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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Aibu

7 replies

Rainbowsparkles19 · 14/09/2020 18:02

Me & my fiancé are hoping to get married at the beginning of next year. Unfortunately we haven't been able to paln anything yet due to covid. We're planning a very small registry office wedding with just family & friends. However I don't want to invite my sister. We have been estranged for quite a while, although I have tried to fix this on numerous occasions only to be largely ignored. She has made it clear she dislikes my H2B & has said some horrible things about him, thrown various accusations at him to me & other people. Non of the accusations were true & even when she discovered this she hasn't apologised to my fiancé or me once.
I told me parents that I don't want her there but they keep trying to send me on a guilt trip by saying she'll crushed if I don't invite her & she's my sister.
She has also made no effort with seeing our son (her nephew). She's seen him only twice & he's now 18 months old.
I just wondered if there is anyone else in the same position? xxx

OP posts:
CareBear50 · 14/09/2020 21:18

Sorry, but if you post in AIBU, it's a little annoying for others to have to open the thread to see what it's actually about - your title is also 'aibu'

You may get more traffic if you report your thread and ask admin to change your title

MiddleClassProblem · 14/09/2020 21:25

Invite who you want as long as you can handle that it might be nc for ever with your sister. It sounds like you are more invested in her than vice verse anyway so it’s going to hurt you and your parents than her.

Twice in 18 months is more than some tbh though but maybe you live around the corner from each other.

Ludo19 · 14/09/2020 21:26

Nope. Tell your parents it's your wedding and to stop the guilt tripping. There's no way she should be there to spoil your day!

housemdwaswrong · 14/09/2020 21:32

I went NC with my sister last year, after loads of effort to resettable a relationship.

I'm saying this so you know I'm biased, but I wouldn't feel you have to. You're wedding you're choice. My sister would make it about her somehow and it would be a right drama... depends why you reslly don't want her there I suppose.

housemdwaswrong · 14/09/2020 21:35

sorry, long day. She doesn't like your husband and makes snide comments? If you'd rather not have that on your wedding day you know what to do. People make the mistake of thinking sisters/ siblings are a lasting unquestioned bond.

You shouldn't have to put up with that on your wedding day. No chance.

housemdwaswrong · 14/09/2020 21:35

*your

DreamingofItaly · 14/09/2020 22:19

Don't invite her. We didn't invite DH's brother to our wedding. DMIL was not impressed and told anyone she could how much of a shame she thought it was (but rather less politely).

Ultimately you're spending a day with everyone and buying them all dinner (I assume) if you wouldn't do this on an ordinary day, why would you do it on one of the most important and memorable days of your life?

Your wedding. Your choice.
Congratulations by the way!

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