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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask the teacher to move DD as the person she sits next to deliberately coughs / breathes in her face

30 replies

nbug · 13/09/2020 10:25

DD was really looking forward to school. The first week they were able to sit next to her friends and then the next week they were told where to sit.

She ended up sitting next to a girl who is very disruptive but that isn't even the issue. DD says when the teacher isn't looking she will deliberately get close into her face and cough and pant . When she has raised this with the teacher she has disregarded it saying of course that's going to happen, she's just next to you, it can't be avoided.

I want to tell the teacher to move her but not sure I'm making a big fuss over this. I don't want to be THAT parent.

OP posts:
TestingTestingWonTooFree · 13/09/2020 10:26

I would make a fuss given the increased risk.

MissEliza · 13/09/2020 10:27

We've been told to send children straight to the head if they do that so definitely kick up a big fuss.

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 13/09/2020 10:27

Our school has very serious consequences for any child found to be deliberately coughing in someone else’s face.

SqidgeBum · 13/09/2020 10:28

My school is excluding for this. Email the tutor or year head. The school should take this very seriously.

BubbleShot · 13/09/2020 10:29

My sons school and the junior, infant school have serious consequences for this and it's been made clear that this behaviour isn't acceptable.
I would get in touch with the teacher about it

Quietlifewanted · 13/09/2020 10:30

The students in my school have been told that if they deliberately or pretend to cough or breathe on people (in a way which is excessive and not normal breathing, in an attempt to intimidate others), this will result in immediate isolation and possible internal exclusion. So not stand for this, it's disgusting. How dare the girl! Contact the school first thing on Monday. Your poor daughter 😠

KihoBebiluPute · 13/09/2020 10:31

during a time of pandemic, deliberately coughing into someone's face is assault. people have been arrested for it. the school needs to take this seriously as much for the wellbeing of this other girl who needs firm indication of the boundaries of acceptable behaviour.

Marzipan12 · 13/09/2020 10:32

If this is a high school email head of year immediately or if primary email head immediately and keep your child at home untill the child is dealt with. At my child's school they would be excluded for this.

Original poster
nbug · 13/09/2020 10:32

It's a primary school btw. I'm glad other schools have told kids this isnt acceptable.

I'm a bit pissed off with her teacher for dismissing her and not taking her seriously.

OP posts:
WithGusto · 13/09/2020 10:33

Well at the start of the Pandemic several people were jailed for doing this to police officers....so the school maybe needs reminding of that!!!

ranoutofquinoaandprosecco · 13/09/2020 10:50

I've just asked my DD who's 9 what school have said about this and she said they were told it's unacceptable and that they would be removed from school straight away.

echt · 13/09/2020 10:53

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BeingATwatItsABingThing · 13/09/2020 10:53

@nbug

It's a primary school btw. I'm glad other schools have told kids this isnt acceptable.

I'm a bit pissed off with her teacher for dismissing her and not taking her seriously.

I work in a primary school. The consequences are very serious.
SBTLove · 13/09/2020 10:55

Why is she sitting next to her? My DD school has all classes sitting individually front facing, similar to exam conditions. I’d be speaking to the school asap

ButterflyBitch · 13/09/2020 10:57

Behaviour policies at my kids school and the school I work at have been amended to take this sort of behaviour in to account. Ask to see their behaviour policy. And yes kick up a stink.

Original poster
nbug · 13/09/2020 10:59

echt Biscuit

OP posts:
BeingATwatItsABingThing · 13/09/2020 11:02

@SBTLove

Why is she sitting next to her? My DD school has all classes sitting individually front facing, similar to exam conditions. I’d be speaking to the school asap
The school are not breaking any guidelines in having them sit next to each other. My school just doesn’t have the space or money for individual desks.
Soubriquet · 13/09/2020 11:02

Kick up a fuss

Be that parent

It’s essentially bullying

ineedaholidaynow · 13/09/2020 11:05

Check the school’s behaviour policy, they should have been amended for anti social COVID behaviour

ineedaholidaynow · 13/09/2020 11:06

@SBTLove very few schools have space/money for individual desks

AvoidingRealHumans · 13/09/2020 11:07

I definitely wouldn't let this go. In normal times it's disgusting but even worse now.

Iggly · 13/09/2020 11:07

Primary school!

That’s even worse IMO.

I would not tolerate this at all. Did you explain clearly to the teacher that this was deliberate, or at the very least, seemed to be deliberate from your dd’s point of view?

Put it in an email and rehearse your lines if you find it difficult to do in person.

WeKnowFrogsGoShaLaLaLaLa · 13/09/2020 11:14

What age primary? I think if it's being used intentionally/in a threatening way then you are absolutely right to follow it up, and keep doing until you are heard.

FWIW, all schools in our borough agreed we are excluding for this and it is being followed through - so you wouldn't be 'that parent' to us.

ineedaholidaynow · 13/09/2020 11:21

Behaviour policy should be on the school website, but check that it has been updated

mnahmnah · 13/09/2020 11:23

At my school this breaks the Covid-specific behaviour code and has fixed term exclusion as the consequence