To not look after kitten when finding out ...

[Dyinginsideatthecringe]

Hello,

This is gonna be a bit of a long post but I genuinely don't know if I'm being unreasonable, if I am then fair enough but I need some outside opinions.

Me and my sister foster for the same rescue (although I no longer do it due to being pregnant) I have my own five cats (one adopted from the rescue) and my sister has no cats. They got a litter of poorly kittens who were suffering from FIP, 4/5 kittens died and my sister fostered the surviving one. I never fostered poorly cats as it was a risk to my own.

She asked me to look after this kitten while she went on holiday as originally she asked her daughter but they fell out over coffee and I said yes but I thought the kitten had FIV which can only be passed through bites and saliva so figured he couldn't do much damage as he's a baby so was no risk of passing the virus onto my cats.

So she asked three weeks ago but has since made up with her daughter and nothing was mentioned about it again so I assumed (I know this is my fault) that her daughter was looking after the kitten again as originally planned but then yesterday my mum was like oh your sister is coming tomorrow at 6 to drop the kitten off and I genuinely had no idea about it, I would have thought maybe before the weekend she could have text to say "oh what time can I come on Monday etc" but it literally just came out of the blue so I was like yeah okay.

I then double checked with the rescue to make sure as long as he doesn't bite and break skin on my cats everything should be relatively safe etc which then the rescue told me he had FIP not FIV which is a mutation of the cornovirus in cats and it can be spread through litter and food so explained I couldn't really keep him separate from my cats and if he's still a risk and they said they don't know if he's a danger or not, they honestly couldn't say as they didn't know whether he was a carrier so I told my sister I wasn't comfortable having him as the rescue doesn't know if he's a carrier or not - my sister went absolutely mad and messaged the rescue who then messaged me to say I'm over reacting and it's not contagious (cornovirus is but not FIP) etc and I could bring the virus in off the street in which I replied fair enough if I bring it off the street then that's my issue but knowingly putting a kitten which may or may not be a carrier in the middle of my cats is different and if they do get poorly whose going to pay my vet bills? (Obviously that's not really my concern, I'd be devastated to lose any of my animals)
So I just told my sister I was sorry, I'm 20 weeks pregnant, with five cats and two dogs and I don't feel comfortable with the risk and apologised for saying yes when I didn't know the full ins and outs etc she's now rung my mum calling me all the names under the sun but one of the other fosterers has offered to take him so it's all been solved but I can't decide if I'm being unreasonable - I just want to protect my own cats.

You've done nothing wrong and your sister sounds unhinged.

'Coronavirus' is a bit of a red herring here given the times we are living in. This is a cat disease that has been around for decades. Ultimately though, you do not want a sick cat that could infect your own.

I dont think you should have agreed to look after an ill cat when you have your own pets. And I think the foster place is being irresponsible, how can they possibly say it's not contagious? How has the cat caught it then?
You're not unreasonable to not look after the cat but you're unreasonable to not have dealt with it at all since she asked you, you really should have checked what the cat had, and checked whether she'd made different arrangements rather than just assuming.

You are not being unreasonable.

I had 2 kittens, one just had coronavirus, the other it developed into FIP and she died. I thought this was pretty much a certainty in those that do develop FIP but I could be wrong.

Our other cat has survived, with lifelong intestinal damage as he was around it so much. He can only have vet food. We did have him tested (blood test) and we know he is a carrier of the coronavirus, so we have not got another cat, and he does not mix with other cats.

I know the risk is small of it developing into FIP to other cats, but it isn’t something I would risk.

For next time, could your sister get her cat tested to see if a carrier? Most cats shed it and don’t become carriers?

She's overreacting. But you should not have let her down at the last minute. If you were going to check what disease he had with the shelter, you should have done it sooner, so she didn't panic about alternate arrangements. I don't think she should have had to text you to confirm she wanted you to take him. A plan had been agreed and you changed it at the last minute.

@frogswimming

She's overreacting. But you should not have let her down at the last minute. If you were going to check what disease he had with the shelter, you should have done it sooner, so she didn't panic about alternate arrangements. I don't think she should have had to text you to confirm she wanted you to take him. A plan had been agreed and you changed it at the last minute.

I agree, I should have doubled checked a lot sooner but my family is very fickle and I just assumed her daughter would be having him again like originally planned - there wasn't really a plan in place, she just asked me to have him while she was holiday and I stupidly said yes (mostly because I felt awkward, even if he weren't poorly. I'm pregnant with seven animals of my own so I know it was my bad) but there was never a time and date arranged to drop him off - all I know is she's going on holiday this week, I don't even know what day.

If anyone is communicating last minute it's the sister, who actually didn't even bother to communicate directly with the OP but via their mum.

Piss poor organisation on your sister's part OP. She also sounds like a drama llama, falling out with her daughter, now you, personally I couldn't be arsed.

@Dyinginsideatthecringewhile I'd take a FIV+ cat I'd not really feel safe with FIP one. I agree, way better to make an alternative arrangement.

Many people have pets and have pet sitting service to look after them when they travel (myself included) so especially if the kitten was high maintenance (as FIP really is) I'd also be inclined to say no. Unless you can 100% guarantee that the kitten will be (sorry for a lack of a better phrase) self-isolated from your pets, I'd not risk it.

Is your sister always high drama hence her falling out with her daughter in the first place...

@RandomMess

Is your sister always high drama hence her falling out with her daughter in the first place...

Sadly yes, her and her daughter fell out because when she went to visit she had no coffee

Thought as much 😂

Leave her to her drama lama!

I don’t think either of you are being U
You can’t take the kitten as it’s a risk to your own cats however you did agree you take it and in your sisters eyes have let her down literally last minute.
So it’s just miscommunication. She should have contacted you to confirm arrangements, but you should have contacted her before to say you can’t take the kitten, rather than the day before.

In her eyes you agreed to look after it 3 weeks ago and never said anything about changing your mind until the day before.

@RandomMess

Thought as much 😂

Leave her to her drama lama!

I just feel terrible now because my mums going on holiday with her and she was having a go at my mum who put the phone down on her and she was meant to take her into town today for last little holidays bits but she hasn't even though we agreed to leave it but my poor mum is gonna get the brunt of it on holiday but I'm just going to leave it now if she wants to fall out with me I'm not that bothered, we're not exactly close for reasons you may be able to tell on the thread haha but I felt a bit like an asshole about it all.