To consider moving somewhere I don't like for Dd?

[Whererainfalls]

Nc for this.
In the process of divorcing STBXH. We live in country A, in Southern Europe. Neither he nor I are from this country.
My dad now lives alone in Country B, in Northern Europe.

Dd is 4. We've been to visit my Dad quite a bit, especially when my mother died last year, when Dd stayed in my parents' house for 6 weeks. She went to pre-school when we were there as we had family connections.

Lately, DD keeps talking about how much she misses Grandad, and how she wishes we lived in Country B. It's true that she thrives when we're there, and the lifestyle/people there seem to suit her much more than here. She seems much more outgoing, relaxed, and happy in herself when we're there.
I work from home full-time, so I could do my present job from there just as easily as here.
I didn't like living in Country B when i was a kid because of the climate and the indoorsy lifestyle that the climate imposed, and feel a bit horrified at the thought of moving back, but if it's the best thing for DD, i suppose i could put up with it.

Is this a mad idea? There are cheap Ryanair flight between the two countries, so she could come over often to see her father if he stayed here, but there's even more regular flights between Country B and his country of origin if he went back there, which he keeps threatening to do.

It's just an idea at this stage, and I haven't mentioned it to anyone else yet.

Do you really like living in country A? Do you have good friends/support network there? If you're happy there and hated living in country B then no, you should absolutely not move to please a four year old. I think that would be madness. What if you move and you're miserable - an unhappy mother would have a much greater impact on your DD than the normal feelings of missing a grandparent.

You didn't like living there but you'd put up with it because a 4 year old says she'd prefer it? I don't think she really knows enough to be sure about that.

It's probably far more important that she lives in the same country as both parents than that she sees grandad more.

If he wants to go back to his country of origin, and that would make country B a more convenient place to be than country A, that might be the reason to consider it. Likewise if your dad is going to struggle to live on his own in due course (and him moving to you isn't practical).

Bear in mind that cheap Ryanair flights are not so cheap by the time you add in the costs of accompanying her until she's 16.

I really like living in Country A, but my oldest friends are still in Country B. I don't have friends around me where we live now, but i do have friends in this country, they just live some distance away and i don't see them as often as id like.

We live in a different country than our parents and no way I would move back to my mum just because DD likes to see her.

A 4 year old may not think about a country, she thinks about a holiday with her granddad which is very different to day-to-day life.

At that age we went twice a year to our home country, once for our main holiday for language purposes and once to see the grandparents. They also came once a year to us. Plus Skype that is plenty.

I think having a close relationship with her father is more important unless there are issues regarding this.

Are you sure this is really about your DD? It sounds a bit like you're projecting. Deep down do you want to move? Are you looking for an escape? You need to dig a bit deeper I think. On the face of it moving sounds a bad idea, your DD will be better off with more straightforward access to her father.

I wouldn’t move to please my child but I also wouldn’t consider moving a country away from her father.

Would you be allowed to move your kid to another country from their father. I don't think so, unless he's agreed to it. Haig Convention.