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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think my husband doesn’t love me anymore

3 replies

KCpip · 13/09/2020 18:54

Even writing this feels like a huge confession. For some time now I’ve been feeling more and more distant from my husband. We have two children, aged 6 and 3. It feels like we’re either exchanging parenting handovers with each other or I’m with the kids and he’s out doing his hobbies. I can’t remember the last time we put any effort into our relationship. When he’s home in the evening he’s online updating social media posts as part of his hobby, which he’s obsessed with. I feel as though since we’ve had kids we’ve never got “us” back. If I’ve tried to bring this up in the past he’s always brushed over it and said everyone’s the same with kids. But I’m feeling more and more there’s just no effort on his part and I’m feeling less and less interested in trying to make things better. If anyone has been in this situation would love to hear some advice. Is this what other couples do? It doesn’t feel like a healthy balanced relationship but maybe everyone is floating around doing the same as us.

OP posts:
BubblyBarbara · 13/09/2020 18:57

To be fair kids so take over most of the emotional energy that would have previously gone into a relationship especially when you have kids as young as yours. Give it several years and things will start to come back

ConcreteUnderpants · 13/09/2020 19:15

I’m not sure waiting a few years and hoping it will all be is the best remedy!
You are losing the will, he seems to be losing the will. Time for a really honest frank conversation. If he dismisses your concerns again, well you know better where you stand.
Hopefully, even if he can’t see the issue, he can see you are upset.
Communication is key here.
Best of luck.

likeafishneedsabike · 13/09/2020 19:30

When you’re knackered it’s really tempting to do your own thing in the evening and not bother communicating properly. Even sitting watching a programme you both enjoy can help as a way of feeling ‘together’. If I suggest that - and perhaps a child free meal once the kids have gone to bed - what is your reaction? Would it feel like something to look forward to or a chore, OP?

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