To completely relocate 200 miles away for a good school (and lifestyle)

[hairychinsrus]

Hello all
My DS is 9 and in year 4, starting to think and look at secondary schools in the local area and they are pretty average at best.
He's a good kid reasonably academic, very sporting but not confident and I'm worried he's going to get lost.
I've found a private school in a beautiful part of the Uk where we have been on many times.
We could afford to wipe off £100k off our mortgage and therefore he could attend this school we would have a similar type of house and be near a beach with good commuter links (I work from home) The reviews are excellent as are the academic results. I've got an open day booked for mid October to go and suss it out
The only thing really holding us here is my guilt towards elderly parents who I don't enjoy spending time with (absolute narcissist the pair of them) and my sons football team and friends.
We are either absolutely bonkers or it's a good idea and I just need to ask if I am absolutely mad?

I’d be phoning the estate agent, not posting here! Go for it!

Seems a no brainer - do it!

Ah thank you for the thumbs up, it's either genius or a double shit idea. Had the house valued but I'm just too scared to go ahead and sign!!!

If you'd said you were close to your parents I would maybe have said differently but given what you've said...go!

Even without the school issue, the quality of life sounds better. Do it.

I don’t think you’d regret it, it sounds like win win.

My daughter was only 1 when I realised I could not send her to secondary school where we lived. 18 months of research and we moved 60 miles to somewhere we hadn't even heard of before she was born. Best thing I ever did. We absolutely love it here now and not only are the schools a million times better but so is everything else. Didn't realise how shit the last place was as it was all we knew.

Sounds ideal! Just don't let your parents make you feel guilty, your child is the priority

We did it, not for a school, although that did happen later.
You have to do what's right for your family as your parents did for you, irrespective of them being narcissist or not.
Your son will make new friends and join a new team and soon forget the others, honestly.
The two of ours who we moved with (our last one wasn't even thought about) kept in touch for a while to help them settle but honestly it doesn't take long.
They are now grown ups and occasionally go back to visit the area and some family friends we kept in contact with.
Our eldest plans to take his kids when it's a bit safer in B&B's/ hotels etc.

We moved from the southeast 100 miles away for schools, in the countryside, near the sea. Fantastic move, we've all loved it.

I recently moved 120 miles from Birmingham city centre to the Yorkshire countryside with DS who is 3 and DD to be. I LOVE IT. Regardless of schooling the way of life is just so much better. I'm so happy to be out of the rat run. I visit family once a month if possible.

We moved to the coast when eldest was yr4 (now year 10) as we wanted a lifestyle change. Best decision we ever made. Best age to move in terms of making new friends and settling before thinking about secondary. The thing that made up our minds was the nagging doubt that we'd regret not doing it and spend our lives thinking what if.

Yes, to go ahead with it, if it's really in your heart to make changes in your life. Lots of people would like to follow a dream as such, but dither about it all. Children can adapt to going to a different area, and school etc.

I'd be checking out state schools in that area - if they are good then may save you even more money

Agree check out state schools in the area and check out the area in more detail (a beach is lovely but the uk has lots of them).

Moving in general seems a no brainer but I wouldnt hook all my plans to one particular school. What happens if he hates it?

It sounds like a wonderful opportunity for you & your children.

We moved at end of year 4 150 or so miles. Main motivator was school for dd3.
Beautiful area, excellent secondary school, 15 mins to the sea.

Thank you ALL so much for your lovely and positive comments. Agree that I need to do what's best for us and not let my parents guilt trip me out of it.
The school is in wales so will check out the local schools as well

We moved 3,000 miles for better quality of life and schools. Never regretted it :-)

Relationships with difficult parents often improve with distance. Go for it.

@hairychinsrus

The only thing really holding us here is my guilt towards elderly parents who I don't enjoy spending time with (absolute narcissist the pair of them)
That would be a Win-Win then!

Only tell them once you've committed. 🌹

Fairly unusual to move for a private school rather than a great state. Definitely check it out thoroughly to make sure it's the right fit for DC, and to make sure it's rock solid viable as covid/redundancies could topple a few. But it sounds like there's benefits to moving anyhow.

(Also obviously factor in that your DS will have to catch up on the Welsh language in some schools, though perhaps not for the private)

Go for it op!

We recently moved (only 18 miles) and we are so happy.
People spend far too long in places, there is a big world out there.

Just make sure the town isn't cheaper due to lack of opportunities and investments.

Otherwise, move!