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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is it unreasonable to think my 14 month old can’t have a bad association with naps and not bedtime?

35 replies

CursesAndMagic · 14/09/2020 18:46

My 14 month old for two days has fought naps to the point where yesterday and today she didn’t nap at all. Last night she slept 6:20pm-6:50am I tried for her nap at 1pm (nap time is usually 12pm). She’s going into her room and having her pre nap water fine but then is screaming and screaming when we start doing our settle and wind down routine. She usually self settles to sleep every night and nap but these two days she isn’t stopping screaming to calm down just getting herself worked up to the point she’s sweating and her face is red from all the crying and screaming. She resists being held but is fine out of her room.

Am I being unreasonable to think she can have no bad time going down for bed and no fight and self settling then but not for naps? I know she’s tired enough at 1pm and even 11 showing major signs of tiredness. Today I tried nap at 1pm and 3pm when she started showing slight sleepy signs but wasn’t exhausted and she fought and fought no matter what I did. This morning 50 minutes and still no sleep. I’m so confused. Are we giving up naps all together at 14 months?

She only has ONE nap a day usually. I emphasises this because I know this is the age they usually transition.

OP posts:
Original poster
CursesAndMagic · 14/09/2020 19:07

She will start resisting as soon as I start the sleep routine.

OP posts:
Original poster
CursesAndMagic · 14/09/2020 19:08

I’m unsure what’s happened but she still self settles and sleeps 12-13 hours for bedtime.

OP posts:
Fatted · 14/09/2020 19:12

What happens if you leave nap? Can she ride it out or is she tired/flagging?

My youngest gave up naps completely around 18 months. So it does happen earlier than people say. That being said, he would happily sleep on the go and would nod off on the sofa, in the pram or car etc if he was tired. We weren't able to have him nap in the cot every day because of eldest's school routine and my work schedule.

WellQualifiedToRepresentTheLBC · 14/09/2020 19:20

If it were me I would let her stay awake and relish the extra time to myself in the evening!

Who cares how old she is or when she is "supposed" to stop napping - clearly she doesn't want to nap, so let her get on with it. What are you afraid will happen if you follow her lead?

My DS dropped naps around age 3, when he was 7 he had a brief spell when he napped again, now he isn't again. My friend's DD never napped from 12 months on. Just follow their lead unless there is a burning reason not to...

Original poster
CursesAndMagic · 14/09/2020 19:20

@Fatted she’s flagging sometimes to be honest it’s like she’s exhausted by 11 but won’t sleep then so we usually have a 12-1 nap and she sleeps anywhere from 40 mins to 1.5 hours usually I don’t know what’s changed these past two days really. She will get cranky more prone to tantrum but big chunks of the day she’s happy and playing. She did fall asleep today in car for about 3 minutes which she never ever does. She never naps anywhere except her bed. Would she go to bed ok if it was a bad association? I don’t know what to do. That’s the only time of day I can relax without having to do anything 😂 I’m tired.

OP posts:
celerystix · 14/09/2020 19:26

It's probably just a phase. My DD1 started resisting naps really early around 18 months and I thought that was the end but after about a week of no naps she started falling asleep in the buggy in the afternoons so I went back to napping her in the cot at lunchtime with success!

In saying that, I have a friend whose DD dropped all daytime naps at 14 months. Sorry OP!

Original poster
CursesAndMagic · 14/09/2020 19:29

Screaming that hard though for just a nap? Two days ago she went down for naps fine I don’t get what has changed. She’s a but too cranky in the day for no naps really.

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EatDessertFirst · 14/09/2020 19:29

My two dropped naps at 14 months and 16 months respectively. Sorry OP, looks like naptime is over! You have much sympathy though. I loved that hour of peace to drink hot tea and get shit done.

Original poster
CursesAndMagic · 14/09/2020 19:32

I love that hour too. She gets cranky, clumsy in periods but other parts of the day is fine (overtired) but fine.

OP posts:
Dumbie · 14/09/2020 19:32

Sounds overtired to me
Have you tried a nap at 10.30/11?

Original poster
CursesAndMagic · 14/09/2020 19:34

Yes! Tried yesterday 10:30 11 12 1 and 3

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Original poster
CursesAndMagic · 14/09/2020 19:49

It’s the fact she’s screaming and fighting so hard no matter what time unless it’s bedtime where she’s an angel

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Ffsffsffsffsffs · 14/09/2020 20:07

Have you tried going out for a walk/drive at nap time op? Get dc in the pram/pushchair and head out for a bit - might be the movement soon gets her off to sleep, and the change of scenery fresh air will do you good too.

Original poster
CursesAndMagic · 14/09/2020 20:08

@Ffsffsffsffsffs yes I’ve tried 😂 took her out walking yesterday and tried her after that and nothing she won’t nap in the pram or car really she never has.

OP posts:
LyndzB · 14/09/2020 20:11

I can only get 20 month to nap in pram. And he sleeps well at night. But won't sleep in his cot in the day. May be worth a try?

Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 14/09/2020 20:16

Well its only been 2 days. I would try taking her out in the buggy or the pram a few more times see if she will nap then.
I doubt she is giving them up permanently. I'm a childminder and have seen this a few times. Sometimes the babies or younger children I have can go keep going for longer than the 2 year olds.
How active is she? Does she walk/crawl around a lot?

Original poster
CursesAndMagic · 14/09/2020 20:17

@LyndzB I have tried before and yesterday we went on a 45 min walk in pram and she didn’t sleep and I also took her out without her pram earlier today and she didn’t nap after the exercise either. She’s really fighting it.

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Original poster
CursesAndMagic · 14/09/2020 20:18

@Iminaglasscaseofemotion yes she’s very very active. I just don’t get why she’s fighting so hard as soon as we start nap routine it she goes into cot.

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Skyla2005 · 14/09/2020 20:21

I would just leave the daytime nap in cot for a few days and take her out in the buggy instead she will probably drop off for a nap. Probably a phase and no point stressing if bedtime is still fine.

Original poster
CursesAndMagic · 14/09/2020 20:21

@Iminaglasscaseofemotion but sleeps fine for bed

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Dinosauratemydaffodils · 14/09/2020 20:26

My eldest stopped napping by then but would settle for bed at night fine. His sister wasn't far behind.

Could you try making a quiet nap space in the sitting room or wherever you are?

Original poster
CursesAndMagic · 14/09/2020 20:32

@Dinosauratemydaffodils not really she’s very distracted by everything and needs the dark nothing in cot and dummy to sleep if I’m there she won’t sleep at all she needs boring. I’ve tried to get her to nap everywhere this past month and it’s a no go

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PoodleMoth · 14/09/2020 20:34

Mine both gave up their naps around that age (both were always great sleepers at night). My youngest (almost 2) still gets a little grumpy occasionally during the day but 10-20mins tv and sit on the sofa chill time and she is raring to go again. The odd time she has had a nap (accidental as she fallen asleep in the buggy) it takes her mich longer to get to sleep on a night.

Original poster
CursesAndMagic · 14/09/2020 20:38

@PoodleMoth really? Around 14 months

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Dinosauratemydaffodils · 14/09/2020 20:49

not really she’s very distracted by everything and needs the dark nothing in cot and dummy to sleep if I’m there she won’t sleep at all she needs boring.

My two are just like that, dc2 wouldn't even sleep in the car. Currently still wide awake aged 5 and 2 respectively having been up since early this morning (they are in bed). Apparently dh and I both had far too many distractions to sleep too.