How do people relax in huge houses?

[mrsbeeton999]

It’s probably something I’ll never need to worry about but I’ve just been looking at a bit of property porn - huge houses with indoor pool, gym, cinema room. I think I’d never be able to have a relaxing swim in the basement or shut myself in the cinema room as I’d be worried about security in the rest of the house. In my house I can pretty much see all the house from the lounge and it’s easy to check front and back door are locked. I know some people have staff but not everyone in these houses would. I don’t think I’d feel confident swimming or watching a film if I was home alone.

Well I don't worry about 'bad men' breaking in so wouldn't have that problem. I don't even bother locking the doors during the day and often forget to do it when I go to bed or go out.

My German Shepherd would be in his element patrolling a huge house - he does his best imitation of a guard dog in our 5-bed house (average big).

Bizarre that so many people seem worried about security. I suppose if you're someone who worries about security in your standard 2/3/4 bed and worry about noises and thieves, then a. IG expensive house will be a worry for you unless you have vast security systems.

For good or bad, security has never worried me really...and I've lived in quite rough areas of cities and in nice areas too and never really felt anxious about it at all. One friend is what I might call excessively security conscious - the door bell with camera, leaves music on when popping to the shop, won't have a night away without having someone come in and close the curtains, vast numbers of locks on the doors and big alarm system even though fairly small house....I do t think she's ever had a bad experience or break-in or similar, but grew up in south London, so perhaps that's what it does to some people!!

My mother's family home was a huge house. Really big, not quite stately home but big enough to have a main staircase and a servants' staircase, along with a service passageway at the back of the house with kitchen, dairy room, scullery, gun room, laundry room, boot room, housekeeper's sitting room, butler's sitting room, butler's pantry etc.

My parents lived there for a few months while their house was being built and my Dad always complained that it was so huge that if you got to your car and then realised you'd left your wallet in your bedroom it was nearly a five minute round trip to get it.

Dobermans.

Packs of dobermans.

Why is a big house automatically scary?!
If it’s your home you feel safe.

I’m alone a lot and it’s never occurred to me to be scared.

I do have a dog though.

what a problem to have.

Someone is always at the house or in the gardens, so it is very rare for no one to be home. Big gates so you can't drive in, and gravel driveway. Dogs are a big deterrent - and we live in a very low crime rate area so no worries, I usually most of the doors open.

I am not worried at all, and I don't even think about it. We have the usual secure alarm system and panic alarm - never used or put it on.

Most crime is car related or digital fraud. It is a long stretch in prison if you break into someone's house and they are in.

This is a timely thread for me, OP, as I've been doing exactly the same as you - fantasy house buying. I came to the conclusion that I would have to invite extended family to live there, which is not a bad idea really in some ways. Multi-generational living will become a thing again, I think, and I'd rather do that in a big house than in a normal semi. If it was a REALLY big house then potentially I would have DH and me, 2 teens (and partners & kids maybe in a few years) and grandparents all living there. Maybe my sister and her family if they wanted to. I could keep an eye on the grandparents so less stress in that way. But everyone would need their own living & kitchen space as I'm an introvert and couldn't be doing with sharing those all the time. THere's always be someone around so you wouldn't feel as vulnerable.

If you had a swimming pool you couldn't really use it alone, could you? You could slip, crack your head and drown. Or even pass out while swimming and drown that way. General advice is never go swimming alone. But if you had people around you could arrange to have a swim together.

Imagine the fun you'd have with a proper ballroom type of room .Parties and games, with your own extended family & kids/ birthday parties would be right there. If I had such a big house i'd be rich so would get caterers in quite a lot and have a big Downton type of affair when it came to dinners in the large dining room.

And a billiards/games room - would be a laugh (in my imagination, anyway)

I'd have one gym that everyone could use.

You'd have to have a gardener otherwise there'd be arguments about whose turn it was to get on the ride-on mower to cut the massive lawn.

If you went on holiday you'd have ready made house and pet sitters.

It's the way forward!

curly The novelty wears off and the energy levels of doing as you describe are more in line with a twenty year old! We entertain four times a year, seasonally, and that is it, the rest of the time we are knackered like everyone else!! I spend my life plotting how to leave!

We have a largeish house - not mansion scale though! There are a lot of rooms and it's long and thin with foot-thick stone walls so you can't hear anyone from one end to the other. We don't have an alarm or a housekeeper or even a cleaner! I'm feeling cheated.
We live in a very low crime rate area and I feel totally safe, even when I'm on my own. I've left my car door open overnight accidentally, the front door open when I've gone out etc etc. All by accident but it's always been fine. The postie is more likely to check in that everything's ok rather than us being burgled, we just don't get anyone passing our house unless they also live on our lane.

Mine isn't huge but it does have a couple of reception rooms. I find I favour one and the other doesn't really get used, unless I occasionally favour the other one. I do wonder how people manage in really big houses. The majority of rooms must be virtually unused.

I never worried much about security, but when I lived in a big Victorian 4 bed I could never relax as it was always renovating, repairing, dealing with the next problem with it as it was an old place, or doing the huge sodding gardens. And I actively like DIY and a bit of gardening. It was exhausting and never ending. Never buy a huge house!!

I've always wondered this. I don't like having a small house but I can hear the front and the back doors.
My relatives used to live in a huge house and had an outdoor Rottweiler for security.

Ours is old and rambling with several staircases etc. Dead easy to hide in and escape from!

I'd have dogs inside and geese for outside. The dogs would be allowed to share the pool but not the geese.

This is why old money types had packs of dogs, the yapping kind and those who would have a good chew of any intruder.

@Friendsoftheearth That's why I would make sure everyone had their own living & kitchen areas. So each part of the family is kind of self-contained, but you have larger group areas for when you all want to get together.

Do you have your own self-contained areas to escape to?

You have cameras. And everything sets them off.

Like Kensington Palace, I suppose. Each offshoot of the family would have their own apartment within the larger house.

I take it you're not the Queen, @Friendsoftheearth? I can imagine that getting a bit tiring at times. I can imagine you wanting to escape.

You don't need to run faster than the bear. Just faster than the other guy.

Ditto homes: you make yours look like more hassle/less valuable to break into than the one just next door

I tend to work and watch TV in my office downstairs. There is hardly ever no one in the house and we have never been burgled. I suspect it is because there is always someone in and we don't have flash cars that this house so far has not been picked on - not that there is much to steal - they would be very disappointed. This house however is not some kind of massive castle. It is about 5000 sq ft.

curly yes we have cottages for people to stay, and sometimes I wish I was more sociable than I am, this house deserves a twinkling hostess, but I am not that - there is a certain pressure especially on a summers day to invite everyone over. I can say with some certainty that I would have more of an actual life if I didn't live here!

@Xenia

I don't have mental health issues so obviously am not worried all the time about burglars as I don't need to see every area of the house to know burglars have not smashed their way in!

My house is large. I don't leave the doors or windows open downstairs and the windows have locks on, etc. The security lights outside at night go on if anyone goes near. I never feel in the slightest bit frightened. I am not a scardey cat. Why are people so weak these days?

Angry,I agree. We used to have a housekeeper/cleaner every morning in the week ( as well as a daily nanny for the 5 children) but when the youngest went to university I just took back the cleaning myself as it is not nice to have people in the house in my view although it was definitely needed when we both worked full time and had 5 children in a big house.

However being in a nice big house is lovely. Every single day I am absolutely delighted to live here.

Gosh, @Xenia, you're losing your touch. You got in the house and staff, but forgot to mention in this post that all your five children were privately educated from the age of five at schools were entrance was based on an IQ of 120 or above. And probably tested for 'scaredy cat' qualities, too.

Oh my god I totally agree. I love living in my flat, I can sleep alone there and feel safe because there’s NOWHERE anyone can hide 😂 even in a small house I feel uneasy because there’s always a whole floor I’m not in, and then the attic... 😳