AIBU to want a little reassurance with DS starting reception?

[Tanline20]

So DS started primary school last Monday. It’s a staggered start and he was just in the afternoons 3 hours a day last week. On Friday we were supposed to go in with him for a ‘stay and play’ session to find out info about the school year and which class he would be in (2 classes per year). However the Saturday before he started I received an email to say that due to COVID that would be cancelled and they instead would be uploading a presentation online to talk about the ‘continuous provision to learn through play’. The email also stated that we would be unable to communicate face to face with teachers, and any queries would need to be via email or phonecall.
Every day last week upon dropping him off and collecting him the two teachers didn’t say anything at all. I wasn’t after a big chat because I know there are lots of children and appreciate it isn’t allowed, but even a (socially distance ofc!) reassuring comment as he left would’ve helped. I asked one day if the presentation on Friday would talk about which class the children would be in and was told they’re now not having classes at all, and the two teachers are “sharing them all between us”. 60 kids?! I’m confused as to how this would work.
The presentation that was supposed to be uploaded on Friday to the school website is still not on there, so still none the wiser about what their plan is. I also rang the school and spoke to the very friendly secretary as DS is vegetarian (through his own choice) and asked how the children go about ordering their dinners for next week as we’ve not been given any info on that. She told me the only vegetarian option they have on atm due to a limited menu is a cheese sandwich, which I think is pretty poor, so DS will be having a packed lunch most days, which is annoying when they get free school meals in the infants!
I’m feeling so anxious about everything and I think I’m being a bit daft but I can’t help it. DS doesn’t know any other child at school at all but is a confident little boy so I’m sure he’s fine, he doesn’t give much away though when we ask, but seems happy enough. I think I’m just wanting a little reassurance that in a class of 60 kids he’s not going to get ‘lost’ as a kid who just gets on with stuff quietly, and that he’s settling in ok. I realise it’s only been one week and we chose this school as we were very impressed with it. The school prides itself on its communication with parents apparently however we’ve had none - but it’s weird times ofc. My best friend is a primary school teacher who has restrictions at her own school but even she said it seemed a bit poor considering he’s just joined the school. Am I being over the top worrying so much? Should I ring the school and ask for a bit of feedback or just wait and chill the f**k out a bit?!

I'm not going to vote, because, if you are anxious, then you are anxious - it is nothing to do with if that is reasonable or not.

However, it is perfectly normal to not be getting 'chats' or 'feedback' at this stage. I know you are obviously anxious about your particular ds, but obviously from the teacher's pov, they will have 30 dc. So even 'a minute' would take over half an hour, but realistically, once people start to chat, nobody is moving away after a minute.

It isn't ideal, no. But parents have been having to drop little ones outside nurseries since they started back - from 2 yr old upwards. Putting that in perspective, it makes 4 yr olds look quite capable It is what we are dealing with in trying to get on with life as best as we can in a global pandemic.

Having 2 clsses with 60 dc in Foundation isn't as unusual or strange as it might sound, and actually makes a lot of sense in many ways. Some schools do this mixing Nursery and Reception children.

The food is unfortunate, but again - and this varies hugely school from school - it is to do with the pandemic and the way schools are trying to manage not having children all going into different rooms that other children are also using. Many children are eating packed lunches in their classrooms. I suspect you'll find that his peers are having packed lunches too.

I would ring or email.

I would email the teacher. You don’t have to make a complaint or anything like that. Just a friendly email requesting some info and feedback. I can empathise because mine is also very quiet and can get lost in a group but I’m confident the teachers are doing their best,

The lunches thing is sadly how it is in school at the moment due to Covid. Ours are currently doing no hot food, either you bring in a packed lunch or you have a school packed lunch with us either cheese, ham or tuna. Most schools local to me are doing the same at least until half term.

I am a reception teacher; we are in a two-form entry school and have 60 across the setting.
I'm also the mother of a reception-age child who has started at another school to the one I work in.
I do empathise with you; it's hard to go from a nursery setting where you get lots of feedback, to a school where you get less, and this is exacerbated by the COVID restrictions in place, not allowing adults into the classroom, for example.
As a precious poster suggested, if I spoke to each parent for a minute, it would take me half an hour to release the children at the end of the day. Rest assured that if you child was unhappy, or that there was anything that needed to be communicated, then you would know. So from this, and the fact that you've said he seems happy, I'm sure your child is settling in well. If you have a specific question then email the school.

I am in the same position but I don't think either you or the school are unreasonable. It is just the way things are at the moment.

They would tell you if there were any issues though and DS tells me if he enjoyed it so you can gauge it that way too.

Thanks all. I guess part of it is not knowing what the ‘norm’ is as he’s my first, and also we are not in ‘normal’ time’s! DS has only just finished a private nursery right up until school, and I had to drop him at the door too since he returned. However there would always be a little quick interaction, even a “he’s been great, ate all his dinner!” That’s literally the only sort of thing I meant, of course I wouldn’t expect the teacher to be talking to me for a whole minute every day, just literally anything other than just smiling saying literally no words whatsoever. However, I know it’s very very early days, and I need to trust that it’s a brilliant school and that the teachers are doing the best they can in these circs. By the end of next week I may feel completely reassured.

It is a part of transition to school that teachers are not able to give feedback to each parent. Our school preferred to talk in the morning if there was anything major, asking if a child is ok isn't major. They go by "we talk to you if there is a problem".

We found emailing to the school better than phoning. Purely as it means the office staff can then forward emails to people who can actually anwer them and sort them by urgency.

Food is not ideal but most schools do struggle at the moment, a packed lunch may be the better solution but a cheese sandwich as one meal a day is hardly a disaster.

You and ds have a big adjustment to make so it will take time to feel comfortable, the set up/information flow is so different to a private nursery. I found that weird with my oldest for a few weeks, especially when you are worrying about whether he is settling in OK.

I think if he goes in happily and comes out OK, he's probably OK in between too. Take comfort from that.

The communication does sound a bit poor from the school. I know its tough times but not telling you about the class arrangements is not helpful. Most parents want to talk to their children about what to expect and that isn't possible without information.

My dd started last week. Her school is still doing the normal menu with two hot choices (1 meat, 1 veggie) but I guess the arrangements vary depending on school facilities and their ability to keep everyone safe.