is going to involve a lot of that going on a mortgage. The OP is exceptionally lucky to have ‘only’ £900 going towards housing.

PremierInn · 15/09/2020 13:30

@bakereld

It's always interesting reading the replies on these threads.

Me and DP are in our mid to late 20s and earn just over 60k combined, just starting out in our careers. We live in Yorkshire and feel extremely comfortable.

However, our lifestyle and choices aren't extravagant, we bought at the lower end of our mortgage affordability, second hand cars owned outright, shop at Aldi and Iceland mostly with a Waitrose shop thrown in every few weeks, no expensive hobbies etc. We are definitely 'savers' rather than 'spenders', so I think this adds to our feeling of being comfortable?

I am also aware of the fact we don't have any children, which seems to eat up a lot of people's money. However this is a conscious choice of ours as we would prefer more money for 'us' to spend how we want.

To be honest, most of my money goes on the kids and associated costs. As a dual income no kids household I probably would call that comfortable.
unicornparty · 15/09/2020 13:30

Dp and I earn more than that and don't feel particularly comfortable. I work part time so could increase my hours to earn more which I might do soon.

lakesidefall · 15/09/2020 13:33

When we had no dc we felt very comfortable on that kind on income, the difference that dc made was huge.

BritneyS · 15/09/2020 16:55

@SJaneS48 their income isn’t £60k, it’s £45k

SJaneS48 · 15/09/2020 17:20

@BritneyS, fair does. I went on the £60K in the header but re reading the OPs posts you’re absolutely right as her job is part time. With apologies OP, it would be more factual to have started this post with the more factual figure.

BritneyS · 15/09/2020 17:44

@SJaneS48 yes I don’t blame you for assuming 60k meant 60k... smoke and mirrors!

WombatChocolate · 15/09/2020 17:55

A poster up thread mentioned having lots of money but still feeling worried about money and being from a background where saving was a big issue/burden and that she always worries she's not saving enough.

I think a key part of feeling comfortable is about not feeling worried about money. Different people need a different buffer to feel like that. Those whove talked about previously not having enough for food and who now feel like they are living as royals because they can cover all their bills and perhaps have a small pot of savings show it's not all about how much you've got.

As mentioned before, your income can be vast but your expenditure bigger or you might have historic debts that make you feel uncomfortable even with lots of money.

Lots of people have really good incomes but their massive mortgages plus other monthly payments for things bought on credit mean most of it is gone on pay-day. They are living a good lifestyle but don't feel very secure because a small set-back coukd be financially ruinous if there is no slack in the system.

Some people need to having savings which are not dedicated to anything else to enable them to live their current luxurious lifestyle for 2 or 3 years to feel comfortable. Others need to know they can mend their car or buy a new freezer if it breaks down. Others feel comfortable if they reach the end of the month without running out of cash and a final group are so attuned to being in debt, that thry can actually feel comfortable with significant debt and uncertainty levels as lomg as they stay at that level.

People who ask why they feel hard-up with even good incomes, I think have a number of scenarios going on. The obvious ones are large childcare and large housing costs. The others are not so obvious, but having signicant monthly payments for things bought in credit can take a big chunk - I'm surprised by people mentioning £4-600 a month in cars...that's quite a chunk and very different to the amounts spent per month by those buying cars outright. Paying off credit cards can take hundreds or thousands of some peoples decent incomes each month. Then there are differing levels of expenditure which can leave people feeling comfortable or hard-up. Some will easily spend £200 per month in takeaways and another household nothing. Likewise eating out or new clothes etc. We all get into patterns of expenditure which feel normal to us and so we don't really question and if not much is left at the end of the month after that expenditure we can feel hard up, whether that is £5 on a treat coffee and cake or a £15k holiday. We often forget exactly what we have had with our money,ss well as how much is left.

And we do tend to compare. We compare with friends we were at schoo with or uni friends or work colleagues or those in the playground on the school run. When we hear what others have or don't have we can feel comfortable or hard-up, but it's a surface level comparison because we often don't know if the lifestyle is fully paid for or funded with debt or how those people feel about their finances either.

Being comfortable does require minimum levels of income but beyond that is pretty subjective and also a state of mind. If you feel comfortable it's great, especially if you could sustain some kind of crisis and still feel like that. It doesn't matter if others think they couldn't feel comfortable with what you have....if they have enough for themselves to feel comfortable, well that's good for them and if their state of mind stops them feeling comfortable then that's a big loss for them but doesn't imago the you. Enjoy feeling comfortable...it's a great place to be, especially if you haven't felt that way in the past.

Snailsetssail · 15/09/2020 18:35

@BathedInLavender

How have you got 15 free hours now and then expecting 30 hours in January? Are you actually talking about a change in circumstances which will make you eligible for 30 instead of 15?

DC gets 15 hours funded from when he was 2. He gets 30 in January because I think anyone earning less than 100k gets them if they have a 3/4 year old

Why does he get 15 hours funded from 2 if you earn that amount? It’s meant to be for lower income families.

The 30 hours is for working parents and so people don’t usually get 15 hours from 2, plus 30 hours from 3 unless they have circumstances change.