Ill friend at a social event

[bustybetty]

I went to an outdoor social event on Saturday and I was disgusted to see a 'friend' there who was visibly ill. He was coughing, and looked and sounded unwell. AIBU to feel its irresponsible to turn up in this state. I kept my distance but he was even near the BBQ and cooking food. I'm being made out to be the bad guy at thinking its off, I'm annoyed as I have told my parents to avoid me now for two weeks just in case as they shielded for 4 months and I'm the only person they see. Opinions please!

YANBU, OP. People still don't seem to take this seriously. One my teenage daughters volunteers for t RIding For the Disabled, they have some very ill and immune compromised children coming to them. One of the other volunteers had a hacking cough last week, one she has had for two weeks and according to her social media, she doesn't practice social distancing or believe Covid is of concern at all. My daughter raised her concerns with one of the organisers and was told not to worry about it! They have children coming for lessons who are recovering from cancer treatment, it doesn't need to be Covid to kill them! I really would have thought people would change their attitudes about spreading any sort of bug around, but it seems not.

Regardless of whether he potentially had Covid, he shouldn’t have been cooking other people’s food If he was ill. He shouldn’t have done it and you shouldn’t have stayed to eat his germ-ridden food. Yuck.

‘ I'm being made out to be the bad guy’: by whom?

When you go out or attend social events you don’t determine others’ choices/actions. Your choices were to stay there and ask him to leave (or ask your host to ask him to leave), stay and say nothing, or to leave. You chose to stay: your choice and responsibility.

YANBU, he was very selfish and cooking and handling peoples food when you are sick is revolting. Me and the children have had colds since they've been back at school, and as usual we haven't gone round to visit nana to share our germs around the family because we aren't assholes.

It’s funny how so many people are telling OP she should have left and flying around all possible reasons he’s unwell.... yet, every post a mum
Mentions a kid has a cold everyone is like ISOLATE, KEEP THE WHOLE FAMILY HOME DON’T BE SELFISH.

Sounds like he just had a bad cold to be honest. I'm sick and tired of the paranoia surrounding Covid. People are going to be scared to sneeze!
I get where you're coming from though OP, he'd have been better stopping home and recovering. I'd be put off seeing someone sneezing and coughing all over a BBQ, even pre-covid.

Big private event was it?

Moved to a table as far away as possible from the person in question? So we are not talking about an event with one or two tables then.

This person might not have been acting in the right way, but it also doesn't sound like you are trying to keep your risk really low either. You were socialising in a large group sharing food cooked by someone who, from what you've said, doesn't sound like they own a venue or work in a professional capacity...

Sounds like you want to make a drama of it, by using your parents as an excuse, but really they shouldn't really be coming into it as particularly revelant.

That would have really pissed me off, and he was being really selfish.

I wouldn't of gone to the event in the first place, especially with numbers rising and I'm the only person my shielded parents see (As you have stated)

Well he shouldn't have been there I'll give you that but seeing as you describe him as a friend you should have asked how he was maybe

@RedToothBrush

No different to being in a restaurant really!

This is the problem of special occasions. People feel they 'should' attend (or that they have spent a lot to attend). It is why people go on holiday, attend weddings etc when they are ill and really should stay home.

It doesnt matter if it is Covid, flu or norovirus. We see it at work as everyone feels compelled to be at work when they are unwell.

This is why I just don't go out.
I have brittle asthma and cough frequently and often look like shit.
Staying in is much easier than being judged.

This is why I hate all the scaremongering in the press and the covid Marshall ideas.
My son has lung conditions. My DH has lung disease. Both cough. In fact we are about to hit the time of year when both will pick up seasonal coughs and be hit hard.
Anytime either coughs, we get looked at like utter bastards. One woman in a car park a few weeks ago now heard DS cough and she went mental at me, telling me I'm irresponsible, and no one wants his germs and I should be reported. She took a photo of our car numberplate apparently to report us to police for being super spreaders. DS was so upset. He has had kids be mean to him over the years about his illnesses but not an adult.
Not everyone who coughs is trying to kill you with Covid. Please, and I say this as politely as possible, get a grip and some perspective too.
It's a shitty time for people with underlying health issues without people being rude too.