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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

More of a WWYD - re the mum of ex-partners child?

10 replies

TheAppleTree · 13/09/2020 12:21

When I was 18 (I’m 25 now) I met my ex-partner of 7 years and we were together until a couple of months ago when we sadly split.

When we met, my ex-partner (then 20) had an ex-girlfriend who was pregnant with his child. I use the term ex-girlfriend loosely as by all accounts they had a very casual and brief fling for a few months that resulted in the pregnancy. By the time he met me they were no longer seeing each other but were still in vague contact regarding the pregnancy and he had told her that despite not being together he would support the child etc.

She was pretty scorned by the fact that he didn’t want to make a go of it as a family with her and the child, and this was exasperated further when she found out about me and our relationship - lots of abusive messages from her to me via FB etc. I tried to keep out of it as much as possible and never responded to any of her messages.

A few months into our relationship the child was born and ex-partner managed to see him (DS) a handful of times before she cut contact to spite him. He eventually gave up and came to the conclusion that he would just wait it out until DS was old enough to have a relationship with him without the mum being involved - I didn’t necessarily agree with this decision but it wasn’t mine to make and I could see where he was coming from as she was making it impossible for him.

Fast forward to now and she has obviously discovered via FB stalking that we are no longer together - cue repeated friend requests and messages from her to me trying to ‘get me on side’ regarding ex-partner and how shit of a person he is.

I haven’t responded to any of these which appears to be fuelling the fire as I have woken up this morning to another barrage of friend requests (she makes fake profiles) and messages from her many accounts - photos of her DS, telling me what ex-partner is missing out on etc and suggesting that we as women should be supporting each other.

Don’t get me wrong I am all for supporting other women but I have no interest in starting some sort of friendship with her based on what she is expecting to be a mutual hatred for ex-partner (we had a very amicable split and I don’t harbour any resentment towards him at all).

So WWYD?

Continue to ignore her messages and block each fake profile that she makes? Respond asking her to leave me alone as it has nothing to do with me? Or reach out and embark on some sort of friendship with her?

OP posts:
vodkaredbullgirl · 13/09/2020 12:23

block and ignore

Sunnydaysstillhere · 13/09/2020 12:25

Why on earth would you ever consider a friendship?
Surely being friendless is more appealing??

partofyoupoursoutofme · 13/09/2020 12:26

Just block and forget her. As you are no longer with your ex partner she has even less to do with your life now. It sounds like she's angry, maybe wants to get at your ex? I would stay far out of it.

FudgeBrownie2019 · 13/09/2020 12:26

Just lock down your facebook so you can't get friend requests from people who aren't in your sphere.

MomToTwoBabas · 13/09/2020 12:28

You are petty on how you spoke of their past relationship. They made a child that is not something for you to belittle. He is the biggest douche bag for not bothering with his own flesh and blood. He is no man atall. But for your question, no, you are not petty for blocking the crazy lady. If you are amicable you should tell him and if he can get his head out his arse he might step up finally.

Sanitisethat · 13/09/2020 12:32

Just keep blocking and ignoring. Eventually she will give up.

ZoeTurtle · 13/09/2020 12:38

Well yeah he is an absolutely shit person and she's correct, but you don't need to get involved. Just ignore.

FelicityPike · 13/09/2020 12:44

Block and ignore.
However I hope you now realise what an absolute sit your ex is? 7 years?

WorraLiberty · 13/09/2020 12:47

I'm surprised you're asking

Just block and move on and if you're worried about a barrage of friend requests, change your settings.

Pinkypink · 13/09/2020 12:47

Absolutely ignore and block. Any morsel of contact you offer will quickly become overwhelming.
Her life is not your responsibility to try and put right.

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