To change school in year 8 or not?

[WeakandWobbly]

My ds was has asd with PDA - diagnosed in year 6, he was not given an ehcp as the SENCo said he was not behind and didn't need extra support. He was in fact having quite a bit of support with literacy, lego therapy, social skills etc in the junior school. Despite having a school plan in his junior school, the transition didn't go well and his secondary school did not put a school plan in place. I only discovered this towards the end of his 1st term in year 7.
Since he started secondary school it's like he's had a personality change. Negative comments, nasty insults, aggressive at home. Horrible. And don't get me started on lockdown. During that time the school ignored him. They clearly had not realised that he was one of their vulnerable children. He was offered no days in school, no phone calls or pastoral support until week 12, when a teacher he'd never met in real life offered to do a lesson with him. Of course he declined! In fact we had to abandon home schooling altogether in May because his anxiety levels were so high and he was having meltdowns left, right and centre.
During lockdown I applied for an EHC needs assessment, which was denied, I appealed and he was assessed in August. He will now get a draft EHC plan in September. This is my opportunity to change school for him - as I was so unhappy with the school at the time (and he was saying he was going to do something to get expelled if we made him go back to that school).
Now it's a new term, and he is suddenly saying he doesn't want to change schools.I know he hates change and he has a few 'friends' (though he has become a bit of a bully I fear). He says his teachers are all 'nice'.
The psychologist said he'd benefit from a school with an asd ARP and my dh and I visited one which we like.
Should we move him, or leave him where he is? We probably won't be able to move him until January of year 8 by the time the plan is formalised.
Any advice gratefully received!! Thanks for reading

Bumping, as hopefully people have some ideas on this. Thank you!

It’s hard to tell from your post. Prelock down did you contact school and push for support? During lockdown did you contact school and ask for help?

Is there any space is your preferred school? If yes, the move will happen within a couple of weeks.

I’d follow the recommendations in the EHCP and make that decision as his parents and what is in his best interests.

@Lockdownseperation yes, I did push for support in Year 7 and it was difficult because for some reason there is a culture of bullying in the school and my ds did not want to be seen having any help in case he got bullied. Something about the way the SEN team were approaching him made him want to run! So he wouldn't engage and they gave up pretty quickly, I think. During lockdown we also sent emails to the school saying he was struggling with the work. No one calls were returned and a generic email saying " keep trying" was all we got. So I was furious by the end of lockdown, and other parents ( without SEN) were similarly surprised at the lack of support for their children.
It's just that he's gone back and seen his friends, had a massive improvement in his mental health - we did speak to CAMHS at one point in lockdown - and we don't know if he'll stay happy or not. I'm just worried that when the next crisis happens we'll wish we'd moved him....

@Milkshake54 the pre-draft EHCP has landed in my lap today, so I need to go through it, and add a few bits as parents. It doesn't specifically say which school he should go to, but I would be very surprised if the current school can meet all of the requests. And we have a few more points to add to the draft during the 15 window too......

p.s. there is space in our preferred school, but he doesn't want to move

It won’t name a specific school until one has been identified and agreed by you as parents. But if it is suggested an ASD specific provision would be beneficial, I’d go with that.
The schools can work with your son around visiting, timetable integration to make it a slow and steady process!
The idea of him not wanting to change is probably around his ASD and anxiety (as I’m sure you are aware, not wishing to tell you how to suck eggs 😂), which isn’t unusually with children who have ASD

It’s difficult when they don’t want to move. Do you know if the new school has a 2 year or 3 year key stage 3? If you are going to move him then ideally that needs to be done and he needs to be settled before GCSE start. The right school can make all the difference to a student but if he is digging his heels in about moving him it may not be a good idea.

Firstly, I do not think this is his decision to make, it's yours (although ask for his input by all means).

To me, his current school sounds pretty awful. That said, he's at an age where being different is very difficult and he may well refuse to engage with specialist services at a new school too.

If you are really undecided then perhaps wait to see what the next few weeks bring and what the people producing his EHCP recommend.

@Porcupineinwaiting yes, I agree that it is our decision as well. He has had real problems getting his head round his diagnosis and can only see the plus points ( such as being very bright and knowledgeable in his pet subject etc) and ignore the difficulties/challenges. In a way this is good because it keeps his self-esteem up. But he is capable of a whole lot more if he gave the teachers a chance to get to know and support him. I will wait to see what the EHCP suggests. You're right, the school is pretty awful, and enormous (270 in each year group) but it's walking distance away and that's good for him to walk. The other school with the ARP for ASD would mean a car journey...

Thanks for all your comments - send more if you think of anything else. I want a watertight EHCP that will get the best out of him. I live in hope!

@Lockdownseperation they new school do their options in Year 8, so I guess that means a 2 year Key stage 3. So he would need to move sooner rather than later

@Milkshake54 that's fine - I'm not offended at all. You're right. My gut feeling is that he hates change. And he's enjoying school much more even than last year because the "COVID bubbles" means that the teachers move - and not the children - around the school. So he is less tired and less likely to leave his pencil case contents in various classes!