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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

How often do your DC eat 'treats'?

66 replies

UndertheCedartree · 13/09/2020 19:27

I've moved in fulltime with my DC (13 +8) after 3 years of only seeing them at weekends due to me being unwell. I'm just looking at any changes I need to make to their diet. They were just eating cocopops for breakfast but I've added in some cereals for them to have.

I'm wondering how much other DC have 'treats' for want of a better word. I am some issues with food so my perspective on 'normal' can be skewed. I was suprised that most of my 8yos friends have a kitkat or similar at morning playtime.

I have biscuits, chocolate biscuits, cereal bars, nakd bars, crisps in the house regularly. There are also cheese strings/babybels, crackers, hummus and crudites/pitta, crumpets, bagels, fruit, natural yogurt and frozen berries and homemade bananabread/flapjacks etc available. I allow them to pick what they like for a snack. They usually have 2 snacks a day. They probably have a 'treat' everyother day roughly. Is this too much? They are perfect weight and their teeth are fine. Any advice appreciated.

OP posts:
OverTheRainbow88 · 13/09/2020 19:31

If their weight is ‘normal’ and teeth good and they are active And eat healthy main meals I would carry on as you are really.

I would probably try and totally ditch the coco pops though, personally.

My 4 year old probably has what you describe as a treat food twice a week, but this week it’s a birthday week in our house so he’s had cake most days!

lydia7986 · 13/09/2020 19:33

I agree with getting rid of sugary cereals at breakfast. In our house, those were only allowed during the holidays, never in term time.

A daily KitKat isn’t that big a deal though, imo - they’re only 100 calories.

Passthecake30 · 13/09/2020 19:35

Mine have a Kit Kat with their lunch, and often biscuits/crisps/chocolate in the evening. I think if you ration them, you make them more tempting and they might sneak about and buy them themselves - better all out in the open I think.

Findahouse21 · 13/09/2020 19:35

3-4 times per week ideally, when there are no parties, sleepovers etc

Focusanddetermination · 13/09/2020 19:36

My child's food today

Breakfast porridge and strawberry jam
Mid morning biscuit, sweets, huge gooey marshmallow thing
Lunch white toast, jam, cheese string, cucumber, strawberries
Mid afternoon chocolate bar full size, another large marshmallow thing
.. No dinner
Drinks were water

She's skinny for her age.

This is the weekend, during the week the breakfast is always the same, then eats at school, then dinner is meat/fish, veg and usually a smallish chocolate bar.

Boom45 · 13/09/2020 19:38

Since lockdown? Fucking constantly.
You say you've just moved in with them full time after 3 years? I'd be very careful not to make a big deal about food now you're back, food is so emotive and it's a fine line to walk between developing healthy food habits and having pretty arguments about the merits if cheese strings.

JesusInTheCabbageVan · 13/09/2020 19:38

Realistic answers so far. Is MN broken?!

Jellycatspyjamas · 13/09/2020 19:39

I think if you’ve not lived with them for 3 years I’d be making any changes slowly and would certainly be discussing them with the 13 year old and explaining to the 8 year old. That’s a long time to not be involved day by day and their routines will have built up while they’ve been away from you.

Well done on starting to pick things up with them again, what a positive move.

fedupandlookingforchange · 13/09/2020 19:40

Mine has a mix of cereal at breakfast, including all bran, coco pops and rice crisps. He'll have a biscuit a day such as custard cream. A couple of times a day he'll have some home baking such as a ginger bread man, oat biscuit, or whatever else we've baked. Every day theres pudding after dinner, usually a fruit pie or crumble although last night I made pancakes. A few times a week he has some ice cream. I don't tend to have sweets or chocolate except for very special occasions.

vanillandhoney · 13/09/2020 19:41

If their weight is fine and their teeth are healthy, I wouldn't change anything to be honest, especially if you've only just moved back in.

Presumably they've been living with their dad or similar in the meantime? Sounds like whoever has been looking after them has been doing fine.

WoobyWoo · 13/09/2020 19:44

Sounds fine to me, I don’t tend to limit treats tbh and as a result they are pretty self regulatory aged 11 and 9 as there isn’t a fuss over them if that makes sense? We have the odd time where I think woah we’ve gone through too many crisps this week but they are both tall and do a lot of sports, no weight or teeth issues and and eat pretty well generally so I don’t worry about it.

BexR · 13/09/2020 19:50

Mine has quite a lot of treats to be honest, today I think he had a milky way, nutella on toast, bowl of doritos, ice pop, custard cream.

Not ideal but not overweight and no teeth issues so far. He does eat fruit and veg too so it's not all bad.

DolphinsAndNemesis · 13/09/2020 19:51

At those ages I would aim for a couple of times a week. It depends on how you define treats, I suppose. We would definitely not have daily chocolate bars or crisps. But we also don't have a strict "no sugar allowed" house.

I also agree with this post:
I think if you’ve not lived with them for 3 years I’d be making any changes slowly and would certainly be discussing them with the 13 year old and explaining to the 8 year old. That’s a long time to not be involved day by day and their routines will have built up while they’ve been away from you.

Fishfingersandwichplease · 13/09/2020 19:52

Dd is 8 and when she was younger I was very precious about treats. Now she has porridge or weetabix for breakfast or fruit with yogurt. In her lunchbox she always has a small chocolate bar (kitkat or club type of thing) and a packet of crisps. Pre lockdown, she went to the tuck shop at morning break and bought something but they closed it due to covid so l usually put a packet of mini cookies in there. Sounds an awful lot of treats but actually it is about 100 calories per snack and l balance it out with fruit, veg, brown bread and she does lots of exercise. Can't quite believe how much she puts away but l guess she is a growing girl.

firstimemamma · 13/09/2020 19:53

2-3 per week. Ds age 2.

Soonbechrimbo · 13/09/2020 19:57

If you've not lived with DC for 3 years I agree with above and not making any changes right now. I'd even leave the sugary cereal for a while (few months or so then fade out gradually). Just concentrate on bonding and navigating though living together first (especially with the uncertainty of the world as well at the min). Worry about the other things later, its not that big a deal in the grand scheme of things if their teeth and health are good. The changes to their lives however are a big deal right now.

For what it's worth my kids don't have sugary breakfast cereal but otherwise they have crisps/biscuits etc fairly regularly along with healthy stuff.

Hope you're feeling well now OP :)

Jamhandprints · 13/09/2020 20:10

Mine have a packet of crisps most days, between 1 and a million biscuits, cake or cookie once or twice a week, yogurt or jelly most days, ice cream a lot during the summer, every other day or so. Sweets once every week or so when we have a movie night.

What a great variety of snacks you have in, and very healthy to let them choose.
For cereals my kids love multigrain shapes (aldi version) and porridge with honey or jam on top.

Bluntness100 · 13/09/2020 20:13

I think you’re doing just fine op. Kids also need to learn to self regulate. A parent who does it for them leads to an adult who can’t self regulate when they grow up

I’d also stop calling them treats. They are not treats, they are just another type of food to be eaten in moderation. Calling it a treat also leads to issues. Had a bad day, have a treat and cheer yourself up, had a good day, have a treat and celebrate, had a hard day, have a treat you earned it.

They aren’t treats, they are simply food stuffs.

CrunchyNutNC · 13/09/2020 20:23

In our house a normal snack is an apple, a cracker with cheese, some nuts, or brown bread and butter. Snacks aren't dishes out routinely - DC ask for a snack and some days they'll not be particularly hungry and forget to ask. Crisps are a treat, maybe twice a week. After dinner a sweet treat maybe 4 or 5 nights a week but it's something small, e.g. a cube of chocolate, tiny piece of cake, tablespoon of ice cream.

On special occasions there'll be more sweet things, but not routinely week to week.

Beautiful3 · 13/09/2020 20:28

I would get rid of the sugary cereals and allow 2 treats a day.

JustSaying101 · 13/09/2020 20:33

Sounds like you have a great selection of snacks there OP, don't be too hard on yourself! My DC have crisps most days and adore biscuits. If you fancy, you could always make some homemade biscuits/cakes and you can then monitor the sugar content. Or add some sneaky fruits and veggies in like I do for my fussy eaters...!

LilaButterfly · 13/09/2020 20:34

Mine get some treats every day. Especially in summer, theres always ice cream.
They are both really slim, eat healthy for the meals and take care of their teeth, so i have no reason to change it.

formerbabe · 13/09/2020 20:36

Every day.

They're both a healthy weight unlike me

Nikhedonia · 13/09/2020 20:38

Realistic answers so far. Is MN broken?! GrinGrinGrin I thought exactly the same!

RubyAberdeen · 13/09/2020 20:40

I don’t know the background. I’d say tread carefully though.

If you walk back in and start trying to stamp all over everything, they will resent you for it. They will push back. Take your time and do it gradually.

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