How to tolerate my mother in law

[KellyB95]

She's a hypochondriac, doesn't get headaches, cold and coughs, she gets migraines, chest infections and the flu. She checks herself in to A&E on Facebook and genuinely does the infamous, 'I'll PM you hun' when people ask her what is wrong. She never apologises when she's wrong and bigs herself up all the time. She always has to be "in control" of our relationship and have the upper hand, for example, if she asks to see and and I say we are busy, she responds how she was really too busy to see us anyway, and she will have to find another day to fit us in to her schedule? 😂 She's a great nan so I do have to tolerate her but my God. Is there a name for these type of people? Tips on how to put up with it please!

Put her on mute on facebook
Let your husband do 90% of all communication

@Shoxfordian

Put her on mute on facebook Let your husband do 90% of all communication

Great advice.

Yep husband does communication and social organising. You act polite when you see her.

I live with mine. She’s more than a hypochondriac if you can say that. She has health conditions but doesn’t take her meds properly, stinks up the house, and thinks she knows more than the doctors and pharmacist. Miraculously in lockdown she hasn’t had 59 headaches and pains requiring hospital and doctor visits.

I try not to talk to her. Just being under the same roof is pushing me over the edge. I don’t like her and don’t speak to her if I can manage it.

Just let your DH deal with it all.

FML

Yours has the merit of being a decent nan. My dc grandma barely says two words to the child.

Sounds like my mother. I always have a story to hand about someone who's properly ill to shut her up.

mum: i've got an appointment with the consultant on Monday as my hand is still so sore (she trapped it in a door when she was pissed). The consultant says it's terrible I'm still suffering with it after all these months.

me: oh dear, hope that goes well. MIL is in hospital as well next week, having the plaque scraped from the vein in her neck as it's making her blind.

mum: oh

Cripes my ils never had my mobile number!!
..

Mine is a cunt. Yet I always found myself apologetic to her when trying to put in boundaries.

I had an epiphany where I was going to stand up for myself, and if my DH wouldn't support me then I don't want to be married to him either.

So, I no longer apologise. I say what I think. And for the first time in her life she doesn't know what to do.

"No that doesn't work me, I'm busy".
"Stop undermining my decisions in front of the children".
"Well that's none of your business is it".
"You don't have to like it as you don't live here".

I'm not nasty - I'm direct. DH can't argue as I will plainly tell him that I wouldn't tolerate that from my own mother so why should I from his?

He facilitates 99% of the arrangements for her seeing the children. I'm polite and nice during family functions when I have to deal with it.

Trust me - being confident in your own decisions leaves them unnerved and you will feel a whole host better for it.

Miraculously in lockdown she hasn’t had 59 headaches and pains requiring hospital and doctor visits.

!!!!! i was saying the exact same thing to DH about DM this morning.

Seriously she used to go weekly almost to see her favorite GP (group practice - but one in particular deserved the special voice you usually hear when some people talk about the royals) but has been miraculously healthy these last 6 months

Anyway, OP, best advice, leave your DH to deal with her. At least she's good gran.

Thanks everyone, unfortunately I have to be in contact with her for the kids as DH works away

Me mother in law and I speak different languages, try it, it’s great.

Yep mine calls yo wanting to go to A and E and I hate people wasting hospital time. One morning she called continuously at 5.30am asking us to drive her to hospital as she been sick twice during the night! Erm drink water and rest ffs. The next time was when she had a UTI and the GP prescribed antibiotics and paracetamol. She hadn’t taken them as she ‘doesn’t like taking pills’ A and E would just tell her to take her medication. She also complained that her sore knee wasn’t any better after taking just one 500mg paracetamol. Told her take 1000mg 4 x a day and it has a cumulative effect ‘but what if I get addicted?’ To paracetamol????

Also she had bowel cancer apparently when she had wind! Lung cancer with a cough that was caused by working in a charity shop due to dust....