I’m new here and this is very long. My parents had a very dysfunctional relationship growing up. They were both abusive to each other. Me and my brother witnessed lots of events which we now know are not normal or healthy. And I’ve never had a good bond with my mother. When I was 11, my mum and dad finally split up. The relief I felt was enormous. They split up when my dad found out she had cheated on him. She moved this man into our home and he resented the fact that he had kids and wasn’t nice to us. I was miserable at home. I couldn’t live with my Dad because it was too far away from school. In time, he met a girlfriend and married her. I absolutely adored her and her daughter and saw my step mother as the mother I never had. My Dad promised me if I finished my GCSE’s I could move in with him and go to a college where he lived. I was counting down the months; living with my abusive mother and stepdad felt like a prison sentence. I took solace in weekends when I got to stay with my dad and step family. But when I was 16, not long before I finished school, my mum and dad out of the blue announced they were divorcing their new spouses to get back together! And they had been carrying on together behind everyone’s backs for quite some time! It felt like being punched in the stomach. So my dad moved back in and I was forbidden from having any kind of contact with step family. I tried to keep in touch with my step sister in secret, as we were best friends but my mum found out and put a halt to it. Not long after they got back together, history repeated itself and she continued to cheat on him and treat him like a mug until he died four years ago. And she got straight back into a relationship with ex stepdad after my dad died! I left home at 19 as soon as I could, wanting to concentrate on my own life and not having any more to do with their drama. I’ve been very fortunate to have a great husband and two great kids now, but I still mourn the step family I loved. I’m still so angry at both my mum and dad from ripping the only positive relationships I ever knew away from me, her for everything she has done and him for being such a mug and getting back with my mum. I’ve tried speaking to my mum about how it was traumatic for me and she laughed at me and said people have been through so much worse, that was nothing and I need to get over myself. Now that I am an adult and she is not in control of me, I found ex step sister on Facebook and tried reaching out. She declined! I was really saddened by this as i had hoped maybe we could have had some kind of friendship. I do know my ex step mother was left absolutely broken when my dad left her, and I heard she was devastated when he died but maybe me getting in touch would have stirred up too many emotions and they are in a good place now. So I guess the AIBU is am I unreasonable to still have this bother me after all this time? I really feel like I was robbed of the only decent family I knew, and I am still quite resentful. Sorry this is long and complicated but I’ve no one in real life I can tell all this to! Thanks for replies in advance