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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if any of you have change your lives later in life?

31 replies

Kk80 · 13/09/2020 00:11

I'm 34. 3 DC. Single parent but my 2 DS's father sees them 4 times a week (not overnight at the moment due to COVID and his living situation being impacted because of that). DD is 8 (dad not involved and never has been) and my 2 DSs are 5 and 2.

I'm sick of being skint. Was made redundant from a job last year and have been on benefits since topped up by very very casual work locally (was offered the job pre covid, then lockdown happened and the business hasn't really recovered since).

I want to go back to college and university. Make something of myself and actually have a income. I'm sick of living in rented houses and driving 15 year old cars that I'm replacing every 2 years because it is all I have saved up.

Am I being stupid? Has anyone else ever done this?

OP posts:
roadsurvey · 13/09/2020 00:14

I'm 10 years older and just about to begin studying for a certificate of higher education croon with the Open University. It's literally never too late. You are not being stupid and you would be amazed at the numbers of people who do go to college/uni in their 30's, go for it.

PermanentTemporary · 13/09/2020 00:16

Started a degree aged 39, did an A-level the year before that with the National Extension College. Ds was 2 when I started. Make a plan, find support, get busy living.

TheClitterati · 13/09/2020 00:17

I started my law degree age 30.
Had dc at 40 & 43.

Do what you want - you're young at 36.

Original poster
Kk80 · 13/09/2020 00:23

Not sure how to do it. My GCSEs arent great. I have maths and English though. Is it worth me resisting them?

OP posts:
GrumpyHoonMain · 13/09/2020 00:29

Open Uni doesnt require any qualifications but if I were you I’d do a course that is vocational, so you’ll be guaranteed a job and can maybe earn while studying too. Nursing / Midwifery / Paramedics / Teaching / Law / Accounting / Audit all allow you to work as you study depending on the route taken.

AugieMarch · 13/09/2020 00:37

You are not later in life!! You’ve only been an adult for 16 years and are likely to be one for at least 60!! Going back to study is a great idea. I think you sound a bit stuck and that your perception of what life stage you’re at has been skewed by your experiences. You are so young. Most of your life is ahead of you. For what it’s worth, I did a degree and a couple of postgrad qualifications in my 20s and still went back for a masters in my late 30s while my dc were under 10. I’m early 40s now and don’t feel like it’s be anywhere too late to do more study now. Go for it!

CoRhona · 13/09/2020 00:47

I'm nearly 50 and just about to start a part time OU degree.

Go for it 👍

Irisheyesrsmiling · 13/09/2020 04:17

34 is very young, I get it though sometimes I think when you have your dc younger you feel older earlier. I was the same.

Definitely do it. I agree with above poster look into which career/profession carefully. I have friends who went back in late 30's and early 40's for nursing, midwifery, HR, teaching, accounting and social work. All very happy and fulfilled!

F1ng3r12345 · 13/09/2020 04:53

I know someone who trained to be a teacher late 40s

NameChange84 · 13/09/2020 05:04

34 really isn’t later in life...I thought you were in your 60s at the youngest reading the thread title.

Speaking of which, I did my MA at the same time as people in their sixties. One of my teachers had a relative who went to University aged 90. I now teach at a University where I am younger than a lot of the students I see on campus, many of whom are in their 40s and 50s studying for vocational degrees; mainly nursing and allied medical professions, social work, teaching, engineering and so forth.

You have well over 30 years before retirement age. It makes sense to ensure you are in a good career for the remaining decades of your working life.

NameChange84 · 13/09/2020 05:07

And, depending on the course you wish to study, it may be that the best path is an Access course for 18 plus learners which will help prepare you for a degree both academically and mentally.

Havlerr · 13/09/2020 06:15

Go for it! Why wouldn’t you go for something that will give you fulfilment and make a better life for you and your DC?? If you have Maths and English GCSE’s you likely won’t need to retake them. I would recommend looking at job vacancies for careers you may be interested in and read up on their person specification to see if you fit the general idea. Research a few things you may be interested in and then look at how to get there - lots of colleges do access courses and the like.

FWIW I see lots of people have mentioned nursing - I’m a children’s nurse and although I did my degree aged 22, at least 30-40% of my class was 40+. I did A-levels (certainly didn’t do amazing in them!!) but lots of people did an Access course to get onto the degree and I was in no better position than them - possibly worse as my Textiles a level was obvs useless compared to a Nursing Access course! In health care jobs (and plenty others I imagine) it’s quite normal to be a bit older as lots of people come into it after having kids and having some life experience.

ReallySpicyCurry · 13/09/2020 07:13

34 is no age. Go. You won't regret it. I know quite a few people who have done this at a much later age than you and not one has regretted it.

FinnyStory · 13/09/2020 07:19

I did a degree whilst working PT with 2 children under 5. I started it at 33. I then embarked on the new career it afforded at 41, so you're young yet!

Provided you have passes in Maths and English GCSE (C or above) you have what you need to progress, no need to resist.

I'm not what MN would call a high earner but I have a professional career and pay higher rate tax!

LongPauseNoReply · 13/09/2020 07:27

I did! I went from single parent working 3 jobs (cleaning houses, working in a shop etc) to a corporate job doing general admin at first. I worked my way up through the levels quite quickly but I hated the corporate toxic work environment.

I left to start my own business, I started whilst still employed so I was able to overlap until the business was making enough to cover my corporate salary. My business is a few years old and doing very well.

You’re still young, go for it.

Sertchgi123 · 13/09/2020 07:29

I went back into education at age 30, then did my nurse training. It was the very best thing I did. Go for it.

AfolMummy · 13/09/2020 07:34

I'm hopefully going back to university next year to change career after having my DCs (3 under 5) and I'm a few years older than you. It's never too late to better your life and that of your family's.

Emeeno1 · 13/09/2020 07:36

You can do an Access to Higher Education at your local further education college. This then gives you entry into university.

Do not let age stop you, education can change your life at any age.

diplodocusinermine · 13/09/2020 07:36

I thought by later in life you meant 50 or 60, not 34! Honestly, you have your whole life ahead of you. My touchstones in matters like this were my BF's DPs who moved around the world and made an absolutely fantastic life for themselves in their late forties.

First step - decide the sort of area you'd like to work in.

Dryseptember2020 · 13/09/2020 07:43

I’m in my final year at uni and am a bit younger than you with similar age children. I did an access course first because I was over 7 years post A levels so they didn’t count (and I did really badly) and then I got onto the degree. I also work part time. Go for it! There’s people on the course who will be 50 by the time they qualify and they are amazing and passionate, one is them is one of my best friends now.

TitanicWasAGreatMovie · 13/09/2020 07:49

Do it Smile

I started a degree at 40 after being made redundant. Its a tough slog if you do a course plus work and/or and young kids.

I am only half way through the degree but I believe that just being able to put that I am doing it on my CV helped me get a better job. It also did wonders for my confidence.

Northernsoullover · 13/09/2020 08:08

Yes! At 46 I realised my future was bleak. I went to do a foundation year and started a degree which is in a shortage profession. I have been working as a cleaner for 10 years and even though I'm now in my final year I'm already working part time in the field I'm training for, on 30k pro rata. This might not be a huge salary for some but where I live its life changing compared to NMW. Best decision I've ever made was to return to study.
My advice would be to research your degree choices very carefully. From my foundation year there were many people who chose degrees for interest that don't immediately lead to well paid work. Fine if you are young or not in need of earning well.
Doing a degree has changed my life immeasurably and I am so grateful. By the way if you wanted to start this year with an Access it may not be too late. My local college is still taking on. However if you research your local university (assuming you have one) you may be able to do a foundation year in lieu of access. That suited me a lot better as I received full student maintenance loan plus grants (I'm also a lone parent).

hippohector · 13/09/2020 08:10

I started my degree aged 41.
Out of a class of 26 people, over half of us were over 35.
You still have potentially 30 years of your working life ahead of you so why not train and do something you actually enjoy and will pay more.

MrsMomoa · 13/09/2020 08:14

I'm 41 and starting my second year of my teaching degree.

If you can, do it! Smile

malificent7 · 13/09/2020 08:32

Do it...im 42...started retraining as a radiographer at 40...final year now. No regrets.

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