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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to still secretly mourn my step family?

5 replies

Opal93 · 13/09/2020 17:00

I’m new here and this is very long. My parents had a very dysfunctional relationship growing up. They were both abusive to each other. Me and my brother witnessed lots of events which we now know are not normal or healthy. And I’ve never had a good bond with my mother. When I was 11, my mum and dad finally split up. The relief I felt was enormous. They split up when my dad found out she had cheated on him. She moved this man into our home and he resented the fact that he had kids and wasn’t nice to us. I was miserable at home. I couldn’t live with my Dad because it was too far away from school. In time, he met a girlfriend and married her. I absolutely adored her and her daughter and saw my step mother as the mother I never had. My Dad promised me if I finished my GCSE’s I could move in with him and go to a college where he lived. I was counting down the months; living with my abusive mother and stepdad felt like a prison sentence. I took solace in weekends when I got to stay with my dad and step family. But when I was 16, not long before I finished school, my mum and dad out of the blue announced they were divorcing their new spouses to get back together! And they had been carrying on together behind everyone’s backs for quite some time! It felt like being punched in the stomach. So my dad moved back in and I was forbidden from having any kind of contact with step family. I tried to keep in touch with my step sister in secret, as we were best friends but my mum found out and put a halt to it. Not long after they got back together, history repeated itself and she continued to cheat on him and treat him like a mug until he died four years ago. And she got straight back into a relationship with ex stepdad after my dad died! I left home at 19 as soon as I could, wanting to concentrate on my own life and not having any more to do with their drama. I’ve been very fortunate to have a great husband and two great kids now, but I still mourn the step family I loved. I’m still so angry at both my mum and dad from ripping the only positive relationships I ever knew away from me, her for everything she has done and him for being such a mug and getting back with my mum. I’ve tried speaking to my mum about how it was traumatic for me and she laughed at me and said people have been through so much worse, that was nothing and I need to get over myself. Now that I am an adult and she is not in control of me, I found ex step sister on Facebook and tried reaching out. She declined! I was really saddened by this as i had hoped maybe we could have had some kind of friendship. I do know my ex step mother was left absolutely broken when my dad left her, and I heard she was devastated when he died but maybe me getting in touch would have stirred up too many emotions and they are in a good place now. So I guess the AIBU is am I unreasonable to still have this bother me after all this time? I really feel like I was robbed of the only decent family I knew, and I am still quite resentful. Sorry this is long and complicated but I’ve no one in real life I can tell all this to! Thanks for replies in advance

OP posts:
Sanitisethat · 13/09/2020 17:02

YANBU, that is terrible. You were treated so badly by your parents. I’m glad you’ve found some peace with your own family, but I understand why it was so hard to lose your step family Flowers

GetThatHelmetOn · 13/09/2020 17:07

Send her a letter, perhaps thanking them for making your childhood bearable and explaining how you feel and how you miss them.

If they ignore it, then you will need to let it go. social media may not be the best way to do it, find a pen and paper Or at least send an email. Perhaps if they hear how you feel they may feel more comfortable to see you.

YANBU, they were your family and in your heart they still are.

FlorenceNightshade · 13/09/2020 22:35

Jeez toxic isn’t even the word for all that! What a horrible experience for you. I agree with writing to your stepfamily, let them know you were totally blindsided too and how much you loved your time together. Let it all out, your hopes for a happy life with them after school everything. Even if they don’t respond you’ll feel better for writing it all down and letting it go out into the world.

billy1966 · 13/09/2020 22:42

OP,
What a terrible story.
I can well imagine you are still grieving them.
They were your only positive experience.
Well done for creating a healthy family.

I agree with the letter idea.

Whatever the outcome, you will have tried.

Perhaps some counselling would help.

Your mother sounds like a poisonous person.

Protect yourself from her.
Flowers

Abracadabra12345 · 13/09/2020 22:49

I agree with a physical letter too. There’s something about letters you can just stuff in a drawer or handbag until you can take it out again to reread and mull over. An email somehow isn’t the same, Just make sure it’s the same address!

I really hope you reconnect x

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